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EUGENE & MARCIA APPPLEBAUM
JEWISH PARENTING CENTER
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A SAMPLING OF WINTER/
SPRING CLASSES:
your home is a tranquil haven...
your children never argue...
If you never lose your temper...
If
■ Mensch Making—S.T.E.P.
■ Why We Stand, When We Sit
■ Child CPR
STOP READING HERE
If not...
■ Kitchen Table
The Jewish Parenting Center has
solutions and strategies for the
challenges that parenting presents.
Discover new answers to persistent
questions. Join your friends and
learn you are not in this alone.
■ Growing with the Kitchen Table
■ Post Natal Exercise
■ Parenting an Infant When You're
Over 35
■ Creative Kosher Cooking
■ Yours, Mine and Ours
ENROLLMENT OPEN TO THE COMMUNITY!
For the latest brochure of classes
call Ruth Beresh, Director
(810) 681-5353
Eugene & Marcia Applebaum Jewish Parenting Center
4200 Walnut Lake Road, West Bloomfield • FAX: (810) 681-4251
Top 10 Reasons To Get In
Gear With the Sfibuz at
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It's the Synagogue with an AFFORDABLE membership
plan for YOU!
Rabbi Herbert Yoskowitz joins Cantor Max Shimansky
and Reverend Joseph Baras.
C-1 On site religious school.
CI Youth programs.
C4
Two daily minyans.
Sisterhood, Men's Club, Young at Heart, Club Chayim,
and Singles.
Shabbat Dinners and Sit Down Kiddushes
Culture and Concerts.
Lunch and Learn, and Book Bites.
Rabbi Herbert Yoskowitz BEHIND THE WHEEL revving up
your SSW(
Fed
(centrally Located)
21100 West Twelve Mile Rd. Southfield • (810) 352-8670
A Helpful Guide For
First-Time Parents
NIKKI B. GODFREY SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH NEWS
irst-time parents antici-
pating the arrival of their
bundle of joy, whether by
birth or adoption, tend to
read, read and read some more.
Preparations are made. The nurs-
ery's furnished, diapers are
stacked, receiving blankets are
at the ready for swaddling and a
medical kit is stocked for any
baby emergency.
What is likely is that all the
parenting books in the world
cannot truly prepare new moms
and dads for the reality of arriv-
ing home with a wrinkled new
person who has turned partners
into parents and who depends
solely on them for survival.
As poet Sylvia Plath put it so
perfectly, new parents have
"boarded a train there's no get-
ting off."
And because baby doesn't come
with an owner's manual, it's easy
to fear the train careening down
the tracks out of control.
But while it's true that the first
three months are the roughest,
by shifting a few gears it can be
a smooth, enjoyable ride and the
most memorable beginning to the
incredible journey of family life.
One of the biggest gears to shift
is focus. It's understandable that
the baby becomes the center of
attention. But new moms need
themselves and their homes to be
cared for so they can take care of
the baby and recuperate from the
physical and emotional stress of
birth or the draining adoption
process.
The new mother's partner
should, ideally, be the primary
source of help. But new fathers
suffer as much shell shock from
the arrival as moms and it's un-
realistic to rely on them for every-
thing.
That's why it's so important for
even the most confident and in-
dependent new parent not to feel
guilty for asking family and
friends for help or arranging for
professional service to ease the
postpartum pressures.
A doula is a professional whose
Greek name means "caregiver of
the new mother." They are
knowledgeable not only in baby
care but primarily in postpartum
care of the mother and success-
ful breast-feeding.
Hospitals and women's centers
are a good source of referral for
doulas, who may also be listed in
the Yellow Pages under postpar-
tum services. The National As-
sociation of Postpartum Care
Services, P.O. Box 1012, Ed-
monds, WA 98020, telephone
(206) 672-8011, can also provide
a list of local doulas.
Friends will be eager to help,
so don't be afraid to be specific
about what you need, whether
it's running errands or doing gro-
cery shopping. If several friends
bring over ready-made meals
that can be frozen, then popped
in the microwave, you'll have
that many dinners you don't
have to worry about.
In the chaos and excitement
of the newborn's arrival, eating
properly and regularly may not
seem like a priority or a possi-
bility. But both parents need to
keep up their energy with a well-
balanced diet, especially breast-
feeding mothers.
The most likely people who
will want to help, and the ones
you probably feel most comfort-
able with are your own parents.
They'll probably use any excuse
to be close to their new grand-
child, even if it's simply watch-
ing you feed the baby while they
do your laundry or prepare
meals. They've been there and
can often offer sage advice, en-
couragement and reassurance,
and the payoff is grandma and
grandpa will be happy to hug
and hold the baby while mom
and dad snatch a well-deserved
nap.
Sleep is another important
gear that will shift, whether you
like it or not, and wise manage-
ment of sleep can be crucial to
your well-being and performance
as new parents, as well as the
well-being of your baby.
Most parents-to-be focus their
prenatal nightmares about
changes in sleep patterns on
waking up numerous times in
the night. The flip side is that,
especially in the first few weeks
home, you will need to recharge
often.
Remember that you are recu-
perating. Recent studies at the
University of Minnesota indicate
that postpartum recovery can
take up to a year and the early
weeks are important for a full,
healthy recovery. New moms
who think they don't need to nap
may find it backfires a few
weeks after bringing baby home
when exhaustion takes over.
By that time, many of the ini-
tial offers of help fizzle out and
many couples sigh with relief for
finally being left alone to absorb
their newborn. Others shift
gears into pure panic at being
handed the wheel of the train.
"Isolation, isolation, isolation.
It's a cause of major stress in a
new mother's life and a serious
problem," says Lorri Slepian, co-
founder of the National Associ-
ation of Mothers' Centers. ❑