The Jewish News and Intermarriage

(Editor's Note: The follow-
i-Jig were received in response
to Managing Editor Phil
Jacobs' Aug. 14 Opinion, "It's
Not Newspaper's Role to
Validate Intermarriage.")

The issue here is really in-
termarriage. Regardless of
on e's opinion of them, the
reality is that more than 40
percent of our children are
g oosing this route. It is also
true that most of the Detroit
rabbinate refuses to officiate,
let alone co-officiate, at an in-
r‘j. trmarriage. What happens
to the people refused?
First of all, virtually no one
I chooses not to marry the per-
( son that they love because a
-2rabbi refuses to marry them.
They simply look elsewhere. I
,F,ee many of these couples
and their anguished parents.
(3
And this is what I hear —
"My family has belonged to
This temple or shul forever." "I
.grew up in this congregation."
"I can't believe that a priest
or minister is willing to co-
officiate, but not a rabbi!"
) "You mean you'll marry us if
we promise to raise our
children as Jews? Even the
Catholics don't do that
(-anymore!" "If my husband is
c not welcome here, then
/ neither am I."
--Don't you folks get it? This
is how you lose families. Most
people won't go where they
have been humiliated and re-
=jected. When these couples
have children, they will seek
out those that have welcomed
them. And it isn't the Jews.
This may be news to you but
being Jewish has never been
( defined by how often a person
C-igoes to shul. Being Jewish
has always been more than
(7' just the religion. It is being
part of a strong ethnic and
Cultural group that has
always included many Jews
that feel that they don't have
Jo keep kosher to celebrate
their Jewish identity. And
they don't feel that they have
lost their identity if they
marry outside of their group.

Janis Levin-Gorelick
West Bloomfield

(D I read with apprehension

C and grave concern Phil
Jacobs' Opinion. Attitudes
cquch as his that seek to ex-
clude great numbers of Jews
do not encourage young Jews
to remain part of the com-
=-)munity. Benefits of an open
society include the free choice
H of a marriage partner
regardless
of ethnic or
.
religious heritage. In most
, cases, Jewish men or women
who choose partners who are
not Jewish have not chosen a
partner with whom their

values diverge. Their back-
grounds may differ, but they
share a common view of the
world that respects all people
— a view that honors persons,
that builds trust, that
forgives wrongdoing, and that
celebrates vitality, creativity
and openness to the world.
And when they do choose a
partner who is not Jewish,
they are not choosing to reject
their Jewish identity. In fact,
they spend many hours look-
ing for a rabbi or officiant
who will celebrate their mar-
riage with them that includes
a celebration of their
Jewishness.
The majority of the Detroit
Jewish community can con-
tinue to stick their heads in-
to the sand, ignore that 40-50
percent of Jews are marrying
outside of Judaism, and
alienate more and more Jews.
They can continue to bemoan
the fate of the Jewish people
and close the doors on an
ever-increasing number of
Jews who are making this
choice and lose the involve-
ment of these people in the
community. Or they can ac-
cept the reality of the choices
that people make and let
them know that there are
those of us in the Jewish com-
munity who will embrace
them, celebrate with them,
and remain Jewish with
them.

Miriam Jerris
Executive Director,
Society for Humanistic Judaism

I cannot stand your
"stand"! After reading the
Aug. 14 Opinion that The
Jewish News should not print
the announcements and
photographs of Jews who
choose to intermarry, I was
appalled and outraged. Mr.
Jacobs' Opinion reveals an at-
titude so irrational, racist and
counterproductive.
If we believe our managing
editor, when a Jew chooses to
marry a non-Jew the Jewish
parents have failed because
they did not teach their child
good "Jewish values!' And
what is the message to the
Jew, and his/her fiance? You
no longer exist! We will not
even announce your marriage
or show your picture. Why?
Because to do so would
"validate" your marriage!
What an unrealistic and
bigoted policy!

Marty A. Burnstein
President, Birmingham Temple

I took great offense at Phil
Jacobs' Opinion column. To
correlate publishing an
engagement or wedding pho-
tograph with the Holocaust is
morally loathsome. What is

more frightening than the
racist tone of his writing is
his role as managing editor of
your publication. It it truly
unfortunate that we Jews
must continually be subjected
to this kind of self-hating,
divisive writing.

