HEALTH
Matters
Whooff Meow! Squeak!
PHOTO BY GLEN N TR IEST
Local pets comment on their healthy habits
Oh-So-
Kosher:
Guinea Pigs!
DETROIT J EWISH
These rodents wouldn't
dream ofa treife meal.
I131
MOISHE, 00GA AND G'LEEDA UTTMANN
SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH NEWS
e're not pigs and we're not
from New Guinea. It seems
like you humans are slightly
misguided, so let us set you
straight. We're rodents originally from
South America.
But, before we go on, let us introduce
ourselves. We're brothers. Pm Moishe, the
black one. Pm Ooga (brown and tan). And
W
I'm G'leeda, their caramel counterpart.
Our pet, Ruth, named us after her He-
brew vocabulary words: Moses, Cake and
Ice Cream. We think she's kind of crazy
(but don't tell her that).
Anyway, if some of you kids out there
in Detroit's Jewish community plan on
buying a guinea pig, we want you to know
a few important things about our eating
habits.
Numero uno: We don't eat meat. That's
right. No liver, no fish, no McDonald's
hamburgers. And, no pork. Blech.
addition to regular pet store food, we
lik fruits and vegetables. Feed us carrots
ven the leafy tops. Give us slices of ap-
ple and oranges. Mmmm.
u kids might not like purple beets,
but e do. Just make sure you thorough-
ly wash and dry these fresh delectables.
And please remove the leftovers each day.
There's nothing worse than a cage full of
decaying spinach. (And, oh boy, do we like
spinach, but only when it's fresh.)
Next, we hanker for hay. Hey, we're not
joking. Our stomachs need the fiber for
digestion. We suggest purchasing a few
haybells at your local pet supply
shop. Just make sure it's dry. The
wet stuff makes us sick.
Speaking of sick, Moishe al-
most died last month. He couldn't
move his hind feet. Just sort of
dragged himself around. Our pet,
Ruth, was really worried. She
rushed him to the veterinarian,
who diagnosed the problem as
scurvy.
Scurvy is a disease that sailors
used to get when they spent too
much time on boats and didn't eat
enough fresh fruits with vitamin
C. (That's why your mom always
tells you to drink your orange
juice, right?)
Humans, apes and guinea pigs
can get scurvy because they are
the only mammals that cannot
produce their own vitamin C. So,
whatever you do, supplement our
diets. You might consider buying
rodent vitamins from the pet
store. Mix them with our water.
We won't even,know!
And please, please, please
change our water every day. How
would you like to drink out of a
glass that's been standing for
more than 24 hours?
One last thing (but it's impor-
tant, so read on). Unlike human
beings, our teeth grow — long.
They can grow right through our
chins unless you give us guinea
pig chew toys. Veterinarians will
clip your pets' teeth if the chew toys don't
help. (How weird! An oral manicure!)
Aaah. It's a great feeling to tell human
beings about our expectations — espe-
cially when it comes to diet.
The fact of the matter is, we
used to be eaten rather than
fed. That's right. Way down
south in Peru, the Inca Indi-
ans domesticated us and ate
us for dinner.
Yuck. Does guinea pig stew
sound good to you?
Believe us, we make much
better pets. We're cute. We're
playful. We don't bite. So love
us, and we'll love you.
Love,
Moishe, Ooga and G'leeda
Littmann ❑
Above Left: Moishe, Ooga and
G'leeda would rather be fed than
eaten. Luckily, their pet, Ruth, has
become a vegetarian.
Right: Michelle and Sprite Faber.
Watch Out
For Us!!!
SPRITE FABER SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH NEWS
I
am Michelle Faber's silver tabby cat,
Sprite. Michelle is 11 years old and
attends Akiva Hebrew Day School.
She's a great friend, but I want to talk
about myself right now.
As a cat, I believe safety is very im-
portant. Pets rely on owners to take care
of us. We can't go to the vet and ask for
shots ourselves.
And we can't help it that we are ani-
mals and just want to roam sometimes.
About once a year, usually around Rosh
Hashanah. time, I escape from the Faber
household and run around the neigh-
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
L
eashes and shots are
key to the safety of
your pet
borhood. One time I got loose and was
gone for two days.
While I was on the prowl, I met up with
a skunk. Did you ever see the Pepe le Pew
cartoon? Well, I mistook her for a beau-
tiful cat and she mistook me for some cat
who liked her scent. It took three baths
in tomato juice and a trip to the veteri-
narian to get the smell out of my coat.
t the point is, it could have been