We/ tr Meet You

THE NAME GAME

(continued from page 45)

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46

•JANUARY/FEBRUARY 1993 •

STYLE

thing to do until I was bombarded by people
asking me about it," says Sandy Kresch, a
Southfield native who mar r ied Alan Kravitz
in May of 1991 and now works as a lawyer for
the Environmental Protection Agency in
Washington, D.C. But she ended up chang-
ing her mind, instead of her name.
"I thought about it and realized its impor-
tant for our kids to think of me as an individ-
ual and not just as a mother or wife. I got
mar r ied at 29 and that was a long time to go
with the same name. It was hard for me to
think about changing it. I think if I'd gotten
mar r ied right after college, I probably wouldn't
have had such strong feelings about keeping
my name."
But for Lauren Rudack, an ophthalmic tech-
nician who will many social worker Michael
Nathan in July, tradition outweighs profes-
sional considerations. "I will be taking my fi-
ance's last name," explains Ms. Rudack of
Southfield. "We're both kind of traditional and
have traditional values. be 34 by the time
I get married and I always wanted to have a
traditional wedding and the house with the
white picket fence, two kids and the whole
bit. I'm proud to be Michael's wife and I'm
proud to take his name. I've always said Fm
going to marry one time and one time only.
So I feel like I'm taking his name for the rest
of my life."
If a couple doesn't see eye to eye, the name-
exchange can become a touchy issue — par-
ticularly if there's a perception on the man's
part that having the same name means forg-
ing a more loving bond. "My husband is very
liberated, but I felt there was an unspoken
feeling on his part, almost as if he thought
there would be more of a commitment if I'd
taken his name," one woman says. "He didn't
say too much about it, but I think he would
have liked it if I'd changed my name." Its im-
portant for engaged couples to discuss the is-
sue ahead of time.
Often it's not until children come along that
a couple decides whose name is really im-
portant. For the next generation's sake, some
couples prefer to have one family name, so
the children's teachers and friends won't have
to worry about keeping them straight. That
is what Ara Debrody and Robert Smith ulti-
mately did. When the couple got married in
1986, she ended up with Debrody-Smith and
he kept Smith. "I always loved my maiden
name, and in comparison to Debrody, Smith
seemed very plain — there are so many
Smiths," says Ara. "I felt like I was losing iden-