When Actuality Gives Way To Possibility Continued from Page L-1 traditional visit, remembering family is an important piece to include in High Holiday preparations. Bring out the photo albums and put them on the coffee table. Make sure the videotapes of family members are around. Remind family members to whom they are connected and how. This would be a good time to display or make your family tree. Another powerful preparation for the High Holidays is recitation of selichot prayers. These are special penitential prayers and are recited each morning starting the week before Rosh Hashanah. However, it has become the custom the Saturday night beginning the week of these prayers, that they are recited at midnight. In many congregations the service is preceded by Torah study. The prayers are said late at night at a time that seems appropriate for introspection. Sending new year cards is another traditional ritual of connection. Wishing friends and relatives that they be inscribed in the book of life emphasizes the importance of staying in touch. This, along with taking the time to ask forgiveness (saying you're sorry, mechillah) for things done intentionally or unintentionally gives families a valuable opportunity to not only stay in touch, but to also reconcile differences. How many times do we think about apologizing to people we love for the little things we have forgotten or are hurtful. Giving tzedakah (money to worthy causes) is also traditional during this period. Remembering others even at a time when we are engrossed in ourselves and our families is an important part of the holiday preparation. The whole family should be involved in this process. When you sit down to write a check, part of the High Holiday transformation is enhanced by including the children in the process. It is also a good time to give them the opportunity to make a contribution to the family tzedakah fund. Even during Rosh Hashanah we continue the transition with the anticipation of Yom Kippur. It is the custom for Jews to go to a river on al haidll THE JEWISH NEWS 27676 Franklin Road Southfield, Michigan 48034 September 18, 1992 Associate Publisher: Arthur M. Horwitz Consultant: Harlene W. Appelman L-2 FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 18, 1992 Preparing For Rosh Hashanah •aposUal "' 4 ■ 10. Practicing blowing the shofar Saying "I'm sorry" Giving Tzedakah Sending Rosh Ha-Shanah cards Studying the Mahzor Remembering family history Reprinted from "Building Jewish Life," by Joel Grishaver, Torah Aura Productions the afternoon of the first day of Rosh Hashanah and empty their pockets, throwing any crumbs into the river. This is to make us feel as though we have the opportunity to throw our mistakes away. The act of throwing our mistakes into the water has many explanations. One explanation is that water is constantly moving. The water we see was not there a moment ago and will not be there a moment later. So we think to ourselves that we will not repeat our mistakes. The mistakes, like the water, will move on. According to research on the importance of family rituals conducted by Dr. Steven J. Wolin, family rituals survive if family members are committed to the ritual, but are also willing to acknowledge that some rituals must change with time. Further, through repetition over time, family rituals contribute to the stability of the family. In order to be committed to family rituals, everyone needs a role. Further, each family member needs to understand what's happening on his or her own level. The High Holidays give a very powerful message in a stress-filled world: We have another chance. There is always an opportunity for reconciliation and beginning again. For children today, this message is particularly important. Each of the individual ceremonies and rituals previously mentioned, from sounding the shofar, to visiting the cemetery, to going to a moving body of water to symbolically throwing away mistakes, presents a unique opportunity to identify with and personalize the High Holidays. The High Holidays give each family member the opportunity for introspection and personal growth. Taking advantage of the High Holiday message has great potential for strengthening your family. A happy healthy New Year to you and your family. Harlene Winnick Appelman is field services director for Whizin Institute, University of Judaism and consultant to L'Chayim. Bean Bag Toss Play this game with your classmates. All the players form a cir- cle. A bean bag is tossed around the cir- cle from person to person. Each one receiving the bean bag must call out a Rosh Hashanah word. When the player calls out the word, he passes the bean bag to the next one in the circle. If a player repeats or hesitates, he is out of the game.