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S I MC H A

Detroit gays and lesbians have found joy in
celebrating their sexual and Jewish identities.

t 15 years old,
Robbie Lebow
wrote a paper
for an English
class titled
"Homosexuality
in America." It included
statistics, quotes from
newspaper articles about
the growing gay and les-
bian movement, and per-
sonal experience. He was
suspended from school
for three days because
his paper topic was
"inappropriate."
Now 39 years old, Mr.
Lebow is a self-employed
interior designer and
owns a home in
Huntington Woods. At
times, he feels gays and
lesbians are about as
accepted and understood
today as they were 24
years ago.
Some strides have
been made he admits.
The formation of Simcha,
a gay and lesbian Jewish
support group, is one of
them.
Simcha, Hebrew for
joy, formed in 1988. It
developed out of a small

study group (chavurah)
of gay Jewish men. As
their group grew, the
members realized a need
to expand their member-
ship to include women
and to broaden their
direction.
Simcha's first event, a
bagels and bobkas social
in September of 1988,
proved successful and
the group took off. It now
boasts a paid member-
ship of 120, religious ser-
vices and an Oneg
Shabbat once a month,
an annual Chanukah
party, seder and other
events.
Mr. Lebow had become
friendly with one of
the founding members
of Simcha and began
attending events with
his gentile lover, Grant
Collins. Mr. Collins
recently died of AIDS.
"We met a group of gay
men and women who
were successful and
seemed to be well inte-
grated into both gay and
straight society," Mr.
Lebow said.

Mr. Lebow was pleas-
antly surprised to find a
group of people he liked
so much. Several years
earlier, he had attended
a meeting of Lambda Chi
— the predecessor to
Simcha. Mr. Lebow
found many members to
be extremely closeted
and paranoid.
"I decided if I wanted
to be a healthy, gay man
I'd best stay away from
these people," Mr. Lebow
said. "They just weren't
having fun."
And although members
of Simcha do have a good
.time, Mr. Lebow is dis-
tressed that more of
them are not "out" pro-
fessionally.
"When you're young
you feel like the only gay
Jew on earth," Mr.
Lebow said. "I think we
need to be a haven of
sorts for young Jews
coming out.
"Maybe it's time these
closeted individuals
learn to live another
way. Isn't fear as motiva-
tion the worst way to live

your life?" Mr. Lebow
asked.
Gays and lesbians
need a name and a face,
just like people with
AIDS, he added.
Not everyone in
Simcha feels so strongly.
Most members are
"out" to their friends and
family, just not profes-
sionally. Occupations
within the group run the
gamut of doctors,
lawyers, educators and
business owners. Many
members feel coming out
professionally could be
detrimental.
Some, like Aaron, don't
feel sexuality should be
discussed with co-work-
ers.
"I remain committed to
the principle that my ori-
entation is irrelevant to
how I do my job. It is rel-
evant to other aspects of
my life, and in those
forums I discuss it,"
Aaron said.
Aaron's parents and
siblings are aware of his
sexual identity. How-
ever, they do not talk

about it much. Aaron is
sympathetic to those
members who are not
only closeted profession-
ally, but personally.
"We're catering to
multi generations here.
The people who are over
40 grew up in a far dif-
ferent world and tend to
be more protective of
their gay identity,"
Aaron said. "We don't
want to alienate them. If
anything, perhaps they
need Simcha more than
the rest of us."
Aaron became involved
with Simcha when he
moved back to Michigan
almost three years ago.
He had "come out" to a
gay and lesbian Jewish
group in Texas when he
was 26.
"I had painted a black
and white picture of the
world for myself. And I
envisioned if anyone
knew I was gay, my life
would come crashing
down. I'd lose my
friends, family and
career," Aaron said. "I
didn't know a single gay

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By Lesley Pearl, Staff Writer
Photos by Glenn Triest and Kristine Anderson

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