says Rabbi Dannel Schwartz of Tem-
ple Shir Shalom in West Bloomfield.
"It's the same story with everyone,
whether they're Jewish, Catholic, Ital-
ian or any other denomination. There
is an old story about a Catholic church
and a synagogue merging. The name
of the new congregation becomes Our
Lady of Perpetual Guilt and Sorrow."
Others say that while guilt is uni-
versal, Jews are more prone to feeling
it because of family upbringing and our
biblical history.
Rabbi Avraham Jacobovitz of Ma-
chon LTorah in Oak Park says the con-
cept of feeling and expressing guilt over
a wrongdoing is rooted in Jewish law.
"If guilt motivates a person to im-
prove or correct himself or herself, it
has a positive place in Jewish thought.
Any other guilt is usually counterpro-
ductive."
Rabbi Schwartz says Jewish guilt is
a stereotype, and guesses Jews are as-
sociated with it because "we've been at
it for so long.
It's a universal trait to think you're
the only one and Jews have almost al-
ways been in an underdog position."
If anyone is guilty of perpetuating
the Jewish guilt cliché, it's comedians
whose routines consist of the jokes
about the nagging Jewish mother who
lays on the guilt trip by complaining,
"You never call me."
One comedian who steers clear of
Jewish guilt quips is Richard Lewis,
who is known for his neurotic style of
comedy.
In a 1991 interview with Entertain-
ment Weekly, Mr. Lewis told a reporter
he had to get ready for a photo session.
"I don't even kn Ay what I'm on the cov-
er of," he told O. a reporter. "Guilt mag-
azine, I think.'
Mr. Lewis, .o will perform at Chap-
lin's East in L troit next month, does
not believe in Jewish guilt.
"The adjective Jewish is unfair," he
says. "Catholic people feel just as guilty.
Guilt is color blind. And, for the record,
mothers don't make you feel guilty. You
make yourself feel guilty.
"Personally, I transcend guilt. I've
lived it. I talk about it. I remember feel-
ing it when I struck out in a Little
League game. I have more feelings of
guilt than anyone I know."
If anyone knows about guilt, it's Rab-
bi Harlan Wechsler. He wrote the book
on it — literally.
The New York rabbi and educator at
the Jewish Theological Seminary of
America feels Jews are more prone to
guilt than others.
"Jews have a long history stemming
back to the Bible which sets up many
rules which we're supposed to live by.
When you fall short, you feel guilty,"
Rabbi Wechsler says. "It's something
we've cultivated for almost 4,000 years
and you can really get to be an expert
over 4,000 years.
"In addition to our history, Jewish
guilt comes as a byproduct of one of our
virtues of the Jewish family, a tight-
knit unit with high aspirations, and of-
ten unmet expectations. We are the
people of the prophets who delivered
the message that people ought to feel
guilty for any wrongdoings. Between
the Bible and everything that came
from it and the reality of a Jewish fam-
ily, it's a double whammy which makes
us highly sensitive to guilt."
A
s the director of social services
with Menorah House, Ruth
Aaronson is a firsthand witness
to other people's feelings of
guilt.
Families who bring elderly parents
or relatives to a nursing home often
equate it with abandonment and feel a
tremendous sense of guilt.
"People think they should be able to
meet a loved one's needs at home and
when it becomes obvious they cannot,
they feel a sense of failure," says Ms.
Aaronson, who recently placed her
mother-in-law in Menorah House.
A family's feelings of remorse often
stem from past experiences, where it
was the norm to see multi-generations
living under one roof. Then, it was more
JEWISH GUILT? page 40