"The most important thing is to show under-
standing. I remember once a man came into a
shiva house, sat down and cried for 10 min-
utes, then left. And that was appropriate.
"As a general rule, we want to follow God's
way, show that 'I am with you in your pain.' "
— Rabbi Boruch Levin, director of
Hebrew Memorial Chapel
10
Looking for true
love: what's the
hot spot for meet-
ing Jewish
singles?
0
ne of the best places for meeting
singles is at the Community Shab-
bat services, put together by Re-
form and Conservative
congregations with a Max M. Fisher Founda-
tion grant in cooperation with The Jewish
News and the Jewish Community Center. The
services are held once a month and rotate be-
tween congregations. Services begin at 8:30
p.m. and are followed by an Oneg Shabbat
with a well-known speaker discussing an issue
relevant to those present.
"The services are well-attended. At our first
singles service we had 400, and between 300
and 400 at services since then. The next will be
June 11 at Adat Shalom Synagogue.
"And yes, I really have heard of romances that
began at these."
— Nancy Gad-Harf,
program director for Temple Israel
11
y
How do you find a
good Yiddish
teacher?
ou can start by calling us. We just
hired two new Yiddish teachers, who
are available both for classes and as
tutors.
"When you're looking for a good teacher, find
someone who is sensitive to the student's needs,
style and skill, who knows the material and re-
ally likes what she's doing, and who is inspir-
ing.
"More and more people are interested in
learning Yiddish these days. There's a real
resurgence around the world, including in Is-
rael. In this country, there are college pro-
grams, especially on the East Coast, and some
places where you can get a degree in Yiddish.
"Unfortunately, the only place Yiddish is re-
ally spoken now is in the Orthodox community.
Yiddish is such an integral part of our culture,
and we'll all be really sorry if our generation
just says, 'It's too late now.' "
— Ellen Bates-Brackett,
director of
the Workmen's Circle
1
Where can you
find out about
Jewish life on a
college campus?
N
ational Hillel produces a book called
the Hillel Guide to Jewish Life on
Campus: A Directory of Resources for
Jewish College Students. Basically,
it's a state-by-state guide that includes all kinds
of general and Jewish information. It talks
about the Jewish enrollment at a school, about
the Hillel, its staff, when there are services and
whether they're Orthodox or egalitarian, Jewish
courses on campus, and whether kosher food is
available.
"We have a copy here (at the Wayne State
University Hillel Foundation) which anyone can
come use. Or, you can order it through the In-
ternational Center of B'nai B'rith Hillel Foun-
dations, 1640 Rhode Island Ave. NW,
Washington, D.C., 20036, phone (202) 857-6560,
or fax 202 857-6693."
— Miriam Starkman,
director of
B'nai B'rith Metro Detroit Hillel Foundations
1
I
What'S your best
advice for a
student
considering
rabbinical school?
t's one of the great professions that he or
she can consider today. "I would absolutely
encourage you to go, because there are so
many new and exciting dimensions of ser-
vice to the Jewish people through the rab-
binate. It can be through working as a
congregational rabbi or with a Hillel on a col-
lege campus, among others. I have found it a
very satisfying career if you want to serve peo-
ple and get paid (not overpaid) for doing things
you want to do anyway."
— Rabbi David Nelson,
Congregation Beth Shalom
15
What are the most
welcome gifts at a
wedding shower?
C
ookbooks, menorahs, kiddush cups,
seder plates, matzah covers, challah
boards and Havdalah sets — items for a
Jewish home that can be used again and
again, year after year.
"Of course, there are more unusual gifts, too.
Once, somebody gave (as a shower gift) a complete
case of Shabbat candles — three years' worth.
"Gifts run in cycles, but cookbooks are always
popular and include everything from the conven-
tional, which may be the only one a bride will have
at home, to specialty cookbooks like Chinese
kosher, Italian kosher and just for the food proces-
sor."
— Avrom Borenstein,
of Borenstein Books and Music
1
How does someone
become involved in
political issues of in-
terest to the Jewish
community?
T
he first thing I suggest is touching base
with the Jewish Community Council to
find out about the issues. Then you can
contact Jewish legislators to see what
kind of issues they're involved with and their effect
on the Jewish community.
"There are many Jewish organizations that offer
a great place to start. One of these is AIPAC (the
American-Israel Public Affairs Committee). Anoth-
er is the National Council of Jewish Women, which
does a wonderful job of monitoring issues important
to the Jewish community.
"Just give these places a call, and in each case
somebody will be able to tell you when to come to a
meeting, or get you to talk with somebody, or send
you some literature."
— Zina Kramer,
a longtime
Democratic Party activist
Where can you go to find out about
Jewish social services for seniors?
C
ome to us. "Some of the things we offer are financial assistance and housing relocation, find-
ing the appropriate supportive or independent housing depending on the senior's needs. "We
also have a unique service for families who live out of town while the senior is here. This
Senior Outreach Service is a case management service where we will stand in place of family
where there is none. We can set up all kinds of services: meals on wheels, transportation, counseling
and group treatment.
"We also offer respite for the family care giver, in which the respite worker provides services the
care giver does — and that's for someone of any age, though seniors are our main clients."
— Phyllis Schwartz,
director of senior services for
Jewish Family Service
ADVICE page 44