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Let's Plan A Wedding
/ t was the late-night phone call every par-
ent of a daughter fears — won't come.
"I'm engaged," she shrieked over the
long-distance wires. We were thrilled, re-
lieved, ecstatic.
"We want a small, intimate wedding
no fuss," she said. We were even more
thrilled, relieved, ecstatic.
We met with the bridegroom's parents.
"The children want a small, intimate wed-
ding — no fuss," I repeated. They nodded
in agreement and handed us a list of
150 people.
"Don't worry, all our relatives live
in California," they assured us. "They
never come east. We haven't seen
them in years."
And our family is scattered about
the country in retirement commu-
nities. Unfortunately they are on in
years, infirm and never travel. They
couldn't possibly attend.
In the three months since the en-
gagement was announced, the West
Coast contingency has decided it is
time to renew family ties. They plan
to do so at the wedding.
Furthermore, when the happy
news reached our family, it was like
a visit to Lourdes. They became re-
juvenated, tore up their Medicare
cards, signed up for disco lessons and
began making plans to boogie the night
away.
Therefore, we will be forced to send out
invitations to the wedding on a rolling ad-
missions basis, similar to college acceptances.
As soon as the first refusals come in, the sec-
ond batch of invitations go out. The third
string will be invited no less than two weeks
before the event.
In addition, there will be a wait-list letter.
It will go like this:
Dear Aunt Gertrude and Uncle Bill:
Although we cannot offeryou a place at the
72 • BRI DES 1995 • STYLE
wedding at this time we are pleased to be able
to inform you that the wedding committee has
voted to place your names on the waiting list.
Unfortunately, the total number of guests ex-
ceeds the places available.
However, there are always last-minute
withdrawals; therefore, we have established
an Invitational Wait List from which to fill
these vacancies.
We regret we cannot make a &finite com-
mitment at this time, but you'll hear from us
just as soon as we have information to report.
Your loving niece and nephew.
The invitations themselves require a bit
of decision making. It seems there is a huge
variety of sizes, shapes and scripts, with and
without response cards, direction cards, re-
ception cards, the bride's parents' names
and family crest.
The crest does not pose a problem, as my
grandfather dropped it somewhere between
Minsk and Pinsk as he was fleeing the Cos-
sacks; and it has yet to be found.
The bridal party of our small, intimate
By Roberta Graff
wedding keeps growing. At the moment it
includes the bride, bridegroom, eight brides-
maids, a maid and matron of honor, eight
ushers, a best man, a flower girl and a ring
bearer. They have all selected their attire
— all, that is, except the bride.
After visiting 40 salons in three states, she
has found the right bodice with the wrong
sleeves, the right train with the wrong neck-
line and the right skirt in the wrong fabric.
We're hoping that in the next few weeks
we'll find the right bodice, sleeves,
train, neckline, skirt and fabric — in
one dress.
In addition, an extremely enter-
prising group of individuals has been
calling. offering their assistance in
making our small, intimate wedding
"an affair to remember." Photogra-
phers have suggested video, stereo,
color, black and white candids, formal
and assorted-sized albums. Florists
have proposed baskets, garlands, ar-
bors and trellises, as well as bouquets,
nosegays, boutonnieres and flower-
draped Bibles.
Musicians have put forward a choice
of bands, orchestras, trios and duos;
and the caterer has come up with plans
for (1) the bride and groom in spun
sugar as a cake decoration, (2) the bride
and groom in shaved ice as a bar sculp-
ture, (3) the bride and groom in chopped
liver as an hors d'oeuvre.
Every few days, my daughter calls from
law school to inquire about the plans for her
small, intimate wedding.
"How's it going, Mom?" she asks. "Any
questions?"
Thrilled to be involved with the prepa-
ration of this joyous event, I respond,
"Wonderful, darling, just wonderful," nev-
er daring to ask the one question in the back
of my mind: Doesn't anyone elope any-
more? 11