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Ladies, stop bobbing your heads.
It's time to get serious on the job.
Connie Glaser
usan Ep-
stein wanted
a raise.
She walk-
ed into her
boss' office, sat down, and de-
livered her heartfelt speech.
"It has been such a tough
year for me, Mr. Smith," she
said. "You know my daugh-
I
"5
ter needs braces and my hus-
band, Carl, was laid off last
January. So I'm wondering if
you think, well, if it might be
possible, if I could have a
raise about now. Would that
be all right?"
Two doors down, Bob Gold-
berg sat at his desk and con-
sidered his situation. He also
wanted a raise, but knew
funds at the company were
tight this year. As soon as
Ms. Epstein was done (he
knew because he could hear
her whining from down the
hall), Mr. Goldstein ap-
proached the boss.
"Mr. Smith," he said, "I've
come to discuss my work here
at the company. Since I took
office, sales have increased
by 15 percent. At my initia-
tive, we opened a new branch
in Podunk, and I've written
four new brochures dis-
cussing our growth. I think a
$5,000 raise would be appro-
priate."
Later that day, Ms. Ep-
stein met up with her col-
league.
"How did you do?" Bob
said.
"Don't ask," she replied.
But Bob Goldberg was
glowing. He had received a
20 percent raise.
If only Susan Epstein had
read More Power To You. The
new book, by former Detroi-
ter Connie Brown Glaser and
Atlantan Barbara Steinberg
Smalley, teaches women how
to communicate their way to
success everywhere, from the
office to the auto repair shop.
"The main message of this
book is how to be taken seri-
ously," Ms. Glaser said.
The two authors met in
Athens, Ga., where both were
active in their synagogue sis-
terhood. Ms. Glaser was a lec-
turer and communications
specialist; Ms. Smalley was
a freelance writer. They de-
cided to pool their resources
and write an article, "The
Power Communicator," ad-
vising women how to become
better communicators.
The article was published
in New Woman magazine,
but that was just the first
step. "As we sat down to
write the article, we realized
how much more information
we had than could possibly
be contained in an article,"
Ms. Glaser said. So they de-
cided to write a book.
The key problem women
have is social conditioning.
ELIZABETH APPLEBAUM
ASSISTANT EDITOR
"They tend to be wary about
coming on too strong, and
they tend to discredit them-
selves. They'll often preface
a comment with, know this
may be a dumb question, but
...' or 'I never was very good
in science, but ... ' "
Women also overuse what
Ms. Glaser calls the "tag
question" — that chipper-but-
revolting "is that okay with
everyone?" comment at the
end of "The meeting is at 5
p.m."
The premise behind the
tag question is legitimate:
Women want to be sensitive
and foster group consensus.
The problem is that such re-
marks "send out the message
that we're not really sure of
ourselves," Ms. Glaser said.
Something else funny is
happening with women and
communication, and unfor-
tunately it has nothing to do
with jokes. The problem is
that, Roseanne Arnold aside,
women show little sense of
humor on the job. Probably
because they fear they won't
be taken seriously, "women
don't like to laugh unless oth-
ers are laughing."
Not having a sense of hu-
mor will get you about as far
as telling your new bride
mother-in-law jokes. Ms.
Glaser noted a recent report
in which 98 percent of For-
tune 500 CEOs labeled a
good sense of humor a pre-
requisite to success.
Women also have a prob-
lem with body language, the
author noted. Like one of
those dashboard dolls, whose
spring-attached head jolts
with every bump on the road,
women's heads bob and bob
and bob. They do it to let oth-
ers know they're listening,
but that's not the message it
conveys.
"In New York, I did a pre-
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