CLOS E -UP I FRAGILE HIST() A new Temple Emanu-El book brings home the anguish of the Holocaust. ELIZABETH APPLEBAUM Assistant Editor or many years, Rachel Kloc did not speak with her children about her past. It was too painful, she said. She didn't want to bur- den anyone. For her son, Howard, the silence was a never-ending mystery. As a child, he won- dered at his parents' tor- ment, their nightmares, their secret anguish. It did not escape him for a moment. "I don't remember a time when the Nazis didn't live with us," he says. Then one day Mr. Kloc, of Huntington Woods, went to see his parents in Florida, determined to learn about 24 FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 11, 1992 their lives. It was important not only for him, but for his children as well, he said. Today, the wartime mem- ories of the Klocs are among those — written, printed, forever accessible — in a new book,... And So We Must Remember. Published by members of Temple Emanu-El, the book com- prises selections written by congregants and their fam- ilies. ... And So We Must Re- member is being printed this week, and will be available at the temple, Borenstein's, the Book Beat and the Jew- ish Book Fair. The initial purpose of the book was to capture Holo- caust recollections. But for many involved, it proved to be much more than a mat- ter of writing and editing and collecting stories. It meant lifting layer upon lay- er of silence, removing the shroud of uneasy quiet that had enveloped families for years. "This project," Howard Kloc says, "opened doors that had remained closed." R achel Kloc was born in a small Polish town near the Russian bor- der. She was four months pregnant with her first child when she and her husband, Hershel, decided to escape into the Soviet Union to flee the Nazis. The family traveled in cat- tle cars, riding with wound- ed soldiers returning home. The Klocs' baby, Rosmarie, was born outside Tashkent. At one point, Mrs. Kloc writes in ... And So We Must Remember, a soldier gave her his bread for the baby: Later, he found me on the train and gave me his food rationed for the soldiers and said that he was not hungry. I will never forget his face. Another time, she writes of her treasure — a gold necklace, all she had left from her parents' home. I was often starving and I wouldn't trade it for food. There was one time that we dug radishes from frozen fields with our bare hands and broken glass bottles and ate them for three days and I wouldn't trade it. But then, on the train to Moscow, Rosmarie became ill. People yelled at us to throw the baby out the win- dow, kill her, make her be quiet. Two hours later, I re- turned with the baby to the nurse's car. I took (the neck- lace) from my neck, held it out to her and told her that, if she helped me, this gold was hers. The trade saved Ros- marie's life. For her gold - necklace, Rachel Kloc re- ceived penicillin. At the end of the war, Hershel and Rachel Kloc opened an orphanage — the Klocs called it "the kibbutz", — located in the former home of Nazi leader Her- ' mann Goering. Mrs. Kloc was in charge of education and served as a c kind of surrogate mother to the boys and girls. "I want- c' ed Jewish children should feel somebody still cares for them." "My sweet wife took over one part (of running the or- phanage); I took over an c- other," her husband says. Hershel Kloc's first job CD