Community Views
Editor's Notebook
A Time To Reflect
On Loss And Life
Rejecting A Doctrine;
Removing A Wall
RABBI DAVID NELSON SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH NEWS
Aug. 10, 1993,
was a difficult
day for me. I flew
to New York to
deliver the eulo-
gy for my cousin
Alan. Though he
was but a few
years older than
I, he always
seemed larger than life in my
young eyes and smarter and
more assured in the ways of the
world.
Since Alan and I were the
only males among all my female
cousins, there was a natural
bond that drew us together, and
I always admired Alan's gifts —
even as we grew beyond com-
peting over who could eat the
most Passover brownies at the
family seder in my parents'
home or turkey at the Thanks-
giving dinner which his parents
always hosted.
Alan studied law and had a
thriving law practice, but his
real love, his real interest, was
his clocks which he bought and
sold. He always had 10 to 12
grandfather clocks scattered
throughout the rooms of his
large rambling home; and every
shelf, mantel and counter was
filled with clocks of all sizes,
shapes and designs.
Alan was a collector, but not
only of clocks; he collected peo-
ple around him in a kind of
easygoing relationship which
bordered on being a fan club.
He knew every craftsman by
name, knew his family's names
and probably his ailments, too.
Befriending the people who sold
him his morning coffee and
newspaper, he once went be-
hind a client's diner counter and
helped serve customers.
Alan never quite did things
the way most people did. He
used to commute from Westch-
ester to Manhattan by driving
to a parking lot in Harlem.
There he talked for five minutes
to the owner surrounded by two
fierce watchdogs and a high
mesh fence. Leaving the car be-
hind, he'd take the subway to
lower Manhattan where he
worked. It was an interesting
way to get to work and put Alan
in touch with the world around
him.
Though Alan breathed deeply
,--' of life and shared it with his
wife, Joaan, and his three chil-
dren, good fortune did not smile
on him. He and Joann buried
their middle son, Jonathan, who
was killed in a skiing accident
in Switzerland the summer
Jonathan graduated college.
From that moment on, the
beat and the pace of his life nev-
er seemed to be complete. He
David Nelson is rabbi of Congre-
gation Beth Shalom.
PHIL JACOBS EDITOR
was like one of his clocks that
didn't maintain its tick. The joy
in doing, in going, in reaching out
to others was gone; and Alan
sought to fill the painful void
Jonathan's death left in his life.
He found that his path
brought him back to his own
tradition; for in his search, Alan
began attending services regu-
larly for the first time in his life.
He would talk about the enjoy-
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bat oasis.
The family gathered and
reminisced about his life on Aug.
10. The Eagle Scout, the great
dancer, he loved the tumult of
life and lived every second to the
fullest. There probably wasn't
a tag sale that he missed. When
he bought his first clock as a
teen-ager and his mother chal-
lenged him to understand what
made it tick, he made himself
..""r"104 "'"VIrmirr.r 4C—
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47
Before hand-held the name of Luther that German
computer games, hate groups used as justification,
laser
battle not to just condemn Judaism but
games and yes, to kill Jews, imprison them and
even Barney the change most of us forever.
Dinosaur came
So it is interesting that the
into this world, Lutheran Church is bringing out
there were those the "dirty laundry" of its patri-
of us who derived arch and debating it. For some
childhood plea- of us, though, there's nothing to
sure from playing in nothing debate.
more than a huge cardboard box.
How do we debate the hollow
That was the case at age 7 for faces of starving and freezing
a friend who came over to play children searching for food, not
in a box that had contained a to mention missing parents on
new washing machine. The two the streets of Germany and
of us turned the box into a "fort" Poland? How do we debate the
and played in and around it for numbered tattoo many of our
hours until we were called in by grandparents have on their
my mother for a late afternoon arms?
snack. I remember the day as
There is nothing to debate.
cool and autumnal. It was dark Martin Luther's anti-Semitism
by the time we were called for cannot solely be blamed for seed-
a break.
ing the Holocaust. But his doc-
The little girl finished her trine needs to be condemned,
snack, announced that it was period.
time for her to go home and then
It is interesting that at one
thanked my mother, saying,
"You know, Mrs. Jacobs, even
though my parents said you peo-
ple killed our lord, I still enjoy
playing here."
