S HMOOZE
IT? IT'S NOT REAL, SO NO CALLS."
The Jewish Shmooze and GEOFF
(Giving Every Ounce For Federation)
is proud to announce
the co-sponsorship of another heart-warming,
wonderful community event where you are most likely to see the same
25 people you've seen every other time you've participated.
A guaranteed cheap two hours to kill with the kids.
No Kidding
Striking Maccabi athletes say they're not going to
compete, so replacements are waiting in the wings.
STEVE STEIN A REAL SPORT
1. "How To Get Your Children Up In The Morning"
Dr. Chaim Gettup will be speaking on this topic that is at the very heart of Jewish sur-
vival. 3 p.m. Sunday at the JPM.
2. "When The Cleaning Lady Calls In Sick"
True life stories retracing the trauma that leads to displaced Jewish homemakers from Oak
Park to West Bloomfield who find themselves in rubber gloves once again. Facilitation by
Shoshanna Klenzer, MSW. 3:01 p.m. Sunday at the JPM.
3. "Zohar And The Swim Club."
How to go to the swim club this summer without ever getting into the water. Panel Discus-
sion. 2:59 p.m. Sunday at the JPM.
***There will be no discussions on intermarriage, assimilation or continuity. There will also be no
face painting or clowns for the children. Admission: you better believe it.****
On The Seventh Day, We Rested
Yes, there were beautiful photos that were shot by all of you that didn't make it into the Jewish
Shmooze keepsake "Dazed In October." Here are two of them:
Miracle Mission 29:
Horsin' Around
Participants in the
Detroit Federation's
29th Miracle Mission
did not use planes this
year direct from Metro
to Israel. Instead,
because new ideas are
difficult to come by,
Federation has
announced that
Mission participants
will ride by horseback
for most of the trip.
Impossible? That's
why it's called the
"miracle" mission this
year.
Udder Success:
Thousands of Jewish
Detroiters come together
in a spirit of togetherness
to build the Harry and
Jeannette Weinberg
Biblical Cow. The cow,
built on the grounds of the
JPM-JCC, was built by
the public, but will be
available to JCC
members only.
Push has come to shove for Maccabi athletes.
aging their demands have
not been met, Maccabi ath-
letes from across the coun-
try announced today they
are on strike and they will not at-
tend this summer's Jewish Com-
munity Centers Maccabi Youth
Games unless the dispute is re-
solved.
"You have to remember that
we can only compete in the Mac-
cabi Games when we're between
the ages of 12 and 16, so we have
to get everything we can during
those years," said Detroit athletes
spokesperson Rose Aza. "When
we turn 17, we're done. We've got
to get a life."
Detroit delegation head I.M.
Incharge said if Detroit athletes
fail to go to the Houston and Los
Angeles games in August, re-
placements will be sent in their
place.
"Forgot the age limits ... if
they're Jewish, we'll send 'em,"
Mr. Incharge said. "I know a lot
of people who would love to take
a vacation from work or the kids
to go to Houston or Los Angles in
the middle of the summer to
sweat in the heat and humidity
... no, to enjoy themselves."
The Maccabi athletes want:
— To select their host families.
— VCRs and video games at
all host homes.
— Kosher fast-food outlets
within walking distance of all
host homes.
— Malls and/or arcades with-
in walking distance of all host
homes.
— To select their roommates.
— To select their team uni-
forms.
— To trade not just pins, but
athletes too.
— Fewer athletic events and
more all-night parties.
— Live and Smashing Pump-
kins at the opening ceremonies.
— Green Day and Nine Inch
Nails at the closing ceremonies.
— Mandatory birth certificate
checks for Israeli athletes.
— To be able to veto stories in
Jewish newspapers which de-
scribe how a reporter covering the
Maccabi Games met someone
with the same name.
A few Maccabi delegations (es-
pecially in the New York area)
have had some of these demands
in place for many years.
`They can't control themselves,
so we're going to do it for them,"
Ms. Aza said.
Negotiations between the ath-
letes and Maccabi delegation
heads, which have been held off
and on, will resume in June after
the athletes' bargaining team is
out of school. 0
Who wants to fill these shoes?