population that doesn't have their names
passed down, and I wanted to call attention to
that." So after graduating from college in 1990,
she became Norine Hendricks-Kuratli—the
same order as her mother's married name.
"My mother's Swiss, and in Switzerland
names are often hyphenated with the man's
name first and the woman's name at the end,"
says Norine, a medical secretary and a grad-
uate student in art history. "I think its so peo-
ple who knew her before she was married will
still be able to find her."
Indeed, these days, anything goes when it
comes to the matter of monikers. Some in-
ventive couples create a new name based on
some combination of both family names. Or,
they keep both in the family by giv-
ing male children the father's sur-
name, and female offspring the
mother's— which, admittedly,
may cause some confusion at schools r
among people who don't realize they are all
related. Another compromise is giving a first-
born child the woman's maiden name as a
middle name, to keep it part of the family.
Then there's the most radical option of all
casting genealogical interests aside and choos-
ing a neutral third name.
Depending on when in their lives they mar-
ry, women today may have already made a
name for themselves in their careers— as well
as their credit ratings —and may be loath to
give them up. "I had decided I was going to
change my name because its the traditional
Family pride s , eminism, careers, children there's much
to consider before a bride takes her husband's name.
S
By Stacey Colino
It was a desire to give her mother equal
credit for rearing her that prompted Norine
Hendricks— who's single— to add her moth-
er's maiden name to her own. "I was always
under the impression that marriage was a
partnership," she explains. "My parents have
a really neat relationship, and that's really
influenced me. I wanted to give them credit
for that and let the society in which I live know
that I wasn't pleased with the way this name
handing was going down. Its a question of:
Why is the man's name passed down? Its not
something I have against men; its something
I havefor women. There's a whole half of our
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BRIDES • JANUARY/FEBRUARY
I •
1993
• 45
PE TE R YU IL L
hortly after deciding to exchange
vows, many brides-to-be begin
mulling over the issue of whether
to change their names. No one has
a say in the name they were born
with, so depending on how she feels about
her name, a woman might welcome the op-
portunity to take another surname. Or, in the
interests of preserving family ties or her pro-
fessional name, she may feel strongly about
keeping it. Either way, for some its a difficult,
emotionally charged decision, one that, for
better or worse, will have lasting impact.
A generation ago, taking a husbands' name
was a given— one of the expected milestones
along life's natural course. But in the 1970s,
the automatic adoption of the husband's name
met with something of a backlash— not un-
like those met by other patriarchal traditions.
Women were seeking greater equality in re-
lationships; they began asking, Why should I
give up my name? Many embraced hyphen-
ated names as an emblem of equality, an ex-
pression of the feminist values of the decade.
Since then, more married women have sim-
ply retained their maiden names. As an at-
torney who kept her name after marrying in
May of 1991 puts it, "I'm an independent per-
son, and I wanted a separate identity. I didn't
want to be known as the doctor's wife."