We were living in a three-bed-
room rowhouse at the time. Her
house was in the row. These
were small homes. One could
have felt my mother's anger and
frustration through every wall time, the leader urged other
of that row. There were nine Christians to stop persecutions
houses in the row with common against Jews. But when thank-
walls, but with different families ful Jews failed to express their
living in each connected house. gratitude through conversion, he
Each family was ethnically and apparently turned to the dark
religiously different. We were a side.
family of four and the only Jews.
In 1984, this community's
We were connected by a wall of Holocaust Memorial Center fea-
concrete, yet separated by a wall tured an exhibit on Jews in Ger-
of difference.
many. Part of that exhibit
My friend, one of nine chil- focused on the teachings of Mar-
dren, had a mother who was a tin Luther.
teacher at a parochial school; the
Museum executive director
father a city bus driver. My Rabbi Charles H. Rosensveig
friend's mother told my mother said that while the modern
that this was part of her religious Lutheran church's rejection of
doctrine, that her daughter Luther's anti-Semitic writings
meant nothing personal by what is important and dramatic,
was said. They were a Lutheran there's got to be more.
family.
"The truth is," said Rabbi
I never had the little girl over Rosensveig, "survivors of the
again.
Holocaust have a difficult time
This week, the Lutheran when it comes to these state-
Church is expected to reject spe- ments. You kill a person and dis-
cific anti-Semitic doctrines writ- cuss what you did after you
ten hundreds of years ago by murder them. I think the
Martin Luther himself
Lutheran Church is admirable
Here's a sample of what one for what it is doing; it just needs
of the founding fathers of Protes- to do more. It needs to issue a
tantism had to say in 1543: "For major statement of apology and
it is as easy to convert a Jew as outright disassociation."
ea)
to convert the devil. A Jew and
The Rev. Jim Lyons, executive 0)
Jewish heart are hard as wood, director of the Ecumenical In-
as stone, as iron, as the devil stitute for Jewish-Christian
himself. In short, they are chil- Studies in Southfield, said that CC
dren of the devil, condemned to the rejection of Luther's anti-Se- LU
CO
the flames of hell."
mitic doctrine has been going on CD
Guess whose doctrine shows for years unofficially by many 1—
CD
up time and time again when Lutherans.
C:)
the seeds of 20th century Holo-
"It's extremely important that
caust history are studied? It was DOCTRINE page 10
They were raised
on it, whether or
not it applies in
the 20th century.
ment he found in his new spir-
ituality. The chanting, the
melodies of the service wrapped
him in a blanket of securityand
peace.
One of the special moments
he described was dancing
through the aisles of the con-
gregation with people he hard-
ly knew as they wove back and
forth across the hall. There was
a warmth in this experience
Alan never quite
did things the way
most people did.
that touched his soul. Those he
knew from going to synagogue
regularly he called his "Shabbat
friends," and he talked about
them often throughout the
week. He felt that whatever
stress he endured each week
would be lessened by his Shah-
an expert in the field of horolo-
gY.
No one knows how much
time he or she has: how many
days, weeks and years. Shab-
bat marks sacred time, and
these precious hours make time
stand still.
With each tick, the clock
winds down. With each ticking
sound, our lives are affected. As
we buried my cousin Alan that
day, I felt an emptiness which I
know I will feel for a long time.
As I reflected on Alan's new
discovery of Shabbat, I under-
stood on a deeper level the
meaning of the prayer recited
after the Shabbat meal: "May
the merciful One grant us a day
that is true Shabbat rest, re-
flecting the eternal life.”
I can only pray that Alan's
soul is finding the serenity he
sought in life eternal, buried
alongside his dear son,
Jonathan. Every time I look at
a clock, I will remember my
cousin Alan.0
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