How Do We Address
ay Announcements?
PHIL JACOBS EDITOR
There's been a
great deal writ-
ten and broad-
cast recently
across the coun-
try concerning
homosexuals and
their rights. It
seems as if it's
been the num-
ber-one issue since the Clintons
took office in January. Issues
such as gays in the military
have occupied Page One in the
national media. Last week we
learned that male homosexual-
ity could be genetically linked.
is week, an anti-gay ordi-
nance was struck down in Ore-
gon.
In our world, the Detroit Jew-
ish world, this newspaper has
tionships," or "How to Attract
Non-subcribers to Your
Publication." Perhaps the most
useful workshop is a two-hour
program where editors and
writers are given an opportuni-
ty to bring up anything on their
minds.
This year, I raised my hand
and asked, "What do you do if a
gay couple wants to announce
their upcoming `simcha' in your
newspaper?" It was like some-
one had opened a window and
let the wind come in. This rush
of opinion came forth. People
who for years never had a thing
to say, couldn't wait to get in on
this one.
But like the phone calls and
letters we get here, there were
those editors who thought I was
Issues of gay civil rights are not going to go away.
been criticized for writing sto-
ries on AIDS, Jewish gay
lifestyles and for even publish-
ing the gather-
ing of a Jewish
gay and les-
ian confer-
ence.
On the other
side, gays have
called our pa-
per, wanting to
be listed as
"husband" or
as "surviving
spouse" to a
male compan-
Akek,ift*
ion who has
died. There
have been in-
quiries about same-sex engage-
ment and wedding
announcements.
About a month ago, the
American Jewish Press Associ-
ation, an organization of about
60 publications, held its annu-
al meeting in Washington, D.C.
ically, the titles of the work-
shops of this conference include
ongoing issues such as "News-
paper and Federation Rela-
crazy for even asking the ques-
tion. "Why wouldn't you publish
the word 'husband' if that's what
a gay man
wanted to be
known as?" I
was even ask-
ed, incredu-
ously, "You
wouldn't con-
sider an en-
ga gem ent
announce-
ment of two
women?"
Then there
was the other
side
who
couldn't be-
lieve what
they were hearing from the first
side. I was almost sorry I
brought it up. One question was
raised by a colleague about the
Jewishness of covering gay and
lesbian issues. Another later
pointed a finger at me saying
that I and people like me were
the reason for the discrimina-
tion against gays, and that Jews
should know better than to dis-
criminate.
The point that I made, and I
still stick to, is you have got to
listen to what your community
wants. This is a difficult issue,
and it's not one that can be
solved overnight. But there are
people in our community, or in
Nip'W '"XiMM:Fr
any community who aren't
ready to see a photo of two
women in bridal gowns holding
hands and staring lovingly in
each other's eyes. Another Jew-
ish newspaper printed a photo
like this last year as a wedding
announcement. It's appropriate,
I believe, to write about these
issues.
But I don't think this com-
munity feels comfortable with
seeing these announcements,
these photos in their paper.
Maybe, we need to add the word
"yet."
At the same time, I don't
want to appear i'm coming from
the Dark Ages here. But the
laws of Judaism still haven't
changed in their interpretation
of homosexuality as an abomi-
nation. Of course, those same
laws also say not following the
holiness of the Sabbath is also
an anathema.
A generation ago, editors
wrung their hands over deci-
sions on intermarriage an-
nouncements. There are those
in the community who wish we
had never opened the door to
the flood tide here. Maybe 10
years from now, the printing of
gay announcements will be sec-
ond-nature.
We're not about soliciting let-
ters to the editor at all But we'd
be interested to know your opin-
ions here. We're not interested
in your anger in any way, but
instead, a constructive sugges-
tion. The issue of gay rights is
not going to go away. It's also
not something reserved for the
front page. These issues find
their way into articles on mili-
tary life, health, civil rights law
and even the weddings, en-
gagements and obituary an-
nouncements.
These issues might even find
their way into your life one day.
If this newspaper mirrors the
community it serves, these is-
sues should then appropriately
be debated. ❑
I
recently returned from the
14th Maccabiah Games in Is-
rael. While there, I had the
opportunity to tour Israel
with the U.S. team. I spoke with
participants from all over the
world about Jewish life in their
countries. I spent a beautiful
Shabbat evening with an Israeli
family, and I made friends that
I hope to have for a lifetime.
When they say "two weeks to
experience, a lifetime to re-
member," they aren't kidding.
From the thrill of marching into
Ramat Gan Stadium for open-
ing ceremonies, through two in-
tense weeks of fun and
competition, to a very moving
closing ceremony in Jerusalem,
it was an unforgettable experi-
ence.
The theme of the 14th Mac-
cabiah was "Discovering the
Menorah." Since ancient times,
the menorah has been a symbol
of the Jewish people. It is the
menorah that sits in front of the
Kinesset. It was the menorah
that the Romans took back as
proof that they had destroyed
the Jewish people. It was also
the menorah that Judah Mac-
cabee, for whom the games are
named, kindled to rededicate the
Temple in Jerusalem.
While I was in Jerusalem
with the U.S. team, I couldn't
help but think about that sym-
bol. I was proud to be in Israel
with these outstanding Jewish
athletes. They are genuinely
beautiful, strong, healthy and
confident, a true embodiment of
the Maccabi ideal of a "strong
mind and a healthy body."
However, these games were
named for Judah Maccabee not
because of his strength, but be-
cause he preserved the Jewish
people from assimilation and
rededicated the desecrated Tem-
ple.
The Maccabiah, like any trip
to Israel, is the best opportunity
to build Jewish identity, and the
menorah is a wonderful symbol
to identify with, but it is just a
symbol. That symbol has been
destroyed many times in our his-
tory. But the ethic behind the
symbol has survived because of
the vitality of our heritage and
the depth of our faith. I had to
wonder if these Maccabeans will
sustain that heritage for them-
selves and their children.
Will they dedicate future tern-
pies?
At Yad Vashem, I was
grabbed by another image of the
menorah. This was a menorah
made by a concentration camp
inmate. It was fashioned from
scraps of wood and metal. I can't
imagine where a prisoner in a
concentration camp thought to
get enough candles or oil to cel-
ebrate the eight nights of
Chanukah. I was awed by that
faith. In the midst of the de-
struction of our people, this per-
son thought to celebrate the
rededication of the Temple and
likely did not know how he
would keep the flame going for
eight nights. Will our young peo-
ple learn to appreciate the
strength and beauty of that act?
Will they learn to have the same
faith?
When they return from Israel,
will we teach them to appreciate
Beth Robinson was the ac- the richness of our history and
commodations manager for the tradition, the beauty of Jewish
U.S. soccer and karate teams. thought and observance, the cen-
She is the administrator of Tem- trality of Torah and the impor-
ple Emanu-El in Oak Park.
tance of faith? El