TAKING A
CHANCE ON
ROMANCE

<

ROBIN SOSLOW SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH NEWS

ou're at work,
lodged behind
your desk,
forcing your-
self to finish
I! reading the lat-
est status re-
port. The phone
rings; you an-
swer. It's some-
one you don't
know (but with
a very pleasant
voice) calling to
congratulate
44, you on your
4•2 job promotion,
which was re-
cently an-
nounced in
local
the
trade and
business jour-
nals. How thoughtful, you
think, grateful for the praise as
well as the break from work. The
person discusses his or her own
professional involvement, then
gets around to confirming if you're
unattached — as perhaps implied
in the article or revealed by some
mutual colleague. Finally, he or
she asks if you'd like to meet for
lunch next Tuesday.
That's not a bad strategy for
meeting other single profession-
als, but it's certainly a bold one.
The caller risks being blown off
(articulately or otherwise). Or the
charmed recipient might wind up
the victim of some kinky corpo-
rate groupie. The bottom line is:
would you be willing to take a
chance on romance?
If the answer's "yes" or
"maybe," you'll find inspiration,
ideas and advice in the examples
that follow. If the answer's "no,"
read on so you'll at least be pre-
pared for potential advances.
Despite the contention of some
spoilsports that romance is dead,
countless men and women out
there can share true-life tales of

110

Robin Saslow frequently writes
articles on singles from Ocean
City, Md.

the couples-in-progress. Not one
to let opportunities slip
past her, Roberta en-
10, listed the hostess's
help in tracking down
Art and Al — and set-
ting up two extra
chairs at their table.
The foursome's frolics
continued all weekend.
But only in public places
— which brings us to dis-
aster prevention. By tak-
ing several wise measures,
you can prevent romantic
antics from going astray.
* It can be fun to act out
of character, but set some
limits. Go ahead, live a little
— just be yourself Speak up,
by making the first move, put
your best foot forward. But
never do or say anything that
runs counter to your values, or
that overshadows the good, spe-
cial person you truly are.
* Try a different setting, but
make sure it's one you're likely
to enjoy. Don't force yourself to
go places that don't appeal to you.
Instead, choose settings that at-
tract people you'd like to meet.
Like career-minded women?
Hang out at business association
meetings, not bars. Want a high-
energy partner? Round up mixed N
doubles matches at the tennis
court, or jog up to other runners
for aerobic chats. Qualify your
prospects through such activities,
and you'll have a better shot at
success.
* Arrange dates on neutral ter-
ritory — in public places. Rober-
ta and Belinda rendezvous'd with
Art and Al in a restaurant, up-
scale dance club, public park and
urban tourist mall. If you're tak-
ing a chance on romance, give it
a chance — and protect yourself.
After you get to know your
prospect (warts and all), there will
be plenty of time for dining in or
watching videos.
*Don't confuse "romance" with
"relationship." Whether you're
making the overture or receiving
it, have reasonable expectations.
Know that the romance can wear
off (for one or both) before a real
relationship ever begins — and
be honest with each other. Even
if your prospect doesn't pan out
romantically, you might end up
with a new friend — one who
probably knows other singles.
* Open your eyes and ears, not
just your mind and mouth. It can
be great fun to take a gamble on
romance. But don't you do all the
talking. When taking the brave
step to meet someone outside
your social circle, you must tune K
in for the truth behind your
prospect's attractive facade. Be-
fore building your hopes around
someone, be sure to meet each
other's friends. ❑

un-
conventional but
imaginative alternatives to ISO
ads and blind dates. After articles
appeared about my first book, I
received (via the publications that
printed them) several calls and
letters from men claiming to be
single. They gathered through the
articles that I was (A) humorous,
(B) educated, (C) a good cook and
(D) single (after all, the book's
name was "The Official Single
Woman's Cookbook"). Indeed, one
shouldn't assume anything nowa-
days. However, if I hadn't been
involved in a relationship, I prob-
ably would have accepted the air-
craft executive's proposal to have
lunch.
Speaking of aviation, one fre-
quent flyer met her match in an
airport waiting area. After watch-
ing quietly as she wrote notes on
postcards, Joe Henry gathered
the courage to introduce himself
to Buena. As he had hoped, she
was booked on the same flight —
and once they boarded the plane,
he finagled a seat next to hers.
Two years later, they married and
now live in Virginia Beach.
Here's some more flightly be-

hav-
ior: Richard Levin
received a misdialed phone call
one lonely evening. It was a
wrong number, but the Los An-
geles transplant liked the voice
at the other end so much he kept
her on the line with a series of
jokes and anecdotes. By the end
of the hour-long call, Richard had
learned her name, confirmed she
was single and engineered a date
so they could see if they liked each
other as much in person. They did
— for more than a year. By the
way, this was no teenage love af-
fair: Richard runs his own corn-
pany, and the woman is an
attorney.
Men, however, do not always
make the first move. Consider the
case of Belinda and Roberta.
While waiting in a trendy restau-
rant lounge for a dinner table,
they spotted two men their age
nearby. The wait-list was very
long and they weren't interested
in drinking their time away, so
decided to break the ice with Art
and Al. The men's dinner table
came available first, splitting up

,

L\