DIVIDE Southfield or West Bloomfield. Ms. Blair, who is hosting the reunion meeting, is un- abashedly nostalgic for those Oak Park days when "you knew everyone on just about every block." She served on the 10-year re- union committee and is joined by three classmates of the 14- member, 20-year reunion corn- mittee: Karen (Winnick) Gilbert, Howard Goldman and John Tocco. Ms. Blair confesses to twist- ing a few arms to get help or- ganizing the 20th reunion. "Basically," said Mr. Tocco, a Huntington Woods resident, "someone gave my name to Karon and she wouldn't leave me alone. So, here I am." Mr. Tocco, who spent time in high school counting down the days to graduation, refers to the group as "three Jews and a gen- tile." The group has been meeting for nearly a year. The invitation to the September reunion is the fourth mailing to their class- mates. "It's been a major en- terprise," Ms. Blair said. Mr. Goldman, of West Bloomfield, didn't attend the 10- year reunion. He said he feels like he missed something, and was eager to find where his classmates have migrated. "People have careers, families. It's hard to believe it's been 20 years." During the past two decades, many classmates have gone their separate ways, to China, Europe and throughout the United States. Some have made a name for themselves: the late Gary Davidoff, whose work in phys- ical medicine and rehabilitation was widely recognized; Beth Figer, a television writer in Hol- lywood; restaurateur Lorraine Platman of "Sweet Lorraine's"; Alane Simons, a cantor who now lives in Illinois, and Ronald Hoover, who served as a fight- er pilot in the U.S. Air Force. In a season of graduations, there's the typical philosophi- cal observations about career choices and the meaning of life. For Ms. Blair, Ms. Gilbert and Mr. Goldman, that has meant re-examining the role of Judaism in their lives. Mr. Tocco, who is Catholic, offers this appraisal of his class- mates' awakening. "Every one of my Jewish friends always talked about how much they hated Hebrew school, and how they wouldn't make their kids do what they had to do," he said. "So, of course, now they're sending their kids to religious school." Lighting Shabbat candles with her two daughters gives Ms. Blair a moment to realize that she's carrying on a tradi- tion, not only as a parent but as a Jew. "We can't give our children the community we grew up in, but through the Jewish religion we can give them something that they'll have the rest of their lives. This is our way of provid- ing a tradition, giving our chil- dren something to hold on to," she said. When Ms. Gilbert was grow- ing up, she said, "It was un- heard of for a girl to have a bat mitzvah." Raising children in a multicultural society requires balancing an understanding of other cultures with a commit- ment to her own Karon Blair Jewish heritage, she and family: said. A long way As a new mother, Ms. Bloom And, in these days from growing up in "Very few people are of class reunions and Oak Park. where they want to be," is facing many of the similar graduation cere- she said. "It's just start- questions that Ms. Blair and Ms. Gilbert, both 10 years old- monies, there are inevitable ing not to depress me." comparisons to other genera- Ms. Bloom serves on the er, already have confronted. "My son's going to Hebrew planning committee for the tions. Ten years ago, the Class of 1984 Oak Park High School school and will have a bar mitz- `74 was probably confronting Class Reunion, which will be vah," she said. "It's a tradition: unmet expectations, also known held in late August. The world He's going to be tortured just as 'What do you do when you're that she and her classmates en- like mom and dad." For Ms. Gilbert, whose life not where you thought you'd tered might not have been as frightening as George Orwell has gone basically according to be?" A 1984 graduate of Oak Park predicted, but the changing job her plan — college, career and High School and teacher at market and "the materialism motherhood — looking back is Eaton Academy in Birming- and lack of respect" of the gen- a way to get a better sense of ham, Aileen Bloom, is address- erations that followed is dis- what's ahead for her children. "I loved my high-school days ing that question. tressing, she said. and wanted that time to con- tinue, and now I want to help my children enjoy themselves," she said. "But there just isn't that sense of security that we had growing up. Just look around, there's no place to walk to." The flight from crime and the consequences of urban sprawl has turned those old neighbor- hood days into a casualty. "I think we all feel that we've lost what was essential: the sense of community," Ms. Blair said. Community, Mr. Goldman