[ Not Until You
Your Honiewor
Overcoming the
power struggle
doesn't have to
be difficult.
JILL DAVIDSON SKLAR STAFF WRITER
2
heryl Reid had had
enough.
Enough of her
son's excuses for
not doing home-
work, enough of his
slipping grades and
enough of the no-
tices sent home
from teachers telling her of his
lagging efforts.
So when the last round arrived
in her mail, she couldn't help but
throw the slips of paper at her
son. Before anything worse could
happen, she left the house and
didn't return for hours.
"He is a good kid. He doesn't
drink, doesn't smoke," she said.
"But he wants everything with-
out working for it."
"It is frustrating," she said.
Ms. Reid is not alone. As the
schools of America fling their
doors open in September for yet
another year, millions of baffled
. •-•.t .
parents will begin the power
struggles that mark homework. Museum, things she never
Kids will also begin their cycle thought she would do.
of doing anything to avoid it. Say-
"I thought it was philosophi-
ing they don't have any, that they cally wrong and that I wouldn't
forgot their books at school, or sink to that," she said. "But there
that they are going to a friend's is nothing like being a parent to
house to study when all they do change your habits or ideas."
is play video games are some of
Some even do the homework
the things that will come from for the child. Lisa, a parent who
students' mouths when parents refused to be named in this arti-
ask if the homework was done.
cle, did her son's fifth-grade pro-
To avoid the aggravation, par- ject, including a written report
ents will do just about anything. and a three-dimensional display.
Some bribe their children with
"It was a difficult assignment
expensive toys and gifts; others
and it would be less aggravating
withhold favorite pastimes such if I did it," she said. Her son got
as video games or television.
an A.
Debbie Wallis Landau, a West
to Dr. Richard Lern-
Bloomfield mother of a 10-year- er, According
director of the Institute for
old boy, has threatened to with- Children, Youth and Family at
hold Sega Genesis or trips to Michigan State University, the
Marvin's Marvelous Mechanical
C
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struggle associated with home-
work has gone on since teachers
started assigning the work. He
remembers his own battles with
his parents regarding the right
to watch "American Bandstand"
before doing his homework.
"My parents would say, 'Don't
you have anything better to do
than listen to that stupid music?"
recalled Dr. Lerner, who is also a
professor of family and child ecol-
ogy and psychology.
The reasons for the power
struggles are as varied as the peo-
ple involved in them, said Dr.
Sharon Elliott, assistant dean for
teacher education in the college
of education at Wayne State Uni-
versity.
But what it all boils down to
is the process of a child becoming
more independent of the parent,
she said.
"Even in the preschool age, you
are trying to make the child be-
come independent," she said.
Parents can help the process
by assigning children simple
tasks to complete by themselves
such as cleaning up their toys.
If properly done, this can instill
a sense of pride and accomplish-
ment.
"When you have to keep stand-
ing over them and supervising
them, then the trouble begins,"
she said.
By working with the children
at a young age, the parents also
can head off years of frustration
over the homework struggle.
"If parents can instill the val-
ues of learning and achievement
in their children as well as a
sense of self, parents have done
their job," Dr. Lerner said.
"This is no mystery," he said.
"You model that you are someone
who is dedicated to trying your
best and your child will follow the
model."
To do so, Dr. Lerner suggests
having provisions for learning
such as magazines and books in
the home from the time the child
is born. Gearing some of the ma-
terials for children can allow
them to read or study alongside
their parents.
Another suggestion is to help
the child develop language abil-
ity, in part by simply talking to
the infant or child. A further step
is to press for interaction be-
tween the child and learning ma-
terials.
"Two-thirds of early achieve-
ment can come from those three
things," he said.
Once the child is into
school, parents need to help
the child develop regular
study habits, Dr. Elliott said.
This can be done by set-
ting a study time or a
place that is comfortable
for the child.
"Right after school
may not be the right time,
just as having a separate
study area may not be the
right place," she said. "But
establish a routine. It can
be a teeny little corner or
the time after dinner but it
has to become part of the
daily pattern."
Since each child is dif-
ferent, each will reach inde-
pendence at a different time, the
experts said.
This was especially true of
Debbie Wallis Landau's son,
David. Prior to fourth grade,
David was more interested in
mastering a video game than so-
cial studies homework.
But he began to mature and
take more responsibility for his
work this past year, thanks in
part to dedicated teachers who
gave him positive feedback on his
achievements.
"'That encouraged him to do it,"
Ms. Landau said. "After that, his
performance in general im-
proved."
For others, it takes time and
patience.
Ms. Reid is giving her son one
more chance. This fall he is en-
rolled in two classes as a fresh-
man at Oakland Community
College. If he gets a B or better
on his report card, he can take
two more classes and eventual-
ly he will be allowed to transfer
to Central Michigan University.
"I think he will get it together,"
she said. "I just hope it doesn't
take too much longer." Li
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