7

Howard and Sophie Ellis don't worry about religion.

kids. He doesn't."
Mr. Gietzen does not asso-
ciate himself with any reli-
gion. Born and raised a
Catholic in Warren, Mr.
Gietzen dropped out of the
church at age 16 —
denouncing organized
gion.
"Nancy being Jewish was
not a real issue with my
folks. It seems in Warren
blacks are the race to hate,
so Nancy being Jewish was
no big deal," Mr. Gietzen
said.
In December, Mr. and
Mrs. Gietzen have a
Christmas tree and a meno-
rah. They join both their
families for the holidays and
say that both sides have
been very supportive.
However, Mrs. Gietzen is
still at odds with the Jewish
community.
"I resent picking up an
article and reading that I
am less of a Jew because I
fell in love with someone
who wasn't," Ms. Gietzen
said. "As a group of people
that have been discriminat-
ed against, it seems odd that
Jews are the first ones to
run from integration. What
are we running from?"
Mr. Gietzen chuckled.
"I never belonged to a
community. It's interesting
now running up against
one," Mr. Gietzen said.
Julie Hollander was
raised with a strong sense of
community — growing up in
a modern Orthodox home.
Although the 23-year-old
West Bloomfield resident is
not dating anyone presently,
she has had difficulty find-
ing appropriate Jewish men
to date in the past.
She has not met any in
synagogue, is turned off by
personal ads and has been
less than thrilled with the

Jim and Nancy Gietzen celebrate both holidays.

Jewish - men with
whom she has been
set up.
"I'm sure I could
share interests
with a Jewish man.
I just haven't done
so yet," Ms.
Hollander said.
Ms. Hollander
believes part of the
problem is she did
not go away to col-
lege and she is not
a "professional."
Instead, she enroll-
ed in classes at
community college
and works as an
office manager at
an interior design
firm.
Jenifer Cantry will convert to marry Bill Frischling.
"The Jewish men
I do meet won't give
ters) Jewish," Carole
me the time of day because
Hollander said. "It's not our
of those facts. I think Jews
concern that they remain
from this area tend to be
Orthodox —just Jewish."
very cliquish," she said.
Mrs. Hollander does not
Although Ms. Hollander
believe Julie could marry a
has not yet found a Jewish
gentile due to the pain it
man to fit the bill — unpre-
would cause her family, so
tentious and a baseball fan
she doesn't much worry
— she is confident she will
about it.
marry Jewish one day.
"So far, she hasn't brought
"There is this underlying
home this dilemma, falling
law that it would break my
in love with a gentile. I don't
parents' hearts if I married
think she will either," Mrs.
a gentile," Ms. Hollander
Hollander said.
said. "My parents have
Bill Frischling did fall in
given me a life and a reason
love
with a non-Jew though
to want to marry Jewish —
— Jenifer Cantry.
not the community. So I
Ms. Cantry, a 21-year-old
don't worry about what oth-
Michigan State University
ers say when I don't date a
student, received virtually
Jew. I'm not responsible for
no religious background at
the whole community — for
her home in Jackson. She
the survival of Judaism. I'm
visited a Baptist church a
only responsible for me. And
few times and had a
the proper values were
Christmas tree in the home.
instilled in me in my home."
Mr. Frischling attended a
Julie's mother, Carole,
Reform temple, Hebrew
echoes much of her daugh-
high school and was a bar
ter's sentiment.
mitzvah in Long Island,
"My husband and I prac-
N.Y. He dated both Jews
ticed what we preached rais-
and gentiles.
ing them (her three daugh-

"My mother
maintained that
you date whom
you want, but you
marry Jewish,"
Mr. Frischling
said.
That may be-
come a reality.
Mr. Frischling
and Ms. Cantry
plan to marry in
1994. Ms. Cantry
will convert to
Judaism.
When Mr. Fris-
chling returned to
New York last
78 summer to intern
at Newsday, Ms.
Cantry remained
in East Lansing.
She began reading
— a lot. And when
she came upon What Is A
Jew?, she realized that it
was what she wanted to be.
"It answered a lot of ques-
tions for me, especially gen-
der issues," Ms. Cantry said.
"In the church, women are
there to make babies.
Women have a significant
role in Judaism. Everything
I read in that book I already
believed in."
Mr. Frischling and Ms.
Cantry didn't discuss the
book at first.
"He didn't want me to con-
vert solely for him. But I
decided I wanted it. I want-
ed him," Ms. Cantry said.
Mr. Frischling said he is
happy with his girlfriend's
decision, but he would never
pressure her to convert.
"All I cared about is that
the children would be raised
Jewish," Mr. Frischling said.
"It's something built into
me. I have friends that were
raised with both Judaism
and Christianity and they
seem screwed up at times.
You either are something or

you are not."
Although Mr. Frischling
rarely attends synagogue
anymore, the notions of fam-
ily, holidays and traditions
remain important in his life.
"I've always wanted to be
something" Ms. Cantry said,
"to belong to something. I
know it's important to Bill
to raise the children in a
Jewish home. I couldn't
have and raise children
whom I didn't share a reli-
gion with."
John Bobrowski is also a
native of Jackson. He
attended Catholic school
from grades 1-12 and later
U-M where he met his wife,
Lynn Goldberg — a Jew
from Pennsylvania.
Mr. Bobrowski attends
weekly mass at Our
Lady Queen of Martyrs
in Birmingham. Mrs.
Bobrowski is a member of
Shir Tikvah in Troy. They
were married by a judge 10
years ago.
"My parents were not
immediately comfortable
with the idea of me dating a
gentile. They grew to like
John, but I think maybe
they hoped he'd go away,"
Mrs. Bobrowski said.
Obviously, he didn't.
"Lynn is Jewish and I'm
happy she participates in
her religion," Mr. Bobrowski
said. "However, I have no
desire to be Jewish. I believe
it's foolish to convert unless
you truly believe. I don't
expect Lynn to wake up one
day and believe Jesus Christ
is her savior."
Mrs. Bobrowski respects
her husband's views. That is
why she did not join a syna-
gogue until she found Shir
Tikvah.
"I found the Jewish com-
munity very unwelcoming.
Rabbis told me if John didn't