Being Jewish Is No

haron Levine was driving through not sending their children to Israel, religious
farmland in Novi last summer when school, day school and camp is tantamount shul," Ms. Faber says. "In six months, he
she spotted an open-air vegetable to foregoing a long-term investment with stopped driving on Shabbos. He was no
longer working on Saturdays. We were no
sale. There were ripe tomatoes, heavy-duty dividends.
longer
answering the phones.
beans and cucumbers. But what
"The real question," says Southfield at-
"This was great for him," she says. "But it
caught her eye were the cornstalks. torney Paul Magy, "is what's the cost of not
was horrible for me."
Ms. Levine drove up, parked the being Jewish?"
Ms. Faber greeted this turn toward tradi-
car and asked the farmer for the
With four children, the Magy family tion — and the expense that accompanied it
price of a bundle. Two dollars and spends about 20 percent of its household in-
fifty cents. Most people bought the come on Jewish education and related ex- — with scorn. A $500 sukkah? Hundreds
stalks later in the year for Hal- penses. Three of the Magy children attend more for tefillin?
"I resented the cost of everything," she
loween celebrations, he said.
Hillel Day School in Farmington Hills. An- says.
Ms. Levine had a different idea. other 10 percent of their income goes to syn-
Then, in the early 1990s, a family death
At $7.50 a bundle, evergreen agogue membership and Jewish charities.
played
a large role in transforming Ms.
branches had made the cost of cov-
"The reality is, day-school education is ex-
ering her family's already prohibi- pensive, but to some people, a Torah edu- Faber's attitude.
Her mother had lung cancer, a disease
tive $750 sukkah even more cation is not an optional thing," he says. "I
expensive. Using cornstalks would want my kids to get a good education and a from which people typically suffer in agony.
save more than $50 each fall, so she grounding in Jewish values, reinforcing what Ms. Faber says she prayed hard that her
mother would die in comfort and with dig-
asked the farmer to set aside 10 bundles.
they get at home. In part, it's a selfish mo- nity.
"It's the little things like that you have to tive. I want to make sure I have Jewish
It happened in December 1992. Her moth-
budget for," she says.
grandchildren."
er
did not suffer. Ms. Faber's sister-in-law
Indeed, Ms.Levine and her family budget
For Mr. Magy, the issue also abounds with had given birth only hours before and her
to be Jewish, and they're not the only ones. global implications.
mother was able to see photographs of the
With the high cost of Jewish living, many
"The cost of not spending Jewishly really
other families watch pennies to provide re- amounts to putting the Jewish people at newborn grandchild. Ms. Faber's father was
ligious and cultural experiences for them- risk," he says. "It just helps the predictions at the bedside when her mother peacefully
closed her eyes and passed away.
selves and their loved ones.
of sociologists come true."
"For the whole year prior to my mother's
Consider some of the costs. Synagogue or
death, I hated God and I hated this Ortho-
temple membership often runs an annual
dox bit," she says. "I hated all of it. Prior to
$1,100 or more per family, plus an average
that, the thought of pulling my children out
$1,500 payable over several years to the con-
of public school and paying $10,000 a year
gregation's building fund.
for a day-school education was, 'Oh, don't
Add to that payments for religious school,
even start with me.' "
bar/bat mitzvah classes, parties, confirma-
But when her mother died with dignity,
tions, weddings ...
— Paul Magy Ms. Faber began to think her prayers had
Ketubahs, chuppahs, challah covers. Don't
been heard. The family subsequently enrolled
forget the brit, spice box, seder plates and
the
children in Hebrew day school, and now
yarmulkes, tefillin, talleisim, Havdalah can-
iriam and Dror Maor of Oak Park Karyn willingly spends about $150 each week
dles, sheytls. The list goes on... And on... And
consider the more than $400 they
on Shabbat meals. The Fabers invite friends
on. (See related story: Price Tags.)
spent on mezuzah scrolls a better over to the house to share in their day of rest.
Many metro Detroiters say they cannot
deal than house insurance. Accord-
"The reality is, I have found a lot of won-
afford to send all their children to Hebrew ing to Jewish teachers, a kosher mezuzah on
day schools, even with scholarships and slid- every doorpost assures the well-being of one's derful people because of this, and whatever
needs to be spent is well-spent," she says.
ing fee scales. Others have decided against home and those who live inside of it.
Expenses don't just run high in tradition-
joining the Jewish Community Center be-
Karyn Faber was aghast when her hus-
al
households.
At the Birmingham Temple,
cause, for the time being, their money is go- band, Mark, spent $65 a piece for 13 mezu-
ing toward bar and bat mitzvah preparations. zot. She grew up in a Reform household and a Humanistic Jewish congregation, Rabbi
Will they pledge a bit more this year to the was accustomed to one mezuzah on her fam- Sherwin Wine says he spends thousands of
dollars annually on books. His congregants,
Allied Jewish Campaign?
ily's front door.
while
not keeping kosher, purchase foods and
Next year. Promise. After the daughter's
Ms. Faber's irritation mounted as her hus-
other items for Jewish simchahs. They, too,
wedding.
band became more observant. In the late
Some Jews borrow to carry on tradition. 1980s, he began walking to Congregation invest large sums of money — and time —
in Jewish education, as well as Jewish char-
The Hebrew Free Loan Association has been Shaarey Zedek.
ities,
he says.
granting interest-free loans to Jews in metro
One snowy day in the winter of 1988, Dr.
There are ways to cut down on the cost
Detroit for nearly 100 years. Among other Faber attended Orthodox Shabbat services
things, the loans help people afford chuppahs at Young Israel of Southfield. It was too cold, of being Jewish. Many Orthodox and more
traditional Conservative Jewish women buy
and bar mitzvah suits.
he figured, to trek all the way to Shaarey
Shabbat candles in bulk. They buy kosher
Many Jews consider their endless laun- Zedek.
grape juice on sale.
dry list of expenditures an integral part of
"Whatever he felt he was missing in reli-
their daily lives. They staunchly believe that gion, he discovered when he walked into that
BEING JEWISH

"The real question is,
what's the cost of
not being Jewish?"

M

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