Family/ amp

Jan and Marvin Wanetick have limited
time to spend with their three children.

PHOTO BY GLENN TRIEST

Two Full Time Jobs

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How working
parents
manage the
juggling act.

MARCIA DANNER

SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH NEWS

o much to do, so little
S time.
Trying to meet job
and family obliga-
tions, working par-
ents often feel like
they're being pulled at
both ends. They want
to spend as much time as possi-
ble with their children.
To do so, they line up reliable
help and back-up support for
child care and pay for services
that will free them up from time-
consuming chores. For some, the
concession is stepping off the fast
track and taking a career path
that is more compatible with par-
enthood.
Dual-career couples in differ-
ent fields and with children at
various ages handle the balanc-
ing act in their own way.
Taking care of 2-year-old twins
is a juggling act any parent would
find challenging. Jan and Mar-
vin Wanetick of Southfield, who
have three daughters, Sala, 6,
and Francine and Natalie, both

2, have latched onto a support
system that helps them maintain
their sanity and keep their fam-
ily life, home and dual careers in-
tact.
Ms. Wanetick says it takes a
lot of organization and help —
both regular and back-up sup-
port. They hired a full-time baby
sitter who arrives at 7:30 a.m.
and is there until 5:30 p.m. on
weekdays. They also appreciate
that she sits for them every Sat-
urday night.
Ms. Wanetick is a special-ed-
ucation vocational arts teacher
at Helen Field Learning Center
in Detroit. After working all day
with mentally impaired teen-
agers, she comes home to two en-
ergetic toddlers and a
first-grader. The burden is heav-
ier on Wednesday and Thursday
nights, when her husband, a
claims representative for Social
Security, takes classes toward a
master's degree.
"Sometimes it seems like I
don't have a minute to myself and

don't get to sit down until after 9
p.m. Some things go by the way-
side, because I'm too tired to clean
or I'd rather spend time with the
kids," said Ms. Wanetick. "But for
the most part, we manage well."
With one child, the Waneticks
took Sala to day-care. But when
the twins came along, in-home
care was the only feasible and
practical way to go. Some days,
Ms. Wanetick could be home as
early as 4 p.m., but uses the af-
ter-school time to make stops and
do errands that are too hard to do
with three kids in tow. Having
coverage until 5:30 p.m. gives her
a transition period to unwind
when she walks in the door and
time with the kids while the baby
sitter prepares dinner.
The juggling act for Mandy
Garver and Allen Wolf of Hunt-
ington Woods requires balancing
kids, aging parents and corporate
careers. Both are employed by
Ford Motor Co. in labor relations;
he works in powertrain opera-
tions at the Rouge office building

and she is in employee relations
at world headquarters in Dear-
born.
They have two children, Riv-
ka Garver, 11, and Daniel Wolf,
8. Last August, Ms. Garver's fa-
ther went into a nursing home
and her 82-year-old mother, who
suffers from memory loss, came
to live with them. At about the
same time, Ms. Garver was pro-
moted to a new job.
"Right now, Allen's hours are
a little better than mine," said
Ms. Garver, who is in a time-in-
tensive job. "It takes two of us
participating in the child care and
a lot of outside help to make it
work. What has gone in our favor
is that when one of us has had a
peak period at work, the other
has been in a more stable posi-
tion and able to cover the home
front."
As their summer au pair
arrangement came to end, the
couple interviewed applicants
who could do child care, elder
care, transportation and meal
preparation Their choice, Martha
Gray, said she didn't cook, but
with some kitchen training has
done very well. Ms. Garver
taught her how to keep kosher
and leaves her a shopping list,
menus and instructions.
Ms. Gray comes in at 7:15 am.,
gets the kids ready for school and
drives them to and from Hillel
Day School and extracurricular
activities. While they are in
school, she cares for Ms. Garver's
mother and takes her to visit her
husband at the nursing home.
She prepares dinner and stays at
the Garver/Wolf household until
the first available parent comes
home and takes over.
What can be a hectic house-
hold during the work week be-
comes more relaxing Friday night
when the family gathers for
Shabbat.
"We try to keep Saturday open
and stress-free. We don't go out
as a couple. Right now, our week-
ends are devoted to family activ-
ities," Ms. Garver said. "We've
found increasingly over the years
that it is worth it to have help, to
pay for services."
This year, the juggling act is a
lot easier for Lisa and Jay
Welford of Farmington Hills, who
now have both kids in school full
time and at the same place.
Rachel, 7, is in second grade, and
Mindy, 5, is in all-day kinder-
garten at Hillel.
Although Mr. Welford, a bank-
ruptcy attorney for a Detroit law
firm, often puts in a 60-hour work
week, his wife, a pharmacist, has
a lighter and more flexible work