Not
City
The Belzringer Ray and Rabbi Glinda B'Oz discuss their different theologies.
Rabbinic Alternatives
Discussed In Detroit
A
lternatives in Jewish
Clergy met for its third
annual convention in
Detroit last Sunday. The
program was sponsored by the
Agency for Short Jewish
Attention Spans.
The Belzringer Ray, whose
sect is descended from a long
line of royal court jesters to King
Arthur, and is believed to be
among the first stand-up co-
medians, was in town to discuss
the future of alternative rab-
binic theology. The Ray spoke
from his recently published text,
"To Shiur With Love."
Also on hand to discuss her
alterative pulpit was Rabbi
Glinda B'Oz, the good witch
of the northwest and still mov-
ing. The rabbi spoke mostly
about how in everyone's life will
come a road made of yellow
brick that will lead us all to a
city of green. But when she
started talking of little people,
the crowd begin to quickly
dwindle. It dispersed almost en-
tirely when Rabbi B'Oz broke
Do You Know Me?
into singing "Somewhere Over
the Kneidlach."
It was noted by the meetings
organizers that no one from the
Orthodox community was
present. They were too busy
twirling live chickens over
their heads in anticipation of
the holidays. There's no way
they'd get involved in some-
thing "crazy" like humor, said
an Orthodox spokesman.
Annual Field
Trip Planned
Members of Morgenthau B'nai
B'rith Women, the Yiddish-
speaking chapter, are planning
their annual get-a-way. This
year's destination: The Schvitz
in Detroit.
One of the last remaining
bastions of debauchery in bath-
houses, The Schvitz is known
for both its "swinging atmo-
sphere" and Jewish-German
name.
"We thought it sounded
different, and may help us at-
tract more younger members,"
said Sema Shaw-Yarost,
founder. "Besides, I'm sure the
activities will give us an op-
portunity to practice our 'Oy
veyS.' "
❑
❑
I'm the chairman of the Jewish Agency and a former
Israeli ambassador to the United States.
And I use the American Excess Card to eat in some of
the finest restaurants and shops all over the United
States. Sure, I've helped nearly half a million olim set-
tle in Israel. So, listen, why should anyone, including
me, "settle" for less? What's a measly $22,000 in per-
sonal purchases when you are talking helping half-a-
million Jews?
What does Jerusalem District Court know?
Now do you remember me?
S-I-M-C-H-A D-I-N-I-T-Z
The American Excess Card.
Let someone else "settle" for less.
Don't leave Israel without it.
AJE Leader Heads Home
Members of the Kotel's famed Rabbis Running Relay Team show off their new
uniforms While training for the 1996 Summer Olympics in Atlanta.
Howard Gelberd, executive di-
The spirit of dead rock star
rector of the Agency for Jewish
Janis Joplin was reincarnated.
Education, is heading
She spoke briefly of
west — home to San
the benefits of educa-
Francisco.
tion and clean living,
The surprising
adding she always
move follows the re-
wished she was born
cent AJE-sponsored
a Jew.
Kornwise Weekend
"These
kids,
for teens of all de-
they're too radical, too
nominations at Camp
wild. Next thing you
Maas in Ortonville.
know they'll bring
During Havdalah
Jim Morrison back in
services, the students
Jerusalem. I can't
joined together in hip- Wait a minute...this isn't chance it," Mr.
pie garb, singing Howard Gelberd!
Gelberd said. "I'm re-
"Adon Olam" to the
turning to San
tune of "Me and Bobby McGee."
Francisco. It's normal there." ❑