RUTH LITTMANN
STAFF WRITER

dist poetry, but clarifies: "I'm no bookworm."
Last Thanksgiving, he joined contemporaries at
a Federation dance. Sporting casual wear and rec-
ognizing no one, he entered the Birmingham Com-
munity House alone.
"I didn't expect people to say, 'Oh my God! There's
the new guy. Let's talk to him.' This is a big city. You
can't tell someone is new just by looking at him.
"I was basically there to check out the crowd," he
says. "I was curious and I had nothing to lose by
going."
Mr. von Gonten hung out until midnight. He had
a drink, chatted with a few people and eventually
bumped into an acquaintance from one of his for-
mer stomping grounds, Minneapolis.
Mr von Gonten doesn't predict that his social life
will blossom overnight. He works more than 55
hours a week at Investaid, a direct mortgage group.
"I'd like to get involved in different aspects of Fed-
eration, social and volunteering," he says. "But right
now, work comes first. That's why I moved here."
With a husband and two children, Robin Kauf-
man seeks out different venues to make herself feel
at home. The Kaufman relocated to suburban De-
troit from New Jersey in the spring of 1993.
"People have this impression that Detroit is a
big, scummy, unredeemable city," she says. "We
found that that's not entirely true."
Scouting out Motown's downtown, the Kaufmans
admired the city's architecture. And the suburbs?
They were a culture shock.
"Within a week after we moved here, the lady
who bagged our groceries knew my children by
name," she says.
Neighbors brought over cakes and cookies.
"In New Jersey and New York City, people are
afraid to be friendly because they're afraid to in-
trude," she says. "Here, I don't think people are
nearly as much on their guard, and I like it that
way, especially having to raise two little kids."
The Kaufman children, Mitchell, 5, and Dori,
3, have made friends at Congregation Shaarey
Zedek's Beth Hayeled nursery school. Their par-
ents have expanded their social circle through new-
corners' clubs, folk music
groups, Shalom Detroit and
Robin Kaufman with
Shaarey Zedek.
In addition to serving on
children Dori and
Shaarey Zedek's library com-
mittee, Ms. Kaufman is trying Mitchell: "Within a week
to organize a moms-and-tots after we moved here, the
club through Shalom Detroit.
"Moms can chat and give
lady who bagged our
each other child-rearing advice
groceries knew my
while their toddlers have a
good time," she says.
children by name."