Community Views

Editor's Notebook

Summer Views
Fromthe Back Deck

Elvis May Be Dead, But
Did He Have Manners?

THE REV. JAMES R. LYONS SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH NEWS

ELIZABETH APPLEBAUM ASSOC ATE ED TOR

Sitting on the deck
out back, I thought:
"Summertime is
not only a time of
relaxation and re-
creation, but
maybe a time for
confession." 0.K, I
confess! The first
thing I read in the
daily paper is the comics. I figure
after a chuckle or two the rest of
the "news" will seem less grim. it
also sets the tone for the day
where I am prepared to laugh
and enjoy the foolishness of life
that seems to surround each of
us.
I have been fascinated by the
occasional use of words, particu-
larly in advertising, which I find
\-) to be extremely funny. A few
years ago a delicatessen adver-
tising in The Jewish News offered
"free children with meals." Since
my family was at the perfect size,
I couldn't decide whether I want-
ed to eat there or not; or whether
I could eat there without accept-
ing their offer of "free children."
What would happen to those "free
children" if I didn't take them? It
was one of my summer conun-
drums. In my mind, this ad fits
with the sign often seen in neigh-
, borhoods: Slow Children. Can you
imagine the impact of growing up
knowing that all the world knows
that you are one of the "slow chil-
dren"?
Just recently looking at a bag
of potato chips wilting on our
• pantry shelf, I noticed that there
was a contest announced on the
bag. I was assured that there was
"no purchase necessary." I
couldn't help but chuckle when
I learned that the coupon was in-
side the bag. I had visions of run-
ning up and down the store aisles,
tearing open the "no coupon nec-
essary" bags of potato chips in or-
der to enter the contest. On the
\, ) other hand, if I had accepted the
z offer of "free children," not only
would the potato chips not have
lasted long enough to wilt on the
shelves, but I would probably
have bought all the bags neces-
sary for the contest.
Not too long ago on the Inter-
net I found one of the most posi-
tive statements I've ever seen.
Two gentlemen who were begin-
• ning a new bulletin board for his-
' torical book reviews signed their
names with the qualifications
that they were "do-editors." Wow!
That hit me. Maybe we need to
do away with "co-chairmen" in fa-
vor of "do-chairmen" for all of the
activities in which we are in-
volved. Well, you get the idea of
how a typical day goes for me.
On the other hand, I have

The Rev. James Lyons is the

director of the Ecumenical
Institute.

learned to extend a sense of
laughter far beyond the fun
things of life. The Eskimos dis-
covered long ago that when deal-
ing with silly ideas the best
answer was pure laughter. The
current discussion in Congress
about "flag burning" and the ef-
fort to pass an amendment ought
to cause hysterical laughter from
all of the people in America. No,
I'm not in favor of burning flags.
But, when the level or the argu-
ment is based on American Le-
gion Commander William
Detweiler's statement, "If burn-
ing the flag is wrong, it is wrong
no matter how many times it oc-
curs. In fact, we contend it is a
problem even if no one ever burns
another flag. " How does one re-
spond to such lunacy? I have a
friend who used to give a speech
titled "Rearranging the Deck
Chairs on the Titanic." With all
the problems we face in gov-
ernment, society and

world affairs, the foolishness of
spending time passing amend-
ments and laws which in reality
have no purpose amounts to "re-
arranging the deck chairs."
So maybe if we could learn to
laugh at ourselves, we would
laugh at the television talk show
hosts who treat everything with
the same degree of false sinceri-
ty. By laughing at the politicians,
who blather without coming to
grips with the problems, we
might come to the point where in
interreligious dialogue we can be-
gin to laugh with one another.
Notice I said laugh with one an-
other. Is it possible? Let me give
an early example of dialogue that
perplexed me and then made me
chuckle.
For work on a book titled Jesus
Within the Judaisms of His Time,
I have been reading Judah
Nadich's two volume work The
Legends of the Rabbis where the
following appears.
"A certain Sadducee once

asked Gebiha Ben Pesisa, 'Woe
to you, you sinners, who say that
the dead will live again; if the liv-
ing die, how can the dead live?'
He replied, 'Woe to you, you sin-
ners, who say the dead will not
live again; if those who never ex-
isted come to life, how much more
so those who have existed!' The
Sadducee retorted, 'You call me
sinner! If I get up, I shall give you
such a kick as to knock your
hump off your back!' Gebiha re-
sponded, 'If you do so, you will be
known as a skillful physician and
you will be highly paid.' (San-
hedrin 61a)"
This statement is very humor-
ous when the full circum-