Charles Paul
Farmington Hills

"Hurray!" I thought, as I
read your editorial "It's Not
Newspaper's Role to Validate
Intermarriage." "At last you
are taking a positive stand on
the issue of Jewish survival!"
However, I must admit that
I was ultimately disap-
pointed. It seems that The
Jewish News will continue to
acquiesce to printing these
announcements, just without
the "exclusivity of a
photograph." Big deal! I don't
believe that avoidance of the
rage and offense of in-
dividuals who tragically
choose to intermarry should
be any justification for
capitulation to their wishes
and name calling. Why can't
you "just say no"?
Why (if you, incomprehen-
sibly, indeed do have a policy
that says you MUST accept
intermarriage an-
nouncements for publication)
can't this policy be changed?
If you define "Jewish news"
as anythiing that is happen-
ing to the Jews, then I do sup-
pose such announcements
ultimately have a place in
your newspaper. But if you
must print them, why not
place them on the obituary
page where they belong?
Please, take a real stand and
put some teeth in your policy
regarding intermarriage!
Along these lines, I would
like to commend you for Rab-
bi Schulweis' "Judeo-
Christian" article (Aug. 14).
So many of our people are
unaware of the deep and fun-
damental differences between
the two religions, and it was
good to have this brought out
in the open.

Susan Tawil
Oak Park

Managing Editor Phil
Jacobs suggests abolition of
this paper's long-standing
policy of printing engagement
announcements involving
prospective intermarrieds.
Adoption of such a religious
litmus test would be most
unfortunate.
First of all, the paper is The
Jewish News, not the Dogma-
tic Jewish News. It tradi-
tionally has served the needs
of the whole Jewish com-
munity. To excise or deny the
existence of a fairly large seg-
ment of the younger com-

munity is not only to deny
reality but to promote
divisiveness. One is reminded
of Stalin's practice of air-
brushing from group photos
those who had fallen out of
favor. Similarly, Mr. Jacobs
wishes to "air-brush" from
this paper the photos of those
he disapproves of.
Then there would be the
issue of enforcement. Would
this be done discretely by
making assumptions from
surnames? Would you inter-
rogate the happy couple or
their family? How would per-
sons themselves the products
of mixed marriages be
treated? Pretty soon Mr.
Jacobs would be mired in a
sort of reverse Nuremberg
Law quagmire.
Of course, there is the issue
of whose Jewishness is being

Arad Is More
Than Statistic

Amidst the carnage and
famine convulsing many
parts of the world, it is easy
to overlook the fate of one
human being. That human
being is Capt. Ron Arad, an
Israeli navigator, whose plane
was shot down in Lebanon in
1986.
As a prisoner of war, Arad
was entitled to the civilized
amenities embodied in inter-
national law and to establish
contact with his family and
government via the interna-
tional Red Cross. Instead, he
was "sold" to an Iranian ter-
rorist group and is being held
incommunicado by the
government of Iran. Israeli
government efforts to
negotiate with Iran for his
release have been rebuffed;
since the release of all
Western hostages, neither the
United Nations nor any
government have pressed
energetically for his release.
We earnestly urge the
Jewish community to contact
the president, the secretary of
state and the Michigan Con-
gressional delegation to take
such steps as may be called
for to intervene with Iran to
secure Ron Arad's release
from six years of captivity in

enforced. For example, I con-
verted to Judaism 24 years
ago when I was married.
Although the conversion was
by one of the leading Reform
rabbis in the area, I guess it
isn't recognized by the Or-
thodox. Applying Halachah,
if my dear wife had been the
convert, and a person of Or-
thodox persuasion was your
society editor, would this have
meant no picture?
Finally, Mr. Jacobs notes
that a Jewish home is filled
with "spirit, love, values and
soul?' While these values
aren't restricted to Jewish
homes, I would suggest Mr.
Jacobs rethink his position as
measured against those
values, especially the love
part.

Robert H. Roether
West Bloomfield

solitary confinement. It
behooves us to remember
Arad not as a statistic, but as
a captive Jew worthy of
redemption.

Ezekiel Leiken
Anne Gonte Silver
Metro Detroit
Zionist Organization of America

Keshet Open For
All Special Needs

Thank you for the recent
story on Keshet, the organiza-
tion for Jewish families of
children with special needs. I
want to clarify one point,
however. Keshet provides sup-
port services for families of
children (and young adults)
with any type of special need,
including but certainly not
limited to developmental
disabilities. We have many
families whose children have
learning disabilities, atten-
tion deficit disorders, physical
handicaps such as spina
bifida, hearing and visual im-
pairments, autism and a host
of other special needs.
We feel it is important for
the community to know that
such support is now available
for families with all kinds of
disabilities.

Ronelle Grier
Director, Keshet

THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS

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