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"It (the accident) really put things in perspective," she
said. "I could have lost all my faculties or I could have
died. The first thing I thought about after I heard the di-
agnosis was, 'Thank God I'm alive. I can walk and talk
and I still have my sense of humor.'
"I am so thankful for the ability to do things I couldn't
do for myself after I fell. There were
months when I didn't know if I would be (above)
able to leave my house again."
Ms. Cantor,
Ms. Feldman is still not used to being who misses
in crowds. She finds the noise and com- being able to
motion disorienting, and occasionally she smile, and her
experiences short-term memory loss and husband Larry.
has difficulty recalling specific words. She (right) Barbara
is terrified of walking on snow and ice. Cantor hopes
If she has to go out of town for a jewelry to return to her
show, she tries to find a hotel close by.
parent-toddler
Barbara Cantor, who walked the same classes at the
four-mile route every day, is thankful she JCC.
cannot remember much of her accident,
which occurred two months ago.
She remembers everything that happened until the
truck struck her. At the time, she was stepping off the
curb to cross the street at Orchard Lake and 13 Mile
roads.
As a result of the accident, Ms. Cantor had a fracture
extending from her left cheek to her ear. Other injuries
included blood clots in her head, hearing loss and paral-
ysis on the left side of her face.
"I was one mile from my home," Ms. Cantor said. "He
didn't even look before he turned."
Witnesses said Ms. Cantor was under the truck. She
doesn't remember.
When his wife didn't return from her walk, Larry Can-
tor went to look for Barbara. When he couldn't find her,
he called the police. That's when he learned his wife was
at Botsford General Hospital in Farmington Hills.
When Mr. Cantor got to the hospital, doctors would
not let him see his wife. They were about to airlift her to
Ann Arbor for further medical care.
"In situations like these, you always think the worst,"
Mr. Cantor said. "I didn't know how critical she was or
if she would survive. I kept picturing the accident and
trying to imagine what it must have been like."
Over the last two months, the blood clots in Ms.
Cantor's head have dissipated and much of her hear-
ing has come back. However, she still has paralysis
on the left side of her face and cannot smell or taste
anything.
Although she notices significant improvement, her
road to recovery is slow.
"I'm usually a very patient person," she said. "But, I'm
not patient with this because I enjoy being active and
right now I can't be.
"One thing I really miss being able to do is smile. I re-
ally want to smile again. But, I'm doing OK."
Ms. Cantor, who founded and has been teaching par-
ent-toddler classes at the Jewish Community Center
since 1971, hopes to return to her job. Physicians said
it will take about six months (until January) before she
can go back. She also plans to return to her part-time job titled to see themselves as an innocent victim of misfor-
tune."
at The Gap in Farmington Hills.
Rabbi Alon Tolwin of Aish HaTorah said it's impera-
Ms. Cantor is able to leave her house for short outings,
and she recently went to California for her daughter's tive to ask, "Why me?"
"Accidents are God's way of pushing you off a cliff to
wedding.
She was worried about going. Home was so comfort- grab your attention," he said. "Therefore, an accident
able and safe, and the thought of being far away made should be a time of significant personal reflection."
Mr. Liss and Ms. Feldman never asked "why me?" ei-
her nervous. She wondered out loud how the plane's cab-
in pressure would affect her and if the trip would be too ther — mostly, they said, because they have felt lucky
throughout their lives.
taxing.
"I'm past the 'why me?' stage," Mr. Liss said. "I'm old
"I now have fears I've never had before," Ms. Cantor
said. "I'm afraid of being away from home, riding in a car enough to know bad things happen in life. Asking that
and seeing the reactions of people who knew me before. question doesn't accomplish anything."
Ms. Cantor said she only wishes she knew when she
"Things can happen in a matter of seconds. Life is just
so unpredictable," she said. "I keep thinking that one in- will get better.
"We are all susceptible to misfortune," Mr. Liss said.
stant changed my life."
Ms. Cantor said she never stopped to ask "Why me?" "We have to be cognizant we're not the masters of all that
— even though Judaism says there is nothing wrong with happens to us, and we have to hope we're lucky and that
fate treats us well. I don't consider my accident a horri-
asking that question, according to Rabbi Nevins.
"Sometimes perfectly innocent people suffer great mis- ble thing. I think I'm damn lucky. It could have been
fortune," he said. "Just as Job insists on his innocence much worse." ❑
and is ultimately vindicated, people in our time are en-