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N
Tony is also a Space
facilitator. He's been
_ divorced for one year and
is dating again. He never
attended singles services
or dances. Instead, he met
his girlfriend through pro-
fessional connections.
Although Tony's girl-
, friend is not Jewish, she
r actively participates in
Jewish traditions with
Tony; she has to if she
wants to be a part of his
life. During the divorce,
the synagogue became
what Tony refers to as his
second family.
A member of Adat
Shalom, Tony often wor-
ries about Jewish identifi-
cation for his three chil-
dren — his ex-wife retains
custody.
N "It's like dividing assets
of responsibility," Tony
said. "With whom does the
responsibility for raising
the children Jewish lie?"
Tony has taken the bur-
den upon himself, bring-
ing the children to syna-
gogue and enrolling them
in Hebrew school. He also
has been instrumental in
getting a support group
called LunchClub into the
Bloomfield Hills schools.
One day a week children
of divorce meet in a class-
room during lunch hour
with a psychologist.
"The divorce rate there
is approaching 40 percent.
It's important to support
the children and make
them realize they are not
alone in their feelings,"
Tony said.
"Divorce is not the end
of life; it's just a change of
life," Tony said. "The par-
ties divorcing will be OK.
It's the kids I worry
about."
At Solo, single parents
are the primary concern.
The program was devel-
oped at Temple Israel
about four years ago with
the goal of providing an
atmosphere for single
Jews with children to get
involved in programming
and hear speakers. Solo
members need not be affil-
iated with Temple Israel.
In addition to the more
formal events Solo spon-
sors, it also holds informal
pub crawls and family
activities.
Corky Gorchoff was an
active member of Temple
Israel and was asked to
act as Solo chairperson
when the program began.
She continues that role
today.
"For me, temple isn't an
exclusive 'family' activity,"
Ms. Gorchoff said. "But I
understand that it is for
_
I
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many people. When you're
hurting from the breakup
of a family, to go to temple
and see all these people
you perceive as happily
married couples is too
painful.
"But just because some-
one is divorced or widowed
does not mean he no
longer belongs to a fami-
ly," she added.
Ms. Gorchoff views the
steps taken by the commu-
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tive light. However, she
would like to see the syna-
gogues encourage singles
to participate more. Yet
she acknowledges the
problem of the rabbi often
being the last to know
about a divorce.
Also, Ms. Gorchoff would
like to see more programs
available to all singles —
not a particular age group.
"Almost everybody is
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