SIMCHA
way of stating her com-
mitment to her partner
Pam. She converted to
Judaism.
Her father was an
atheist and her mother
a Catholic. However,
Barb's father ruled the
home — and there was
no religion there. Reli-
gion was left up to Barb
to decide.
When Barb and Pam
got together 22 years
ago, they discussed many
issues — among them,
monogamy, loyalty and
religion.
"When you fall in love
you want to know every-
thing about that person.
Pam told me all about
growing up Jewish, hav-
ing seder, lighting the
menorah. I found it
appealing," Barb said.
"By converting, it was a
symbolic way of showing
our commitment, a sym-
bolic way of joining my
life with Pam. I was now
Women account
for only 30
percent of
Simcha's
membership.
a part of her tradition
and her culture. And it's
on paper."
Barb was converted by
a Conservative rabbi.
"Pam's mom used to
call me 'that shiksa,'"
Barb laughed. "But hon-
estly, I wanted Pam's
mother, and everyone
else, to realize this was a
serious, life-long rela-
tionship."
Being together so long,
Pam and Barb were
involved in the early
days of Lambda Chi in
1978. They've watched
the transition from a
seder of 10 people to
Simcha's Chanukah par-
ties of 100.
"Our gayness was
never really relevant,"
Pam said. "But when we
became involved in
Lambda Chi, and later
Simcha, all of a sudden
being Jewish mattered
and being gay mattered.
There was a reason for it
and for us."
Stuart also dates a
converted Jew. Having
met through Simcha,
they have been together
one-and-a-half years.
"I basically only date
Jewish men. It's the
same standards of men
who only date Jewish
women," Stuart said. "I
love my religion; I love
the holidays. And I want
to be able to share that
with my significant
other."
Stuart is one of the
founding members of
Simcha. Lambda Chi was
less than satisfying to
his personal and reli-
gious needs, so he
formed a study group
which evolved into
Simcha.
"For me, Simcha is tied
to the things I really
love, my Judaism and my
sexuality," Stuart said.
Stuart is pleased to see
the Reform congrega-
tions beginning to
address gay and lesbian
issues, but does not see
much support from the
Jewish community over-
all.
"It's evolving though.
Just as we are," Stuart
said. "Ten years ago, I
wouldn't be talking
about this to the media.
Five years ago, I would
have done so with trepi-
dation. Maybe next time
I can use my last
name." ❑
Robbie Lebow at home.