I 75¢ DETROIT THE JEWISH NEWS 21 AV 5754/JULY 29, 1994 To Merge Or Build? Detroiters with the same names often have hilarious stories to tell. One local man almost did not go on a first date with his wife because someone with the same name was getting married. She thought he was playing loose. A Hine) student thought his teacher called his house to talk to his parents about his bad grades. The caller was not his teacher, but a woman with the same name. These are the people who receive unfamiliar letters and phone calls and are used to explaining, "You have the right name but the wrong person." JENNIFER FINER STAFF WRITER • . - The Last Guys To Let You Down Funeral home directors do all they can to meet the many — often strange — requests of grieving families. ELIZABETH APPLEBAUM ASSOCIATE EDITOR t was around 3 a.m. one Saturday, and 6 feet un- derground in a wooden cof- fin at a Detroit cemetery a cellular telephone was ring- ing. Moments later, the caller heard a click and then this message: "Your call cannot be completed because the other party is out of range and not turned on." (Only an electronic operator could have un- knowingly uttered such a wonderful eu- phemism for "dead.") The caller was the late man's wife. And g it wasn't that she actually expected her V_ husband to answer his phone, which she :2, had asked Funeral Director David Techner if she could put in the coffin, just for old time's sake, because her ailing hus- band was never without it. She simply couldn't resist trying on one lonely evening. Life, the Scripture says, is a passing shadow. And when one dies: "Neither sil- ver nor gold nor jewels accompany him — only Torah and his good deeds" (Sayings of the Fathers). Try telling that to grieving families. Mr. Techner had a client who asked that her family member be buried in his Rabbi Levin motorcycle jacket. Alan Dorfman, of Alan Dorfman Funeral Direction, has heard, "Could you bury him with a deck of cards?" and "He loved to smoke. I'd like to send him with a pack of cigarettes." Hebrew Memorial's Rabbi Boruch Levin and Robert Bodzin recall families asking for dearly departed loved ones to have available such useful items as walkie-talkies and photos of their fa- vorite boats and vans. Halachah, Jewish law, makes no bones about it: Death should be demo- cratic. Corpses are buried in plain shrouds so that all appear equal. Jewelry and fancy clothes are not al- lowed. But at the same time Halachah does not expressly forbid a corpse being buried with, say, a cellular phone. And Jews are obligated to be kind and extend themselves at a time of grief. For funeral directors, this has come to mean an occasional casket with a pack of cigarettes or answering a ques- tion that seems to come right out of the Twilight Zone. "We got a call from someone whose family member had died. He wanted to know, 'Should I bring in the body or will you come pick him up?' " Hebrew Memorial Chapel Funeral Director Robert Bodzin says. "Of course, we always pick up the body. Can you imagine, a family driving along with the corpse in the front seat... "We also get calls, 'The funeral is at 2? Is that in the afternoon or night?' "And one time somebody asked, Do you DOWN page 28 B'nai David factions. ALAN HITSKY ASSOCIATE EDITOR technicality and one vote have blocked the proposed merger of Congregation B'nai David with Congregation B'nai Moshe and re- exposed a deep division within the B'nai David membership. B'nai David board members voted 15- 11, with four abstentions, last week in fa- vor of the merger plan with B'nai Moshe. But with a quorum of 30 present at the meeting, the proposal needed 16 votes to be presented at a later meeting to the syn- agogue's general membership for ap- proval. The congregation was advised that un- der Michigan law the proposed merger had to be approved by the board before it could be submitted to the membership. Proponents of the merger, led by B'nai David immediate past president Lawrence Traison, said the action leaves the general membership "embarrassed, disenfranchised and angry that 11 peo- ple decided that the whole membership does not know what it wants." President Philip Bolton, who voted with the minority, said the action last week reaffirms those B'nai David members who still feel it's possible for the congregation to build its own sanctuary. B'nai David sold its Southfield Road fa- cility to the City of Southfield four years ago for $1.6 million. Under the terms of the sale, B'nai David had three years plus A MERGE page 8 nside HEALTH Helping Kids A Holocaust survivor helps the terminally ill. Page 46 NEXT GENERATION Last Laugh A Detroiter tours with Second City. Page 117 Contents on page 3