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Recent news reports that Queen
Esther's Persian name was Jenny
Craig have been discredited.

tremes, but a precarious balance. One day a year
we can be at our most solemn. On another we
can look forward to extreme frivolity. During the
rest of the year, we manage the best we can.
As Detroit Jewry struggles with its real is-
sues, maybe we ought to remember that it's not
all Yom Kippur. It's not all Purim either. But
that sure would be fun.

The Process Of
Hillel's Decision

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About 100 Hillel parents heard reports on a frigid
Tuesday night that it might not be in the school's
best interest to accept developer Jay Kogan's $5
million gift at this time. The decision remains
under study.
It's almost a joke among the community of vol-
unteers and professionals in fund-raising ca-
pacities that if Hillel "doesn't want the money,
send them to us." Or, "we'll move to Muskegon
for $5 million." •
The very fact that Hillel isn't rushing into the
acceptance of the gift, which has as a condition
the school's relocation to the JCC's Maple/Drake
campus, indicates a process of responsibility.
There are several key issues at hand, among
them concern on the part of many parents that
a move to Maple-Drake places the school out of
reach. Hillel officials also must examine the real
possibility of a fund shortfall should the school
make such a move.

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Then there's another angle. What message is
Hillel sending to those in a position of giving gen-
erous gifts?
If anything, Hillel would be sending a mes-
sage to givers that the priority of parental input
is essential and appropriate. Too many schools
all over North America have accepted loans and
gifts on the board level and find themselves
mired in endless debt and lowering of expecta-
tions. What typically happens, then, is the local
federation is asked to come up with solutions.
That translated means millions in bailout mon-
ey.
Nobody wants to turn his back on $5 million.
Nobody is saying that is what Hillel will do.
But the debate is still alive. Hillel officials are
doing the right thing, so that when the final de-
cision is made, it will be one of the school, not a
few.

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73

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SECURITY

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Purim Punditry

sands of strangely dressed Jews will flock to De-
troit-area synagogues to hear the Book of Esther
and smack into each other while dancing.
To get serious for a moment = after all, it's
an editorial — it's no coincidence that Purim
marks the half-year mark since Yom Kippur,
our holiest day of the year. Some commentators
note that you can't have one without the other,
kind of like chicken soup and noodles. It's be-
cause, as Judaism teaches, life is not made of ex-

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For those brave enough to look, you will find our
annual Purim spoof on page 28 of this issue. Se-
rious people beware: This week, no one and noth-
ing is sacred. As you peruse our inverted view
of the world, we offer some advice: Laugh a lit-
tle. It couldn't hurt.
You see, Purim is all about having a good time.
Since at least the second century C.E., Jewish
communities have used Purim to make fun of
themselves and everything else. Men are allowed
to wear women's clothes. Adults are entitled to
a shot-or-six of schnapps. Of course, some peo-
ple enjoy this behavior all year long.
Many Detroiters have been gearing up for
Purim. Some have been sending mishloach man-
ot, packages of food and gifts, to friends and the
needy. Others will fast from sunrise until sun-
set on Wednesday, March 15, commemorating
the Fast of Esther. Our Purim story's heroine
didn't eat before asking the king to repeal his
death penalty against all Jews. Recent news re-
ports that Esther's Persian name was Jenny
Craig have been discredited.
Finally, when someone turns off the sun on
Wednesday evening, Purim will be here. Thou-

"Atirr A tar
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Editor's Notebook

What Do You Do When
Strangers Ask For Cash

PHIL JACOBS EDITOR

Had an experience
I need help figur-
ing out.
Finished study-
ing at a Jewish fa-
cility where
learning is held
near and dear.
Putting on my
coat, a man started a conversation.
Never saw him before, but that was
OK.
He spoke with Yiddish in his
voice. He delivered a message of
despair. Something about an adult
daughter whose husband was se-
riously ill. There were children.
Could I, would I help out in some
way?
Caught by surprise, I reacted the
way I do when I'm panhandled.
Said in a mumble that I didn't re-
ally have the money on me.
Couldn't look him straight in the
eye after that. I put on my coat and
got out of there.
Not 10 minutes prior, I had been
learning just one of the many mes-
sages of the Torah. Now, I was run-
ning away from a person who
expressed a need. Not only that, I
felt resentment that this person
caught me by surprise.
How many of us had the expe-
rience of going to the Western Wall,
the Kotel, in Israel? This is an op-
portunity for many of us that our
parents, grandparents and past
generations only dreamed of We
get to the plaza at the Wall. We're
anticipating the moment well ac-
tually touch it and pray before it.
But before we get there, we're
asked time and time again for mon-
ey from people in need. Sure, it's
our responsibility to help the poor.
Yet it can be annoying to stop and
give out money to people, especially
with the Wall so close.
Some of us have had the expe-
rience of giving what we had in our
pocket to a person in need, and
then to have them almost roll their
eyes, that the $1 or $5 was not
enough.
There are so many issues here.
It's difficult for someone to swallow
their last ounce of pride and ask
a complete stranger for help. Yet

our skeptical side sometimes sends
up a red flag of doubt and mistrust.
I've been advised by professionals
in the business of charity that it's
always better to give money to
agencies such as Federation, Yad
Ezra or any charity of your choice.
These groups do an unending job
of taking care of Jews in need.
I was once walking on Con-
necticut Avenue in Washington,
D.C., when a well-dressed woman
in a business suit and briefcase
picked me out in a crowd and said,
"Can you give me a dollar? I have
no money and it's important that
I have a dollar." I reached without
hesitation into my pocket and
handed it to her. Again, I was tak-
en by complete surprise. I don't
know why I reacted the way I did.
Maybe the placement of a Jew
with his hand out is most appro-
priate at a synagogue or even at
the Western Wall. A person's per-
sonal need usually isn't planned,
it's typically unexpected. Maybe
because it's not glamorous, it's not
clean or convenient, that's why we
look away.
If there's such thing as glamour
in giving, we know it's more fun to
give to a shiny new building and
even get your name on a page of an
ad book. That's worthwhile giving,
but it's also pretty clean.
Looking a person straight in the
eye who isn't representing a yeshi-
va or a children's home, but instead
is probably fronting for himself or
his family, is often a picture that
isn't clean. But if the need is real,
it requires much more courage to
even ask. It's more personal, and
therefore harder to face, to listen
and to talk to.
But at a synagogue, at the Ko-
tel or even at my own front door?
Yes, it happens that way. But, boy
I still don't understand the eti-
quette.
Now, my hand is out to you.
What do you do for unplanned
charity? Write this column at
27676 Franklin Rd., Southfield,
MI 48076 or FAX us at 810-354-
606911