be entered capriciously or on a "let's see how it works" basis. A spouse, in Jewish tradition, is called a "best loving friend." However, Rabbi Yoskowitz at Beth Achim underscores the im- portance of first becoming a best loving friend to oneself. "Love thy neighbor as thyself' is often in- terpreted as a mandate for self- "Talk about values rather than likes and dislikes." — Rabbi Herbert Yoskowitz knowledge. It's impossible to know and love someone else be- fore knowing and loving oneself, the rabbi says. "I'm not talking about the clothes that distinguish me as being a doctor from a steel worker," he points out. "I'm talk- ing about getting to know who I am in terms of my priorities and values." But even mature couples with self-insight encounter trouble in marriage. When deep-seated problems develop, husbands and wives should do their utmost to work things out, Judaism teaches. Rabbi Nelson refers to a couple close to him who started filing for divorce, but proceedings became mired in red tape. Legal expenses skyrocketed along with frustra- tions. The couple exhausted themselves over the process of separation. "But their lawyers were very happy," the rabbi says. Finally, the husband and wife realized they were expending a lot of energy destroying their bond. They decided to redirect efforts toward resolving their dif- ferences constructively. "Now they're in the process of rebuilding," he says. "I see them together celebrating their re- ligious moments. They spend synagogue and Jewish time to- gether." Although each partner was an- gry and resentful, they took to heart a basic Jewish teaching: "There's original virtue," Rabbi Nelson says. "There's no such thing as original sin. The genius of Judaism is that you can re- cover from a mistake. It's a very optimistic faith." There's nothing like the look and feeling of beau- tiful new carpet to ease away your cares. And now, during Patcraft's Home Decorating Sale, you can add stylish new carpet to your favorite rooms and start enjoying the comfort and warmth you so wholeheart- edly deserve at the end of a long, hard day. Patcraft's wide variety of styles, textures and fashionable colors make selecting the perfect carpet to complement your decor a decorators dream come true. The sale savings you'll get during the Patcraft's Home Decorating Sale will help ease your cares away too. ON SALE $ 1 5 95 to $2995 PER SQUARE YARD INSTALLED INCLUDING PAD ❑ dews EEOC Withdraws Harassment Guidelines Washington (JTA) — A decision by the Equal Employment Op- portunity Commission to with- draw workplace harassment guidelines widely viewed as flawed is drawing mixed reac- tions from Jewish groups. The EEOC voted last week to withdraw comprehensive racial, gender and religious harassment guidelines from consideration in response to protests across the political and religious spectrum. Orthodox Jewish groups active in the debate expressed "profound disappointment" over the deci- sion, citing the immediate need for such guidelines. At the same time, the American Jewish Con- gress, the American Jewish Com- mittee and the Anti-Defamation League declared the EEOC deci- sion the best resolution possible. Most Jewish organizations agreed, however, that new guide- lines should be drafted. Employers use EEOC guide- lines to set workplace policies. EEOC last year drafted com- prehensive workplace harass- ment guidelines. As part of those guidelines, EEOC sought to de- fine unlawful religious harass- ment as any conduct — verbal or physical — that "denigrates or shows hostility or aversion to- ward an individual because of his/her religion." Evangelical Christians and many members of Congress fought the guidelines, fearing employers would ban all religious expression in the work place in order to avoid harass- ment claims. In June, the Senate voted unanimously to urge the EEOC to withdraw religion altogether from the guidelines. Though also concerned about the guidelines as they were writ- ten, Jewish groups across the spectrum, in conjunction with a broad coalition of other religious organizations and the American Civil liberties Union, disagreed that the guidelines would force employers to ban all forms of re- ligious expression. Thus this coalition lobbied to have religion included in the guidelines. Like all federal agencies, when the EEOC wants to propose rules or guidelines, they are published in the Federal Register and are subject to a comment period by all interested parties. 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