At Harper, Low Price
is a Design Element.

Natuzzi LEATHER

(ALL LEATHER)

Three piece sectional as shown
Compare at $3850.00

NOW $1995.00

545-3600

• Living room • Family room

HARPER

FURNITURE

The Comparison Shopper — Buys At Harper

916 N. Main, Royal Oak, N. of 11 Mile Rd.
Hours: Tues., Wed., Sat. - 10-5
Mon., Thur., Fri. - 10-8

• Dining room • Bedroom

•
41111111, .41111111111111116.

1995 J30

1995 Q45

Auto trans., dual airbags, stereo/cass/CD, pwr. windows,
pwr. locks, pwr. mirrors, air, ABS, anti-theft system, cruise,
tilt, r. defroster, alloy wheels & more!

Automatic, dual airbags, stereo/cass., pwr. windows, pwr.
locks, pwr. mirrors, air cond., ABS, anti-theft system, r.
defroster, tilt, cruise, alloy whls. & more!

4 Year/60,000 Mile Warranty

4 Year/60,000 Mile Warranty

GOOD page 4

not good for the Jews. Despite be-
ing a Shabbat staple for cen-
turies, this slow-cooked stew is a
culinary pogrom, producing
enough gas to cause another
2,000 years of Jewish suffering.
* On the other hand, call wait-
ing is very good for the Jews.
Face it, Jews hate to wait, and
we like to interrupt in the mid-
dle of a conversation.
* Air travel? Bad for the Jews.
It's confining, you're never able
to relax in the bathroom; and the
food they serve is lousy and in
such small portions. Worse, your
life is totally in gentile hands.
* Newt Gingrich is good for the
Jews. Not because he's pro-Israel,
but because he's the locus for
every smarmy impulse and re-
flex this country has. If he can
override Bill Clinton's vetoes, the
result could be a Jewish paranoia
that will raise our community to
a singular level of unity.
* Cable News Network. Also
good for the Jews. It made Wolf
Blitzer a household name.
Once you've determined
what's good for the Jews, you
have to factor in flux. Things
change. Some things that were
good for the Jews yesterday are
bad for the Jews today. Poland,
for example.
Other things are good for the
Jews but didn't used to be. After
years of insensitivity and out-
right hostility, the Rev. Jesse
Jackson recently began a cam-
paign of outreach to improve
black-Jewish relations. As a re-
sult, the man remembered for
calling New York "Hymietown"
could well become good for the
Jews.
A well-known subset, and one
that often eclipses "Is it good for
the Jews," is "Is it good for Is-
rael?" The Iran-Iraq War was
good for Israel. Miss Manners is
potentially very good for Israel.
What often goes unacknowl-
edged is the fact that not every-
thing that is good for Israel is
good for the Jews. The aspirate
sound khhh is a winner in the
Jewish state, but leaves Ameri-
can Jews feeling woefully inade-
quate. Jonathan Pollard has
provoked a similar reaction.
It's taken hundreds of years of
Jewish exile and powerlessness
to evolve antennae sensitive
enough to determine what is
good for the Jews. Despite our
relative security nowadays, it
never hurts to exercise our an-
tennae. So consider which of the
following suggests catastrophe
for the Jews:
A) Hillary Clinton distances
herself from Michael Lerner.
B) Amanda is kidnapped by Is-
lamic Jihad while in a hot tub
with Michael.
C) Peace breaks out in the
Middle East.
D) All of the above.
You picked D, didn't you?
Thought so. Pass the sweet and
sour sauce.

❑

