Salvador who can get you great
Does Harold, an unattached
male, feel desperate? No, he
says. Just a bit isolated — and
Who isn't? Being young, being
free, being single offer clear ad-
vantages. But being alone is the
pits for many young adults. In re-
cent months, the Jewish social
scene has shifted into overdrive
with monthly Jewish Federation
"bar nites" attracting hundreds
of singles to places like Birming-
ham's Old Woodward Grill.
Hillel of Metro Detroit, based
at Wayne State University, has
in the past year and a half wel-
comed non-students between the
ages of 18 and 30. Attendance at
its medley of monthly round-ups
A number of groups for Jewish
young adults offer outlets for
schmoozing, scoping and search-
ing for that special person. But,
despite these varied venues, some
singles contend it's hard to break
In a word, Joanie Berger, 26,
describes the Jewish social scene
as "polarized" between people
who grew up in town and people
who didn't. She didn't.
"(Natives) tend to mingle with
the people they knew from high
school or religious school," she
says. "As a person from another all the time, for years," she says.
city, I find it hard to meet people." "I felt like I saw the same peo-
The bar is not Ms. Berger's fa- ple all the time. Sometimes, it
vorite meeting ground. She was kind of depressing. I have to
prefers more structured activities say, it seemed that whenever I
like lectures and discussions — went looking for Mr. Right I'd get
"Someplace where you can re- upset."
So Pam quit looking. She at-
ally show who you are," she says.
Darryl Gurevitch is a single, tended events with her friends
29-year-old doctor who drags his and met people 'just to have fun."
friends to bar nites. Darryl has a Election Night 1992 was a snowy
evening in Detroit, so she
different take on the scene:
"My friends always say they go planned an early departure from
to these things and there's no one Federation's election fest for
for them, and I always say, 'Who young adults. Before making her
knows? Maybe someone will exit, they met.
Pam and Mr. Right (a.k.a.
bring their cousin.' "
Darryl doesn't have much time Michael Sherman) mar-
ried in 1993, and now Mrs.
for the lox-n-bagel circuit.
"You know the real reason I Right can offer three words
don't like to date a lot? It's be- of tried-and-true advice to
cause I don't have a lot of time to singles still on the lox-n-
go out. So when I do go out, I bagel circuit.
"Just have fun," she
want to make sure I have fun. So
says. "Just have fun."
I go out with friends," he says.
Sometimes, that's easi-
Dr. Darryl just might be on to
something. Take Pam Sherman er said than done. For sev-
of West Bloomfield, for instance. eral young adults, one
Pam started getting a bit dilemma is running into
queasy about being single when Xs — ex-boyfriends, ex-
she hit 30. Jewish events for girlfriends, ex-spousek De-
young adults had become a sta- troit's population of Jewish
ple in her social life and a verita- singles between ages 22
ble thorn in her side. After so and 40 numbers about
much exposure, so many shid- 2,000, according to Feder-
duchim, where was her Mr. ation's mailing list. (That's
a far cry from the 8,000
"I used to go to all the events, adult singles under 35 list-
ed with New York City's federa-
In small communities, gossip
runs thick. A dating "who's who"
often becomes the focus of con-
versations. For many, it seems
that alternatives to bumping into
old flames at local Jewish events
A. Praying that you don't
B. Staying home
C. Partying in Dryden Coun-
Miriam Starkman, a social
worker and director of Hillel of
Metro Detroit, has a better idea.
"Keep things casual," she says.
Opposite page, left,
Game playing: Meir Pal,
Renee Simlak, Lisa R. Cohen,
Randi Nudell and Robert Weine.
Opposite page, right,
The Federation's Young Adult Division
sponsors casual forums.
Many singles say they're happiest
recreating with friends.
Schmoozing: Tracy Hodes and