TH E D E TRO I T J E WIS H N E WS

PHOTO BY GLENN TRI EST

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orraine Lerner shakes her head in
regret. The Jewish Family Service
social worker has seen too many,
too late. Couples, that is, on the
brink of divorce.
"I think to myself, if
only they had dealt with
these issues before they got
married," she says.
The divorce rate among American Jews
is 14 percent and increasing, according to
a recent study commissioned by the Coun-
cil of Jewish Federations. Eager to over-
come the trend, 'rabbis and Jewish
counselors emphasize Judaism's role in
marriage. Its teachings, laws and precepts
help solidify the union between husbands
and wives, they say.
"In Judaism, there is a process to help
make your marriage better," says Rabbi
Herbert Yoskowitz, new at Congregation
Beth Achim. "That is, examine your val-
ue system. Don't just talk about whether
you both like rock-and-roll or the sym-
phony, football or baseball. What is your
highest priority and what is your lowest?
"Talk about values in addition to your
likes and dislikes," he says.
Ms. Lerner is convinced that divorce
could be greatly reduced if, prior to walk-
ing down the aisle, couples took the right
steps toward marriage. To that end, Ms.
Lerner coordinates Kiddushin Is For
Keeps, a JFS program for Jewish engaged
couples and newlyweds embarking on
their first marriage.
"The goal is to lower the divorce rate,"
she says.
The program, which does not focus on
Jewish topics exclusively, nevertheless un-
derscores the value Judaism vests in mar-
riage and family Kiddushin started in Los
Angeles at the University of Judaism,
where it is celled Making Marriage Work.
Since 1979, more than 870 people have
gone through it in L.A., and follow-up stud-
ies have found the divorce rate is 9 percent
among participants.
Kiddushin is an educational forum. Par-
ticipants meet five times for two-hour ses-
sions facilitated by a state-licensed
marriage counselor.
Kiddushin acknowledges the central
role Judaism plays in the home. In fact,
members of the Michigan Board of Rab-
bis refer couples to this program. Through
a combination of discussions, workshops
and lectures, couples explore their own
and each other's convictions and values.
"In the end, it's like a chavurah," Ms.
Lerner says. "People really get to know
each other."
The sessions beg with an examina-