stances are understood. As
Nadich points out, to 'knock your
hump off' is used automatically
with the meaning "to drive out
your arrogance," but the retort is
the humor of Gebiha, a hunch-
back. I can imagine the two look-
ing at each other, breaking into
laughter and walking along in
conversation.
Sometimes it takes a touch of
humor to see the other as a per-
sonality. That humor enables us
to appreciate each other and our
differences. Sometimes much
deeper insights into what we
"know" to be true becomes possi-
ble. Yes, I know what butterfly is
and its proper name. But sitting
on the porch, watching a butter-
fly flit from flower to flower, I
smiled when I remembered the
child's name for this insect: "flut-
terby." That is not the "correct"
name but it sure catches the
essence of a butterfly.
Anyhow, as I started to say, sit-
ting on the deck... ❑

I don't know
what it is about
Michael Jackson.
I mean, the guy
is in the news
every week.
And what
about the whole
T ,isa Marie thing?
Of course, Lisa
Marie is a story in herself. How
could she not be, growing up in
a house that had a 'jungle room."
I know, I've been there.
I was driving back home to
Missouri after working in New
Orleans for a year when I
stopped in Memphis. Natural-
ly, a visit to Graceland was a
must. (My mother is still em-
barrassed that I actually went
there. Please don't let her know
that you know.)
I will never forget one room
at Graceland. It was draped
with animal prints and deco-
rated (if you can call it that)
with animal heads. It's called
"the jungle room" (lots of rooms
at Graceland have names).
I confess I made fun of it. Our
tour guide didn't think I was
funny.
"Elvis designed this room
himself," she said, her tone one
of reverence.
Love him or hate him, you've
got to admit Elvis' son-in-law
has talent. But what about
Michael's sister, LaToya?
Well, if nothing else, she has
the Psychic Hotline.
I think it's important to say
something about LaToya here
because I'm considering asking
her for a job at the hotline. Af-
ter all, there are so many peo-
ple out there who think I'm
psychic.
At least that's the only an-
swer I can come up with to ex-
plain the horrendous lack of
manners I see. Could it be that
people are just thinking 'Thank
you," then not bothering to call
or write because they're certain
I'm hearing their message psy-
chically?
Now before you imagine I
want a full-page ad in the paper
("Thank you, you are so won-
derful!") let me make it clear
this is not the case. I'm not ask-
ing for an elaborate expression
of gratitude. What I'm lament-
ing is a lack of simple good man-
ners.
When I was little, my moth-
er forced me to write thank-you
notes. My brother and sister
had to write them, too, though
it could mean life in hell for
weeks. My brother procrasti-
nated, then agonized over every
thank-you he had to write for
his bar mitzvah gifts.
He even came up with the
brilliant idea of writing one
generic letter (certainly a liter-

ary masterpiece, `Thank you for
your wonderful gift. I know I
will enjoy using it") which he
hoped to photocopy and send to
everyone.
What a surprise. My parents
nixed the idea.
But it wasn't just my parents
who insisted on good manners.
So does the Torah.
It's called derech eretz, and it
means proper conduct. One is
directed, "Let the honor of your
neighbor be as dear to you as
your own."
Yet from the way some Jews
behave, you would think good
manners are as appropriate as
eating a ham-and-cheese sand-
wich.
"I'm not sure, but I think you
gave us a gift for our son when
he was born," read one thank-
you we recently received. "If you
did, we want to thank you for
it!" (Yes, we gave you some-
thing. And we put a lot of
thought and money into it.
Thanks so much for responding
in kind.)
Another thank-you arrived
two years — that's right — two
years after we gave the couple
the gift.
Of course, the best is always
nothing. Give a gift and never
hear a word from the happy
couple or the new parents.
Or how about those people
(you thought they were friends)
who did nothing when your
baby was born, or acquain-
tances who can't be bothered to
respond when you wish, "Good
Shabbat."
Now let me make it clear that
I'm not talking about people
with serious problems, people
who have life-threatening ill-
nesses or are in horrendously
difficult situations. I'm talking
about the average person who
is simply a thoughtless, lazy
bonehead.
Everybody is always lament-
ing the "good old days."
Actually the "good old days"
were pretty lousy. If it were still
the "good old days," we wouldn't
have modern medicine, air-con-
ditioning or air-fresheners for
your car (doesn't that "new car
scent" just make life worth liv-
ing?)
But it does seem that even as
short as 20 years ago people
were more apt to say five of my
favorite words: "please," "thank
you" and "you're welcome." They
were more likely to remember
a birthday with a card or buy
a couple a baby gift.
All right, so maybe it wasn't
the nicest thing in the world to
make fun of Elvis' "jungle
room."
At least I said "thank you" at
the end of the tour. ❑