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take in this happiness with us.
Without him, we are alone. This
loneliness overrides my happiness.
This is why I am crying."
Obviously, the "father" is a
metaphor for the presence of the
Almighty. The wedding is the
world that we occupy. We live in
a world bereft of God's presence.
We live in an unsure world. Peo-
ple don't have confidence in what
is real and what is not. We play
make-believe games, pretending
to understand. The true sense of
right and wrong, good and evil has
been obscured. We can and do be-
come victims of confusion. All this
is because "father" is not here.
Imagine that long ago a De-
troiter, while visiting the former
Soviet Union, was picked up by
the KGB for espionage and
shipped off to Siberia. He lan-
guished there for years, waking
up at 5 every morning, eating stale
bread for breakfast and drinking
cold soup at night. He constantly
mourned, yearning as he slaved
away, thinking about the better
life he had back in Detroit. Re-
minding himself of his former life
enveloped him in deep pain.
Eventually he married and had
a son. The child grew up with the
same routine, getting up at 5, the
stale bread and the cold soup. But
since this was all he had ever
known, he was not saddened by
his lot.
Do you think he will ever miss
anything? He was never in De-
troit, had never eaten a soft, fresh
piece of bread. He knows of noth-
ing else. He is deprived and yet
not unhappy because he does not
know what he is missing. Only his
father, who remembers the "good
old days," is in pain.
This sums up our situation.
Now is the beginning of the three
weeks. We are supposed to mourn
for the destruction of the Temple,
for the once proud and confident
people of God; but we don't even
understand what it means. We
are like that child growing up in
Siberia.
On the day before the ninth of
Av, a rabbi was addressing his
students. He was delivering a pro-
found lecture. A new student,
overwhelmed with the material,
said, "With all due respect, I don't
relate to even one word of what
you have been speaking about.
How can I mourn over the de-
struction of the Temple when I
don't even relate to what you are
saying?"
The rabbi responded with, 'To-
morrow is the ninth of Av and you
may not have the time to get the
answers you need to understand.
If you cannot use the day to mourn
for the destruction of the Temple,
then you should use the day to
mourn for the destruction of our
people.
"Mourn the fact that we cannot
even connect to one of the most ba-
sic and important concepts of Ju-
daism: the place of the Temple in
our lives." ❑