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Determined: Warren Zide.
ago,
years
Four
Warren Zide wanted to
show his buddies how to
get dates. During a party
they attended at the
Maple-Drake Jewish
Community Center, he
approached a woman and
struck up a conversation.
Four days later, Mr.
Zide was in love with
her.
The Southfield native
was on winter break
from law school in
California, where he was
studying to become an
entertainment attorney.
When vacation ended, he
was forced to leave his
new-found flame to
return to Los Angeles.
The two young people
kept in touch; they got
engaged. Six months
later, she moved to L.A.
But the ending of this
love-at-first-sight story
seems bittersweet to Mr.
Zide. He dropped out of
law school to pursue a
career as an entertain-
ment agent, and he says
he lost his fiancee partly
because he gained a clear
perspective on what he
wanted to do with his
life.
It wasn't law.
Like many Jewish
young adults, Mr. Zide
felt compelled to pursue
a career in medicine, law
or finance. His parents
supported the maverick
route he eventually took.
But he says • others,
including his fiancee,
objected.
That seems to be the
story of many young
adults who opt for alter-
native careers. Many say
their parents encourage
them to do what they
want to do, but some
admit that underneath
the encouragement is a
silent insistence on pur-
suing professions of sta-
bility and prestige —
something that brings in
the bucks soon after
graduation.
Psychologists
say
Jewish patients rarely
complain exclusively of
pressure to pick a known
professional career like
medicine, law or account-
ing. What pressure
exists doesn't necessarily
come from individuals,
but rather from the
Jewish community as a
whole, they say.
"I see Jewish patients
who are not intellectual-
ly or professionally very
competitive," says Noemi
Ebenstein, a psychologist
with a private practice in
Southfield. "Therefore,
they feel the pressure
because all their peers
get a high education and
succeed."
Margaret
Weiner,
associate executive direc-
tor of Jewish Family
Service, says she has not
noticed an increase in
clients who come to JFS
because they feel coerced
to conform to their par-
ents' preference for
careers — though the sit-
uation does arise.
"But that's not the
main issue," she says.
"That is only an expres-
sion of what the whole
relationship was like.
Some parents, in today's
vernacular, are control
freaks."
For David Saperstein,
the choice to attend the
University of Michigan's
law school was his own.
Now that he has gradu-
ated, however, his par-
ents are urging him to
make use of his degree.
He'd prefer to work as a
public policy-maker in
Washington, D.C.
"Through college, my
parents would constantly