Ms. Apkarian says people often call and ask
for instruction and advice on how to respond
to wedding invitations correctly when no re-
sponse set has been included. She tells them
proper etiquette is to write a formal response
on their own stationery.
Given that the bottom line of etiquette
should always be to put others at ease, you
could argue that, for some guests, it's impo-
lite not to enclose a card.
A compromise is to divide the guest list by
age and enclose response cards only for
younger friends.

A strictly formal

invitation does not
include a response card
and return envelope.

If a bridal couple decides that reply cards
are a necessity for their group, the cards
should match the invitation in color and print-
ing style. If the invitation is engraved, the re-
ply cards should be engraved too. If the
invitation is printed, the card should be print-
ed. The wording on a reply card is very sim-
ple and direct; any good stationer can help
with it.
Etiquette columnist Judith Martin, in her
book Miss Manners' Guide for the Turn of the-
Millennium, says you can also "ignore the hor-
rid card and answer the invitation properly"
with a formal handwritten reply.
Unfortunately, with or without reply cards,
some guests still don't respond to wedding in-
vitations. These people should be dealt with
unmercifully, says Baldridge. "I suggest hir-
ing a high school student to sit down and call
each one. She or he should explain that it is
essential that the mother of the bride know if
the guest plans to attend." Don't feel embar-
rassed about calling. "Guests who don't re-
spond to wedding invitations should be gone
after with a hammer and made to feel guilty."

-

STATIONERY

INVITATIONS

UNIQUE GIFT ITEMS

Business or Personal

In Stock, Special Ordered or Custom Designed

Complimentary Gift Wrapping

% (Off Select Invitattions

Somerset Colleettion
2801 W. lr i g Ir eaver #D104

4068 W. Maple
J ust East of Telegraph
I
ID) loomfield Hills
Phone 810-646-6700
1-iax 810-,646-4349

roy

810.816-0910
Fax 810-816-1410

Phone

*

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❑

Jennifer Finer contributed to this article.

Illustration reprinted with the permis-
sion of Atheneum Publishers, an imprint
of Macmillan Publishing company, from
Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly
Correct Behavior' by Judith Martin.
copyright ©1979, 1980, 1981, 1982 by
United Feature Syndicate. Illustrations
copyright ©1982 by Gloria Kaman.

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STYLE • JAN UARY/ FEHR UARY 1994 •

79

