May I Offer You A Bit Of Advice?

plain a concept, a point of view or an ideal so
that a high-school junior can grasp it, then you
have missed the boat when it comes to getting
your point across.
"Rule #3: Begin with something interesting
to keep people's attention. If people aren't at-
tracted to your first utterings, it's much harder
to get them back for what you want them to
learn. The first thing in a speech is the hook
that makes the rest of it relevant and worth lis-
tening to.
"Rule #4: Be prepared. I have noticed that
the longer the sermon is, or the more boring the
sermon, the less preparation went into it. The
best speakers I know have taught that a great
deal of time goes into distilling the speech to
make it meaningful, entertaining and under-
standable ... and distilling (or cutting) takes
time!"
* — Rabbi Dannel Schwartz,
Temple Shir Shalom

THE DETRO

6

What are the most
important items to
take along on a
vacation to Israel?

oney and a good pair of tennis shoes.
"The most important thing is to take
an open heart. Give yourself a treat.
Take your heart and soul and let
them get replenished. If you take those things,
your trip will be wonderful. Then bring all those
things back to the community."
Leah Ann Kleinfeldt,
assistant director of the
Jewish Community Center in West Bloomfield
and a frequent visitor to Israel

7

What are
the most
fun things
for
children to
do on
Shabbat
afternoon?

T

aking a nap is not
fun. "I like to
read books. And
we eat — my fa-
vorite is gum. "I like to play
games, like Four Corners.
That's when you have five
people and everyone gets in
a corner, one is in the mid-
dle and has to try and get a
corner.
"Sometimes I play with
friends when they come
over."
One of 11 children, Tova
Chaya says she always en-
joys teasing her brothers
and sisters, "even on Shab-
bos."
— Tova Chaya Cohen, 10,
a student at Bais Yaakov

How should you respond to anti-
8 Semitic remarks?

hat is said is much less important than saying some-
thing. People worry about whether their response was
that one-liner that will devastate the offending speak-
er. That's a lot less critical than simply confronting the
prejudicial remark and expressing the sentiment that such thoughts
are unacceptable.
"If the comment is not about Jews, you need to make the speaker
understand that he cannot assume such remarks will get a friendly
reception.
"If it's about you (as a Jew), it's more useful to identify the speak-
er as a bigot. The exception is when there is some evidence that he is
simply ignorant and not hostile, in which case your response should
be educational. If you have a relationship with the speaker, your re-
marks should be directed toward how that (anti-Semitic statement)
makes you feel."
— Richard Loebenthal,
director of the Anti-Defamation League of Metropolitan Detroit

W

9

I

What are the best things to say
to comfort a family sitting
shiva?

f you knew the deceased, don't walk into a shiva home and start
talking about the Tigers. Some people think shiva is a time to try
to forget, but that's not true. It's a grieving period, a time to en-
rich lives through memory.
"What would be proper is to talk about the deceased. Some of the
most fulfilling times I've had on a shiva call were when we talked
and cried together and relived some of the past: 'He (the deceased)
was a great kibbitzer, I remember him saying this,' or 'She made a
great potato kugel. I'm going to miss that.'
"If there's a loss and you don't know the person who passed away,
you may want to talk about the difficulties. Perhaps you can relate to
the event. The anguish of a community can help with one's pain.