MAKE THIS YOUR YEAR.
Get Into A Corvette.
JFS's Window's program, which
In the three years Rabbi Amy
not only deals with spousal abuse Brodsky has been at Temple
but also counsels victims of child Emanu-El, no one has talked to
abuse, sexual assault and incest, her about a domestic-violence sit-
sees the upcoming Stocker Lec- uation.
ture as a means of helping
Rabbi Arnie Sleutelberg
women believe they don't have to of Congregation Shir Tikvah
deal with domestic violence with- can count on one hand the
out help.
number of times someone
Rabbinical students at the has spoken to him about do-
Jewish Theological Seminary of mestic violence during his 10-
America in New York also are year career.
learning about domestic-violence
"I'm simply not confronted by
situations. Last month, the sem- this issue," he said. "It's seldom
inary held a three-day conference that I hear about it and if I could
titled "Until Death Do Us Part." categorize the situations I've been
The first-time seminar was free made aware of, most are verbal
and open to the public.
abuse. Based on (domestic-vio-
"The purpose of this conference lence) statistics, there is un-
is to penetrate the shield of de- doubtedly more abuse than what
nial about domestic violence with- I am aware of."
in the Jewish community," said
Most victims will not turn to
Carol Davidson, coordinator of traditional places like a rabbi or
community outreach for the doctor because of a feeling of em-
Va'ad Gemilut Hasadim and a barrassment or denial.
graduating rabbinical student.
"I lived mostly in denial," said
"People don't need to become ex- Rebecca, who has been in the
perts in domestic abuse, but they Windows program since last De-
do have to know how to identify cember. "I always saw my role as
it and be able to know where to
go to seek help."
Nationally, caseworkers say
"People still don't
the O.J. Simpson murder trial
has increased America's aware- like to think we have
ness of such acts of violence. But,
those types of
have the effects of local efforts
cured Jews of their sense of im-
problems."
munity? Or is the community,
like many battered women, liv-
— Barbara Cook
ing in denial?
Those working in the Jewish
community, including rabbis, say the one who kept the family to-
some progress has been made but gether. I felt I could fix things and
gains are slow and modest.
thought I'd have to manage be-
`The people we have spoken to cause the children needed their
are open to hearing about do- father."
mestic violence, yet surprised to
Because Rebecca lost both her
hear it's in the Jewish communi- parents at a young age, she felt
ty," said NCJW's Barbara Cook. it was especially important to
"When they hear the percentages keep the family together for the
are the same in the Jewish corn- sake of her children.
munity as in the general com-
Nancy, also a Window's client,
munity, they are amazed. Yet, we came to the program asking case-
feel that because many groups workers to "teach me how to deal
are-interested in having domes- with my husband." Like Rebec-
tic-violence speakers, some ca, she thought she needed to
progress is being made. It's slow change to make things better.
and difficult, but it's there.
She believed her role as a Jewish
"We, as Jews, like to think of mother was to keep the family to-
ourselves as family oriented and gether.
we put a lot of pressure on our-
Only recently did Nancy's sis-
selves to be that way. People still ter learn about the violence.
don't like to think we have those
"I couldn't tell her," Nancy said.
types of problems, but they are "It was embarrassing. I was em-
open to learning."
barrassed I couldn't fix it. Maybe
With all the community out- that's part of the syndrome. Be-
reach, the number of clients seen sides, he had me convinced he
in the Windows program and the wasn't hitting me."
number of Safe Place users con-
Since coming to the program,
tinues to remain the same, ac- both women say they are making
cording to Ms. Hyman.
significant progress and are hope-
The program's caseload re- ful other women in abusive rela-
mains steady at about 60 clients tionships can find the courage to
and the number of women seek- get help. They also are hopeful
ing temporary shelter in Safe the community will understand
Place has increased slightly, but Jews are affected by domestic vi-
the facility still is not being used olence.
to capacity. Its operators hope to
'Tye learned to love myself over
change that pattern.
the last year and a half," Rebecca
One place women still don't said. "I'm healing. Not all my
seem to be going for help is their days are good and wonderful,
rabbis. Local rabbis said few con- but I'm part of life and it's ex-
gregants confide in them.
citing." LI
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