a M. fAli
ke8SMESORM.
tells the story of family members
in a heated feud over funeral
plans for their mother. Then they
read her ethical will.
"She told them, We gave you
the best education that we could
afford, we love you very much
and all that we ask is that you
don't fight,' " Rabbi Riemer re-
counts. "And they didn't."
Ethical wills are too personal
for hard-and-fast rules, says Rab-
bi Riemer, but he offers some ad-
vice for getting started: Write
down treasured memories, things
for which you are thankful, some-
thing you wish to have forgiven,
something you want to forgive.
"But the main thing is to be
honest," says Rabbi Riemer. "If
you have some convictions that
you really feel deeply about, this
is your chance to express them.
"But you've got to express
them by what you do — not just
by what you write — or it will
look like hypocrisy."
Rabbi Telushkin suggests that
parents write their ethical wills
while their children are still
young. Doing this, he explains,
might "make them realize what's
important in life and give them
an opportunity to change, while
there's still time."
And as Rabbi Riemer and oth-
ers note, these parting words cer-
tainly are not limited to any
single religion or ethnic group.
African slaves often left behind
oral advice on everything from
spirituality to how to survive the
plantations.
"We never called it an ethical
will but I think the principle is
the same," says Carrol Waymon,
a leader in the African-American
community and a teacher at a
San Diego community college.
Evangelical Christians are
fond of leaving testimonials of
their faith in their regular wills,
says Sherwood Eliot Wirt, a re-
tired editor of Billy Graham's De-
cision magazine.
"It's a glorious way to end
one's life, I think, with a tribute
to God and his goodness," Mr.
Wirt adds.
Others also like the idea of
leaving behind a piece of charac-
ter, along with capital.
"Let's face it, society's pretty
screwed up as far as values go —
it could go a great deal toward
raising consciousness," says Todd
Salzman, who teaches Christian
ethics at the University of San
Diego.
But even proponents ac-
knowledge there are some down-
sides to ethical wills. Caskets
should not be used as bully pul-
pits nor should ethical wills be
used to manipulate from the
grave. This "can cripple the re-
cipient," warns Rabbi Riemer in
his how-to book.
University of California San
Diego political science professor
Ellen Comisso agrees.
"I'm trying to think of what
would happen if I got such a will,"
she muses. "I dcn't know if I
would want a hand reaching out
from the grave to me, telling me
what I should be; that's kind of
the • other side of story."
This is particularly true, Pro-
fessor Comisso adds, if the be-
liefs left by the deceased are
contrary to those held by the de-
scendants.
"You don't want to haunt peo-
ple from the grave," says Mr.
Salzman. "Then it becomes an
unethical will."
Still, the father of the idea for
the "Chicago Hope" scene won-
ders about the legacy of a society
whose members, regardless of
faith, got into the habit of writ-
ing down what they've tried to
stand for in their lives.
"I think it would make people
realize that ethical issues are
more significant to them than
they usually realize," says Rab-
bi Telushkin. "And it might start
to affect their behavior." ❑
Rheumatic Fever
Can Be Treated
MARSHALL FRANKLIN SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH NEWS
I
Marshall Franklin is a San Diego-
him to get up and walk around.
He still was pretty weak when he
was allowed to return to school.
He told us it started with a
sore throat and ended with
swollen painful joints and a heart
murmur due to a damaged heart
valve. He was excused from gym
class by doctor's order, and his
general activity was restricted.
He tired very easily.
As the school year went on, he
gained some strength, and by the
next year, fifth grade, he seemed
pretty normal. His doctors still
based cardiologist who writes
for Copley News Service.
RHEUMATIC FEVER page 65
was 9 years old in 1939 and in
the fourth grade at school
when a frail new student
joined our class. He was a year
older than the rest of us and had
missed a year of school due to ill-
ness.
He had contracted acute
rheumatic fever, and his heart
was injured by it. He was re-
stricted to bed and to sitting in a
chair for nearly six months until
his heart recovered enough for
•
'The 'Premier Rental Retirement Community 'That 3-las It AII!
Spirtny Ditnatand letme Seir(Ls
This Week's Lecturer is
Particia L. Cornett, PhD
"Foods from Around the World"
Friday, April 26th at 2:30 pm
Complimentary Spring International Lecture Series
For reservations please call The Trowbridge Concierge
(810) 352-4316. Tours will be available following each lecture.
24111 Civic Center Drive • Southfield. MI (between Telegraph & Berg Road)
&
We're Just What
The Doctor Ordered!
COME AND VISIT OUR
ET SHOWROOM!
THE ADVANTAGES OF
BARNES HOME MEDICAL
• Highly Personalized Attention
• Ct?ordinated Care With Physicians and Hospitals
• Clean, State-Of-The-Art Equipment:
• Oxygen • Nebulizers
• Hospital beds and accessories
• Wheelchairs and accessories
• Diabetic equipment and supplies
• Instructions Provided In Equipment Use
24-Hour Emergency Oxygen and Enteral Feeding
• Major Insurance Plans Honored
SUIVANWILC
Heated 5-in-1 Massager
\ `
c .s.Al
------
Attachments for face, body, feet, scalp, and
penetrating heat massage. Quiet and durable.
RNES
HOME MEDICAL
EQUIPMENT & SERVICES, INC.
5829 West Maple Road
West of Orchard Lake Rd. • West Bloomfield
810 • 932 • 0888
Hours: Mon.-Fri. 9-5 • Sat. 10-2