Engaging Intermarriage
Is A Primary Concern

;

IVO44z

RABBI ALAN SILVERSTEIN

T

he 1990 National Jewish
Population Survey served
as a wake-up call: Jewish
continuity in North Amer-
ica is in peril. Over half of mar-
riages involving Jewish brides or
grooms to a non-Jewish partner.
Less than 5 percent of non-Jew-
ish marital partners convert to
Judaism.
When conversion to Judaism
does not occur, only 28 percent of
the youngsters raised in the
mixed-married homes are raised
as Jews. And, many of these boys
and girls are never even enrolled
in a program of formal Jewish ed-
ucation. Moreover, precious few
of the grandchildren of Jew-
ish/Christian parentage will
reach adulthood identifying with
Judaism.
Since 1990, the organized Jew-
ish community has responded
with vigor. A wide range of pro-
grams are being emphasized: e.g.
the Israel Experience for teens,
Jewish Family Education for par-
ents with young children, more
energetic recruitment to Jewish
camping, Jewish youth groups,
Jewish day schools and so forth.
Undeniably, quality program-
ming is critical for Jewish iden-
tity formation. However,
programming must be refocused
to tackle today's most basic Jew-
ish concerns.
Specifically, we must help par-
ents, grandparents, siblings, ex-
tended family as well as teens
and young adults to answer the
proliferating array of intermar-
riage-related questions which all
to often go unanswered. For ex-
ample, we must be prepared to
respond to:
Why be Jewish? What's the
gain?
What could be possibly be
wrong with interdating? It is
merely having a good time.
If I fall in love with and many
a non-Jew, isn't it reasonable to
assume that he/she will convert
into Judaism?
Even if my spouse does not
convert, can't I raise my children
to be Jews anyway?
If my parents are not reli-
giously observant, wouldn't they
be hypocrites to oppose my in-
terdating/intermarriage?
How can my parents reconcile
acceptance of intermarried rela-
tives within our extended family
while insisting that I many with-
in the faith?
What difference does it make
anyway? Are not Judaism and

Rabbi Alan Silverstein is
president of the Rabbinical
Assembly.

Christianity merely variations on
the same theme of believing in
God and being a good person?
What is involved in my part-
ner considering conversion into
Judaism, and what difference
would conversion make for the
Jewish future of my family?
If I am part of an interfaith
marriage, why not raise the chil-
dren "in both religions?"
If we seek one religion for our
sons and daughters, why is Ju-
daism a desirable choice for the
offspring of the mixed-married?
As Jewish families, we cannot
afford to remain ill-equipped to
respond with substance and con-
viction to queries which impact
so dramatically upon the Jewish
future of our homes. We need
"Jewish Books of Why" for issues
related to intermarriage!
Is it not time for Jewish orga-
nizations, Jewish federations,
synagogue movements, youth
groups, Jewish educators and

Our focus on
intermarriage
concerns has not
taken the right
direction.

communal workers to move be-
yond programming alone, touch-
ing only the margins of Jewish
identity-building? Should we not
enter, with equal vigor, into the
core arena for Jewish continuity:
Responding to the piercing ques-
tions of the 1990s!
Let us engage single Jewish
adults and teens, as well as the
intermarried in meaningful di-
alogue. Let us empower our con-
stituents to articulate Judaism's
points of view. Prime Minister
Yitzhak Rabin urged in his High
Holy Day Message to World Jew-
ry, let us shift our slogan from
"Let My People Go" to "Let My
People Be Jewish." Mr. Rabin is
correct, but to do so we must be
able to answer the younger gen-
eration's list of whys, whats and
ifs. We must verbalize "the Case
for Jewish Continuity." ❑

4/111-41 4 ---

David Solon

810-851-6660

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