Family Picnic, by Donald Mar- gulies, brings into stark relief the question: who controls the money given to children? In this play about a hard-working father and his family, the son, Stewie, is shocked when his father demands thecash to help offset the expense of the extravagant bar mitzvah party they have just thrown. It is vital for parents to be clear about what power a child has over money, whether it comes to him through gifts, allowance or earn- ings. Gifts, by definition, should have fewer strings attached, and children deserve to spend some of the money they have earned to benefit from their efforts. However, each parent needs to set, and discuss with the child, the limits of parental approval, and these decisions should be consis- tent with the family's values. For example, if Linda gets to keep a portion of her bat mitzvah mon- ey, she may have to spend it on- something other than a TV or a private telephone for her room if those conflict with family guide- lines. When a child follows the guidelines, parents need to be pre- pared to respect the child's choice, although it may not reflect their own tastes or priorities. One essential lesson about money is how to balance spend- ing and saving. Jeffrey Picker, a certified public accountant with Arthur Andersen and Co., says that requiring a child to save all of his money doesn't teach him its value. "Money is a commodity to be used to acquire things; we must teach the responsibility of man- aging money." Neale Godfrey suggests having children divide their allowances into three parts: the first can be spent right away; the second is short-term savings for something special and more expensive; and the third is long-term savings. Many variations are possible on how to save: "The main thing is to create a system that both you and your kids lie so that you will stick to it." And parents need to discuss what the savings are for: educa- tion, emergencies, vacations, or retirement. David Arnow points out that parents often overestimate the level of their children's under- standing of many elements of their adult world, including their financial commitments. Indeed, for a variety of reasons, some par- ents choose to tell their children nothing about their incomes or budget, while others share more. Children need to know that par- ents' earnings are private family information, and that parents have the right to maintain dis- cretion and set boundaries. Par- ents should consider why the child is asking: is it simple curiosity, or is the child feeling worried and in- secure? A family budget and a family standard of spending will teach responsibility and consistency. ❑ With Philly Free you can cut fat out of your breakfast without 4z9my, luscious, Save 25$ when you buy ONE package of PHILADELPHIA 4/3 Less Fat' than Cream Cheese BRAND® Neufchatel Cheese, PHILADELPHIA BRAND® Light Cream Cheese or PHILADELPHIA BRAND® Fat Free Cream Cheese Procat. RETAILER Kraft, Inc. MI reimburse ONE COUPON PER ITEM PURCHASED. REDEEM PROMPTLY. you for the face value of this coupon plus 80 handling allowance if submitted in compliance with Kraft's Coupon Redemption Policy, previously provided to you and incorporated by reference herein. Void where taxed, restricted or prohibited. Cash value 1/100e. Mail to Kraft, Inc., CMS Dept. f 21000,1 Fawcett Drive, Del Rio, TX 78840. Offer expires:12/31/94. E E. 4 044.04.60.4** In the last 40 years, the death rate from heart attack has dropped 34% the death rate from con- genital heart defects is down 41% and the death rate from stroke, is down 60%. _ The American Heart Association of Michigan is 40 years old. American Heart Association of Michigan A United Way Agency .NR.HHAshANAh, For your shopping convenience, we will be open: Sunday, September 4 • 6:00 a.m. - 4:00 p.m. Monday, September 5 • 6:00 a.m. - 4:00 p.m. MODERN BAKERY 13735 W. 9 Mile Road Oak Park 141