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PARENTS page 16

up his or her standards"; "Mu-
tuality of desire and readiness
is a must," and "It's OK to say
no."
Dr. Hacker said she agreed
with Rabbi Cohen's list, espe-
cially in its emphasis on self-es-
teem and valuing of others
within a loving relationship.
She discussed the differences
between sex and sexuality, and
learning what it means to be a
caring and concerned lover ver-
sus memorizing terms like "fal-
lopian tubes" and "urethra."
Dr. Hacker filled parents in
on questions she receives from
students and the many unsafe,
exploiting sexual activities pop-
ular among teens.
"I'm modifying traditional
Judaism which says no sex be-
fore marriage. But sex doesn't
equal intercourse only," Dr.
Hacker said.
Alternative practices not in-
volving penetration were dis-
cussed.
"I'd like to give teens choic-
es," Dr. Hacker said. "You can
abstain from everything. But
you might not. We need to give

our kids the knowledge to cre-
ate value systems. This is ex-
plicit and embarrassing. Admit
these feelings to your children
and learn together."
Many parents nodded their
heads, but followed up with
questions like "How do I start
these discussions?" and "What
is wrong with setting bound-
aries?"
Sylvie Salie, a Southfield par-
ent originally from France, said
she was pleased to see issues of
sexuality finally being openly
discussed in the schools.
"You have to have programs
like this because parents, es-
pecially in America it seems,
are shy. You have to remind
them to talk about sex," Ms.
Salie said.
At Hillel, discussions of
anatomy and sexuality within
a Jewish context are begun in
the fourth grade.
Assistant principal Helene
Cohen said the topic was cho-
sen because it is something par-
ents grapple with, while
affecting children's issues of
self-esteem. D

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Happy Simchah!

The Jewish News will waive the
normal photographic charge for
bar and bat mitzvah an-
nouncements.
Families wishing to an-
nounce a bar or bat mitzvah

should send a typewritten an-
nouncement, along with a pho-
tograph, to News Dept., The
Jewish News, 27676 Franklin
Rd., Southfield 48034. D

Early Deadlines

The Jewish News will have early deadlines
for upcoming issues:

Dec. 24 issue:
Display ads, 4 p.m. Friday, Dec. 17.
Classified ads, 10 a.m. Monday, Dec. 20.

Dec. 31 issue:
Display ads, 4 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 23.
Classified ads, 10 a.m. Monday, Dec. 27.
Local news, noon Wednesday, Dec. 22.