Dreams Of Di

What's a nice
Jewish boy
doing making
L! eyes at
Princess Diana?

o

Lu

Lu

42

PETER LEFCOURT

SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH NEWS

"W

e waited out the
rain at a pub in
Northampton,
getting sodden
from the beer,
thinking about
her. "What do you think she's really like?
There's this innocence about her, don't
you think?"
"Innocence? Rubbish. That woman has
the survival instincts of a barracuda. Look
what she did to Charles. The poor man
has been reduced to locking himself up in
his organic garden and talking to his
rutabaga."
Rupert Makepeace didn't really know
Diana. She may have been the biggest sto-
ry of his life, but she would never be more

than that. I knew things he would never
know.
Rupert had not sat and listened as she
spoke to him of her unhappiness, her eyes
heavy, her hand moist in his. He was not
privy to the loneliness that gripped her.
He didn't know that what she wanted
most in life was someone to curl up in front
of the telly with.
I began to suspect the real reason I had
come to London. I hadn't come merely to
research a miniseries about Diana. I had
come to rescue her.
We drove back to London in silence. It
wasn't until we were nearly at the Dorch-
ester that I asked him if he was going to
be at Ascot on Saturday.
"Yes, unfortunately. Of course, Diana

will be stoic and fuss over
the boys like a mother
hen, while Charles will
look as if he has an ear-
ache. The Queen will pre-
tend that everything is
perfectly normal and
Philip will ignore her, as
usual."
"Do the men really
wear morning suits?" I
asked.
"If they want to be ad-
mitted into the Royal En-
closure."
"What exactly is a
morning suit?"
"Really, Leonard, don't
you know anything?"
"I'm a second genera-
tion Polish Jew. My
grandfather sold herring
from a pushcart on the
Lower East Side of New
York. He didn't have
much call for a morning
suit."
"Tails and a top hat,
with a gray waistcoat."
We pulled up in front of
the hotel. In my room, I
poured myself a Beck's
from the minibar and
thought about a morning
suit and a date. I decided
to tackle the easier prob-
lem first.
I called down to the
concierge and asked him
for the number of the To-
golese embassy.
When I got the number,
I called and asked for Kod-
jo Kponvi. He got on the
line: "Kponvi here."
"It's me. Leonard
Schecter."
"Splendid. How nice to
hear from you."
"I have a small favor to ask."
"It would be a great pleasure to ac-
commodate you, my friend."
"My morning suit was lost by British
Airways and Diana's asked me to be in
the Royal Enclosure on Saturday. I was
wondering if I could possibly borrow
yours."
"By all means."
He promised to send the morning suit
over to the hotel. Then I called Lady Gwen
Poulstice.
"Gwen, I've got a little proposition to
make. How would you like to accompany
me to Ascot Saturday?"
"Thank you, but I don't think I'm avail-
able."

