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LUXURY DOESN'T HAVE
To BE BORING.
"Refined Luxury"
`96 ACURA 3.5 RL
Cr)
LL,
CI)
LL.1
CC
F-
LU
UJ
F-
.o
$499 PER MONTH *
1828 Maplelawn
W ACURA . in the
Troy Motor Mall
of TROY
(810) 643-0900
"YOUR PRECISION TEAM AWARD ACURA DEALER"
`Plus tax, per month/39 month closed end lease, 12,000 miles per year, 150 per mile overage, 1st payment, security deposit. (equal to pay-
ment, rounded to next $25 increment), license, title, tax, $450 acquisition fee, $2,500 cap reduction due at lease inception. Option to pur-
chase at !ease end for predetermined price. To get total of payment multiply payment x term. Other models and terms available at similar sav-
ings! Sale ends 4/30/96. While supplies last. ©1996 Acura Division of American Honda Motor Co., Inc. Acura and CL are trademarks of
Honda Motor Co. Ltd. VTEC is a trademark of Honda Motor Co., Ltd. Make an intelligent decision. Buckle up.
DOING page 19
doing anything. You are being
their parent; they are busy being,
period. This is the normal course
of affairs.
They are not focused on what
anyone else is up to, least of all
you. After all, you are the constant
provider of attention, feedback,
protection and snacks in their
lives. That's what parenting is
about.
This attitude is only a problem
when the kids don't grow out of it,
oh, before they're 35 or so.
As an admirer and reader of
various critics who cover film, tele-
vision, and theater, I do wish,
sometimes, that there was a
"mom" reviewer, other than
grandparents, of course, who
would issue grades, critiques and
occasional prizes, something like
this:
"Ok, Mom, that was a good trip
to the grocery store. You averted
theft and the toppling of a tower
of soda cans; that's 3 points. You
didn't yell at anybody, purchase
any gum, or curse when someone
cut you out of a parking spot; that's
another 3 points. You gave a quick
lesson in kashruth and turned
away from the temptation of the
tacky tabloid covers. Congratula-
tions, Mom. Today you get an "A"
in grocery shopping. Good for you.
All right, Dad, that was fair
homeworking. You gave away two
answers, so that's minus a point,
but you got the kid to start a pa-
per that isn't due for three days,
so that's a plus. Everyone finished
up in time for dinner, so, Pop, you
get a "B" in homework. Not bad,
big guy.
You see? Wouldn't that be sat-
isfying?
Grades, like election returns,
have immediacy. But the lead
time on getting actual parenting
reviews is half a lifetime, if then,
and is based on observation, not
actual feedback.
I will know if my 8-year-old
gives me an "A" in Mommyhood
101 only when I see her being a
mother. Since I'm not sure I can
wait that long, I've drafted my per-
sonal, informal report card. It
looks a lot like the ones I used to
bring home from junior high (back
when we had junior high, and not
middle school). My report cards
had "A's" in the subjects I liked,
such as English amd history; "B's"
in the subjects I tolerated, such as
science, and "C's" in math.
Things that are good
for children
infuriate them.
Thus my Mommy report card
shows an "A" in cooking, tromp-
ing through the woods, and read-
ing out loud. I guess I get a "B" in
toothbrushing, carpooling and
stopping work to be with children,
and I know I get a "C" in bedtime
and in tidying up. I flunk sewing,
because attaching a gaudy, red se-
quined butterfly to a denim dress
has been the entire extent of my
needlework this century.
My mom and dad used to re-
ward our good grades with cash
prizes, twenty-five cents for an A
(so, it was a long time ago) and a
dime for a B. I wouldn't mind go-
ing back to that system.
Even if my grades weren't
great, I'd still have enough change
to phone home for reinforcements.
That's where parents have it bet-
ter than mayors: often, there are
two of us, and the asnwer to "How
Am I Doing?" is, "We are doing
0.K
❑
MAGIC page 19
and sat, for 45 minutes, on our
small front porch. We called to
the birds to dine on our leftover
Pesach cake (they took us up on
the offer), saw a finch, discovered
a nest in our front tree, watched
our breath turn into smoke in
the cold air.
I urge you to give it a try.
Start with a Friday night.
Stay at home. Plan an elegant
meal, using your favorite wine
and fanciest dishes. Eat in the
dining room instead of the
kitchen. Indulge in a delicious
dessert. Don't bother writing any
shopping lists. Leave the TV and
radio off and shut out the rest of
the world, too. Don't even an-
swer the phone (most likely it's
just the World of Wonderful
Windows and they'll just happen
to be in your neighborhood to-
morrow, and could they stop in
and give you an estimate? They
have a special this week only ...)
Do something that's not part
of your ordinary week. Take a
walk late at night. Put your feet
up and read. Speak, at length,
with your spouse and children.
And then think of me.
If you try this Shabbat plan
and find it works for you, write
(no phone calls, please) about
your experiences to Elizabeth
Applebaum, c/o The Jewish
News, 27676 Franklin Road,
Southfield, MI 48034.
I want to hear from you.