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t was Sylvia's birthday. She
was 80 years old.
She spent the day with
her grandchildren at lunch
and in the park. Her grandson
told her he was gay. She said,
"Tell me something I don't
know," then hugged him, let
him push her on the swing and
prayed. It was a wonderful af-
ternoon.
Sylvia is a Holocaust sur-
vivor. She remembers the Holo-
caust being called "God's
punishment." She hears the
same about AIDS. It frightens
her.
Sylvia, a character created
by SIMCHA member Cindy
Mudryk, told her tale, thick
with a Polish accent, at a re-
cent Sunday afternoon forum
at the Maple-Drake Jewish
Community Center titled
"Even In The Best Of Fami-
lies...Twice Blessed: Jewish
And Gay."
Sponsored by the Michigan
Coalition
Jewish AIDS
(MJAC), Parents, Friends and
Family of Lesbians and Gays
(PFLAG) and SIMCHA (an or-
ganization for Jewish gays and
lesbians), "Twice Blessed" was
the second in a series of year-
ly, community-wide events.
About 80 people attended,
many of them families joining
to share their stories between
vignettes presented by Ms.
Mudryk, SIMCHA member
Joe Kort and other PFLAG and
SIMCHA representatives.
Mr. Kort recalled the time
when he turned his ring
around, so the Hebrew symbols
could not be seen, to rent an
apartment. Steve Fenwyck
spoke of attending a youth con-
clave where sexuality was the
topic of programming. He an-
nounced that he found the dis-
cussions and projects
"heterosexist."
"People looked at me differ-
ently. It's OK. I think they re-
spected me," Mr. Fenwyck said.
Responses to the stories in-
cluded comments like "I‘'m Jew-
ish; I'm gay, and I'm a little
older. Years ago we would have

I

never opened our mouths.
Times have changed " to "What
happened in youth group hap-
pens in synagogues at the adult
level all the time. Programming
is straight-couple and family
based. The needs of gays, les-
bians and singles need to be ad-
dressed, too."
Rabbi Arnie Sleutelberg of
Congregation Shir Tikvah ex-
plained moves taken by the Re-
form movement to mainstream
gays and lesbians into congre-
gational life. He sat on a pan-
el with psychologist Stuart
Itzkowitz, Oakland County
Health Department AIDS Co-
ordinator Joy Shumaker and
Jewish Family Service social
worker Elissa Driker, to an-
swer questions.
The audience had more com-
ments and "coming out" stories
to share than actual questions
— like attending a gay congre-
gation and kissing a lover at the
conclusion of services for the
first time, or the father of a les-
bian tracking his daughter
when she ran away, ashamed
of her sexual orientation. He
took her to PFLAG, SIMCHA,
Affirmations (another gay and
lesbian support group). Their
relationship grew; her esteem
boosted.
Laughter permeated the
room as the stories rang famil-
iar to many. Arms linked to-
gether when Rabbi Sleutelberg
led the group in "Hinei Ma
Tov."
Susie Leemaster, MJAC
president, seemed pleased.
`This is a wonderful turnout,
and a lot of new faces to
MJAC," Ms. Leemaster said.
"The number of people inter-
ested and the discussion oc-
curring goes toward the
breaking down of barriers."
Howard Israel, a SIMCHA
member, said he supported the
program and the efforts made,
but added, "This is sort of like
preaching to the converted al-
ready. There are a lot of people
who still can't or won't show
their faces yet." ❑

Publicity Deadlines

The normal deadline for local news and publicity items is noon Thurs-
day, eight days prior to issue date. The deadline for birth an-
nouncements is 10 a.m. Monday, four days prior to issue date;
out-of-town obituaries, 10 a.m. Tuesday, three days prior to issue
date.
All material must be typewritten, double-spaced, on 8t/2x 11 paper
and include the name and daytime telephone number of sender.

