Quality you can build on, a name you can trust. Recognized by Remodeling Magazine for excellence in design and construction. Quality craftsmanship. Whether it's for your home or business, we take your ideas and bring them to life... with creativity and cost efficiency. Where perfection is always in the plans. QUALITY CONSTRUCTION RESIDENTIAL—COMMERCIAL INRECON wsomrs We specialize in desigh & build for Americans with Disaffrlies. ADA... Barrier free construction. Call for a free estimate - 846-5735 7937 Schaefer Road • Dearborn, MI NATIONALASSOCIATION of the REMODELING INDUSTRY Regional "Contractor of the Year Discover (Pare 13eauty 'it ( LEVIN'S BEAUTY SUPPLY Discover our incredible selection of hard to find fragrances, exclusive cosmetics, beauty supplies and accessories. • Angel • II Bacio • Wings • Donna Karan • Issey Miyake • Red • BOK • Opium • Oscar • Alfred Sung • Tresor • Pheromone • Escada • Tiffany • Ysatis (/) LLJ Ahava Products Paul Mitchell • Sebastian • Redken LLJ West Bloomfield cD CC OPEN 7 DAYS • 851 - 7323 Orchard Lake Road In The West Bloomfield Plaza Oak Pant • 547 - 9669 24695 Coolidge At 10 Mile Road LU LLJ F- 5 0 Advertising in The Jewish News Gets Results Place Your Ad Today. Call 354.6060 STRENGTHENING page 49 serve fully the law of kashrut out- side the home. Hopefully, that will be possible in the future," he says. Jewish law also recognizes the important role sex plays in mar- riage. Halachah says that it is a mitzvah to have sexual relations with one's spouse on Shabbat. Modern-day therapists echo this value with the pop mantra: Make time to make love. Observant woman often cred- it Jewish laws on sex for strengthening their marriage. These laws prescribe a waiting period — during menstruation and seven days after it ends — before a husband and wife can make love or engage in any sort of direct physical contact. Many women who observe these laws say abstention creates a "newness" once sexual relations resume. The oft-heard complaint about bedroom boredom isn't "Therefore, just because you're right, doesn't mean you can say it in any way or at any time," Dr. Last says. He adds: "I think Judaism pro- vides enduring values and struc- ture to relationships. If we could only be strong enough in our hearts and minds to embrace what Judaism has to offer, mar- ried life would be tremendously enriched." W hen discussing the glue of marriage, less obser- vant Jews point not so much to ritual as to the underlying precepts. Rabbi Richard Weiss, who runs a private marriage and fam- ily therapy practice in Farming- ton Hills, requires engaged couples to meet with him for a minimum of eight hours before he will officiate at their wedding. During these premarital sessions, the rabbi (formerly of Temple Beth Jacob, which closed) outlines four goals, "which in my view are what the essence of Judaism is all about. "I encourage the couples to be in the process of respecting themselves and other people," he says. "I en- courage them to be in the process of making the world more just and com- passionate by setting a good example in their home. I also tell them to be in the process of becoming open to the beauties of nature and human nature, and yet, at the same time be crit- ical. And, I encourage them to be in the process Dr. Jeffrey Last says there's a proper time to of having a sense of express discontent. humor. "I spedfy in the process because life is not a state," he prevalent, they say. Observant Jews also maintain says. "We're all in the process of that sex laws force a couple to becoming and evolving and communicate on a spiritual level. changing." Rabbi Sherwin Wine of the As one woman commented: "It's easier and much more convenient Birmingham Temple draws on to resolve differences with a phys- the shared experiences of the ical show of love, but if someone Jewish people. "Commitment is a very strong is always hugging away the hurt, the problem will show up some- Jewish value. It comes out of what I call the spirit of the Jew- where else." However, there's a proper time ish community. Without com- to express verbal discontent with mitment, the Jewish people a spouse. Dr. Jeffrey Last, a clin- wouldn't have survived," he says. Rabbi Wine cites flexibility and ical psychologist in Southfield, refers to a Jewish principle called tenacity as other values essential "giving mussar." A person who to marriage. "You don't give up. criticizes should do so at an ap- That's one of the things I've propriate time, when the recipi- learned as a Jew," he says. There is, of course, a time ent of the complaint is in a position to understand and when marriages must be dis- discuss it. A desire to be right solved, rabbis say. Judaism shouldn't take precedence over doesn't prohibit divorce. Even so, the commitment to bettering the Jewish teachings consider mar- riage a lifelong institution, not to relationship, he says.