Community Views

Editor's Notebook

How To Handle
Religious Consumers

Everyday Acts
Of Greatness

LAURENCE !MERMAN SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH NEWS

EUZABETH APPLEBAUM ASSOCIATE EDITOR

agogue that his attitude is all too
pervasive.
Steve regards the synagogue
not as a congregation of friends,
family and fellow Jews, but as yet
another faceless organization.
There is no personal stake in the
institution, no feeling that be-
longing brings with it a sense of
interconnectedness with fellow
Jews.
His approach also applies the
principles of consumerism to the
religious context. Steve buys
what he needs for only so long as
he needs it. He became a syna-
gogue member when his children
needed a religious education, and
he plans to resign soon after his
youngest child's bar mitzvah cer-
emony.
This opinion of a synagogue
differs from that of my father's
generation, who tended to see
congregational membership as a
Jew's duty and obligation. Be-

children attending exclusive sec- longing was seen as strengthen-
ular private schools, and his own- ing the fabric of Jewish life, for a
ership of a massive lakefront synagogue enriched the entire
home. Steve rejects any notion Jewish community.
that a "fair share" obligation ex-
The current stress on Jewish
ists to support the institution.
continuity issues often translates
The synagogue accepts Steve's into a desire to encourage syna-
word regarding his financial sta- gogue affiliation. The Jewish
tus. Its leaders assume no one Federation grants for synagogue-
would apply for assistance unless based religious school education
he or she truly required it. Steve are but one example of efforts to
does need such aid, but not due stimulate membership recruit-
to economic distress. The subsidy ment. The underlying assump-
decreases the price of member- tion is that joining a congregation
ship to the point where Steve will heightens religious identification.
join the congregation. Steve be- For someone like Steve, the as-
comes a shnorrer, for he seeks sumption may not be as valid.
community philanthropy to
Steve's ties to the organization
maintain his lifestyle.
are weak at best. The bonds will
While strongly disagreeing last only until he, as a consumer,
with my friend's approach to Jew- has received the desired services.
ish life, I recognize after serving After which, he will depart. In the
as a trustee and officer of a syn- parlance of marketing, brand loy-
alty is weak.
Laurence !merman is a
The following are a few sug-
Birmingham attorney.
gestions on how to deal with the

pure religious consumers like
Steve.
First, we must communicate
that a synagogue is not just an
economic institution, but rather
has served as a central focus of
Jewish life for 2,000 years. And
while it does provide services to
its members, a congregational
community is more than the col-
lective value of those services. It
supports its members at times of
need and offers a sense of be-
longing to a greater whole. To
shnorr from the congregation is
to take from every one of its mem-
bers — including those members
of modest means who elect to pay
their fair share.
Second, although the Steves
will be eternally with us, it does
not mean that we must accept
their rationale nor thlerate their
behavior. The wealthy person
seeking dues relief or the mem-
ber who pledges funds with no in-

tention of ever paying his
contribution should be identified
and sanctioned by the communi-
ty's leadership. We must not
countenance such behavior.
Third, we must reinforce the
notion of us working together to-
ward a stronger and more vi-
brant community. We cannot be
merely economic men making de-
cisions from our own self-inter-
est.
The third suggestion is the
greatest challenge as peace comes
to Israel and the memories of the
Holocaust fade with each pass-
ing generation. We, as American
Jews, need to recapture that
sense of communal good my fa-
ther and those of his generation
knew was the strength of the
Jewish people. We should begin
at the synagogue to bring this
about. ❑

here's a
certain
gentleman
in town,
I'll call him
David, who has
every reason in
the world to dis-
like me.
Several years
ago I wrote an article on an ex-
tremely sensitive subject that
involved David. It was
my job and it was news
that needed to be cov-
ered in the paper. But
I knew anything I
wrote would trouble
David.
When the story ap-
peared, David was both
hurt and angry, and he
let the editor know it.
I began dreading the
moment I would see
David. He had never
been a close friend, but
we knew each other
well enough to say hel-
lo, and we often passed
each other in the syna-
gogue halls on Shab-
bat. After the incident, I began
averting my eyes when I saw
him.
I never blamed David for be-
ing mad; in fact, I would have
understood completely if he had
never spoken to me again.
But David, I discovered in a
very quiet way, is a remarkable
man.

Eleven months ago
when my son was
born, we hosted a
shalom zachor, a
Friday-night
gathering to
welcome a new
baby. David was
there.

Eleven months ago when my
son was born, we hosted a
shalom zachor, a Friday-night
gathering to welcome a new-
born boy. The next day was our
baby's brit. David attended
both.
When people think of some-
body "great," it's almost always
the famous and powerful who
come to mind. Or maybe it's the
especially scholarly or brilliant.
Or the clever, the influential,
the daring.
Such men often are great.
But there are others, who aren't
acknowledged in public cere-
monies, who don't have books

written about them, whose
names will never go down in
history, who have performed
equally extraordinary acts.
When I think of great men
(and I don't use that term of-
ten), David comes to mind.
His behavior is remarkable
for many reasons.
First, because he didn't make
a big deal about how wonderful
he was to forgive me. "You

know, Elizabeth, what you did
was terrible, but I'm going to
put it behind us," he could have
said.
But he never even men-
tioned it.
I'm also impressed that
David didn't carry a grudge for
years. He could have told him-
self, "One day maybe I'll talk to
her again, but for now I'm go-
ing to let time heal things."
But most of all I'm awed that
David reestablished a relation-
ship with our family in such a
gentle and loving way.
It's rare that I come across
people who, when presented
with a challenge (as David was
with me), truly are able to over-
come the restraints of the ugly
side of human nature — being
petty or selfish or cruel or hate-
ful. But David was able to sur-
mount all that, to somehow rise
above himself.
It leaves me stumbling for
words just trying to describe it.
This time of year, every year,
I think about the remarkable
gifts in my life. I consider every-
thing for which I am grateful,
which I never take for granted.
Good health. Children. A job.
Enough to eat and a safe home.
I also think of all the men
and women I am proud to
know, people whom have
changed my life, who I admire
and respect.
This time of year, every year,
I think about David. When and
if a similar challenge comes my
way, I hope I can respond with
as much graciousness and
greatness. ❑

SEPTEMBER

My friend Steve is,
and always has
been, the consum-
mate economic
man — at least
since grade school
where we first
met. In the case of
synagogue affilia-
tion, Steve quanti-
fies the tangible and intangible
benefits of belonging, from High
Holy Day tickets to religious ed-
ucation for his children, and sets
out to acquire the goods and ser-
vices at the lowest possible price.
Although we all weigh the
costs and benefits to one degree
or another, Steve carries it one
step further because of the low
priority assigned congregational
life. My friend petitions for re-
duced dues. He does so by reason
that little money remains after
his other life style choices — din-
ing at the best restaurants, his

