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Caregivers Learn To Listen
To Survivors, Even In Silence
ELIZABETH APPLEBAUM ASSOCIATE EDITOR
y the end of the tour
Jacqueline Tarnow could
barely speak. The whole
experience was indescrib-
able, she said. The horror of it all.
Mrs. Tarnow was one of 60
Hospice and JFS workers who
last week toured the Holocaust
Memorial Center in West Bloom-
field. The purpose of the program,
organized by Hospice of South-
eastern Michigan and the Jew-
ish Family Service, was to help
caregivers understand the com-
plex issues facing Holocaust sur-
vivors as they near the end of
their lives.
"We've found from our own ex-
perience that when people get old
and frail the losses and depriva-
tions they've had in the past come
back to haunt their final resolu-
tions and color their end," said
JFS associate executive director
Margaret Weiner.
"Some survivors realize they
have spent most of their lives do-
ing just that: surviving," added
Rabbi E.B. Freedman, director of
Jewish Hospice Services. "Then,
as they face the ultimate end,
they find they have to focus and
almost relive the entire experi-
ence (of the Holocaust)." Often,
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their only answer is silence.
"My goal is to help them (nurs-
es and social workers) under-
stand what trauma these
patients have been going
through," Rabbi Freedman said.
"Then they will be better care-
givers."
The majority of those at the
training program were gentile.
Most knew only a little about the
Holocaust.
The morning began outside
with a stop at the HMC's Garden
of the Righteous, which honors
those who risked their lives, and
often the lives of their families, to
help Jews. There is a heavy stat-
ue of black, reflecting the mono-
lith of Nazi evil, with a narrow
gold streak representing the
righteous. As the docent spoke of
Raoul Wallenberg, the Swedish
diplomat who issued hundreds of
"passports" to European Jews in
an effort to help them escape, one
woman moved to the side. Her
eyes filled with tears.
Divided into several small
groups, the workers went inside.
About 20 men and women hud-
dled near the front as the docent
began the tour. She told how
Jews were issued numbers be-
cause numbers were easier to
murder. As the group stood qui-
etly, projected black-and-white
drawings of Jews on their way to
the death camps draped, like a
sheer blanket, across their backs.
One of a number of HMC dis-
plays, the moving images feature
a woman with her child and a
young girl, her hand on her
cheek.
As the group descended down
the dark halls, one woman lin-
gered at a display showing a
death-camp uniform and a yel-
low star worn by Jean Kulmre-
ich of Paris, who died at
Auschwitz in 1942. The star is
still in remarkably good condi-
tion.
The Rev. Robert Werenski, be-
reavement case manager for Hos-
pice's North Oakland team, has
visited Yad Vashem and studied
Hebrew at Hebrew Union College
in Cincinnati. He spent a long
time looking at the displays. He
called the tour a good start in
helping those who did not survive
the Holocaust understand the
horror. Even those who knew
nothing of World War II could not
help but feel the weight of histo-
ry, "the anguish of the spirit and
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•
5oor Covering Pus,_ Inc.
2258 Franklin Road, Bloomfield Hills, MI 48302
1 block East of Telegraph, North of Square Lake Road
(810)
332-9430
Mon. & Wed. 9-7, Tue., Thur. & Fri. 9-6, Sat. 9-3
* previous orders excluded
JFS and Hospice caregivers at the HMC.