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"I'm throwing this one up in the air for anyone to catch." Rabbi Roman is in a peculiar situation. As a rabbi, he acts as spiritual leader of a movement which is pro-family. Synagogues, he said, have been slow to realize and accept alternative defini- tions of family and have not adequately promoted new understanding. "The synagogue is the institution that has always been pro-marriage. For this generation that is not a reality. People are choosing to stay single, to postpone marriage and children," Rabbi Roman said. "My role is to make them feel comfortable and help them participate meaningfully." In general, the question he faces most often from divorced individuals regards the financial break in membership. Yet he struggles personally and professionally with the issue of separate pro- gramming. Although there have been no requests for a singles-only adult educa- tion class, Rabbi Roman considers the message of starting one. "Do we want separate programming? Or do we adjust our current pro- gramming to better inte- grate singles?" he asks. "We're not in the business of trying to attract singles specifically, but of trying to attract Jews to some- thing meaningful." As a single man, Rabbi Roman said there is nothing more the institutions could be doing that he is wanting. He believes synagogues and agencies try to be fair — pricing events by the indi- vidual, thereby no longer assuming all people are part of a couple. Even if he were not a rabbi, Rabbi Roman said he would belong to a syna- gogue, enroll in adult edu- cation and belong to the brotherhood. His biggest problem is finding women interested in the same sort of Jewish activities. "Being a rabbi is not my profession. It's my life- style as a Jew," he said. Lea Traiger faces simi- lar problems. She derives great satis- faction from her job as a social worker, her home on a lake, her physically -; active lifestyle and her worship at Temple Emanu- El. Divorced for 12 years now, she has yet to find a partner who shares these passions. "I'd love to have some- one sitting with me, gain- ing that spiritual fulfill- ment," Ms. Traiger said. "But the men I want to meet are either getting fixed up or they are choos- ing to date non-Jews. I know this because I'm not "Divorce is not the end of life, it's just a change of life." Tony meeting them. I've tried dating gentiles, but my heart wasn't into it." Ms. Traiger attends many singles events — dances, sporting activities, services — but claims to see the same people again and again. She's tried the personal ads without much success. For the last seven years she has been active with Space. Now a facilitator like Mr. Oram, Ms. Traiger said Space was a place where she could dis- cuss her pain and gain support. As a group leader, she discusses issues ranging from how children deal with a par- ent's dating to how to approach the notion of safe sex and condoms. Because the sessions are co-ed, Ms. Traiger also enjoys hearing a male per- spective on divorce. "What I do now is try to do things I really enjoy. I'm an usher at the Fox/ Theatre, I facilitate at Space. I get satisfaction from these activities whether or not I meet any- one through them," Ms. Traiger said.