OPINION1
•
If Moses Returned, He
.Wouldn't Stand A Chance
GARY ROSENBLATT
Editor
To say that the
job of leading
the People of Is-
rael is difficult
is like saying
that Noah's gen-
t eration experi-
' ' enced a certain
amount of precipitation. So on
the eve ofIsrael's national elec-
tion, when the electorate ap-
pears less than enthusiastic
• about all of the major can-
didates, it might be ap-
propriate to ponder what
would happen if the greatest
Jewish leader of all time were
to reappear on the scene .. .
Jerusalem — An elderly
bearded man, dressed in a
long, flowing robe and carry-
ing a wooden staff, was ar-
rested at the Knesset today
on charges of harassing
• several government leaders.
The man, who gave his
name only as Moses (with
some difficulty) was taken to
Hadassah hospital for obser-
vation.
Explaining that he had
been sent "by the Lord of
Israel to lead the Jewish
people in this time of crisis,"
the man got past Knesset
guards and made his way up
to the second floor offices.
"At first I thought it was
Charlton Heston," explained
one guard, "but he wasn't as
majestic. Next thing I knew,
he had slipped right by me."
• Moses made his way into
the office of Abba Eban, the
former diplomat. "In all
candor," Mr. Eban later told
reporters, "I must say I had
some difficulty understan-
ding the gentleman as his
• Hebrew was quite ancient
and he had a definite im-
pediment. When he told me
that he should lead the Peo-
ple of Israel, I sought to im-
press upon him in the
gentlest way possible that
since the national leader is
often called upon to deliver
eloquent and mellifluous
orations, such as the one
now in progress, his plan
was ill-fated, to say the least
— as well as the most."
Moses next encountered
Minister of Bullies Ariel
Sharon. "He presented me
with his resume, which was
handwritten on parchment,
and at first I was impressed
• with the fact that he already
had 40 years of experience as
a national Jewish leader."
But Mr. Sharon told
newsmen that two details of
the resume gave him serious
pause. "First, there was no
mention of any military ex-
perience in all those years,
and when I asked this Moses
how many Egyptians he had
done battle with, he said,
`one.'
"I must have looked sur-
prised, because he quickly
added that he was young at
the time and he didn't mean
to strike a certain Egyptian
taskmaster, and that after
he did, he fled the country.
"To me, this is not the type
of strong military hero that
Israel needs, which is why I
remain the leading can-
didate on the Macho slate,"
Mr. Sharon said as he
distributed his card to the
gathered media.
Eyewitnesses say that
Moses next headed for the of-
fice of Benjamin Netanyahu,
the glib government
spokesman. "I must say that
his resume included a glow-
ing recommendation from
the Lord — literally — but
all it said was that Moses
was the most humble of all
men."
Mr. Netanyahu said he ex-
plained to Moses that
humility is no longer an
asset for a political leader ,
with ambition, and handed
him an armful of videotapes
"so he could study my ap-
pearances on all of the major
American news shows"
before heading off for inter-
views with Arsenio and
Geraldo.
At this point Moses veered
into the office of Yitzhak
Rabin, whose physical
therapist was working with
the Labor Party leader in his
painful daily smiling exer-
cises.
Mr. Rabin recalled that in
talking with Moses, he ques-
tioned the biblical leader
about his past. "I warned
him that if in his many years
of leadership he ever acted
out of stress, his political op-
ponents would harp on little
else."
Mr. Rabin, whose political
opponents have built their
campaign around his mini-
nervous breakdown on the
eve of the 1967 Six-Day War,
said Moses acknowledged
that, after coming down
from Mount Sinai and seeing
the Jewish people worshipp-
ing a Golden Calf, he had
smashed the Ten Corn-
mandments. "I wished him
well and told him to find an-
other job."
When Moses pointed out
that God had forgiven him
for his actions, Mr. Rabin
told him, "God, maybe. The
Likud, never."
Moments later, Moses,
now visibly distraught,
walked into the office of
Prime Minister Yitzhak
Shamir, who was practicing
blinking. Mr. Shamir told
reporters that he had been
impressed with Moses at
first as a man of commit-
ment and Zionist ideals.
"But when I asked him his
views about holding on to
the territories forever, he
admitted that he was not an
expert because, in his words,
he had 'never set foot in
Israel before.'
"At that point I knew he
was a fraud and called in the
guards."
As policemen dragged him
away, the man known as
Moses was heard to mutter,
"and I thought my genera-
tion was difficult. . ." ❑
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First And Foremost:
The Jewish Family
JOSEPH A. POISSON
W
e all know that Jew-
ish education does
not start in the
school, but with the Jewish
family. Our duty is to
reawaken and think about
the future of our children and
bring them up with dignity
and self-respect within our
pluralistic American society.
I would like to suggest that
we set up a public sym-
posium. This would involve
family, school, synagogue and
community organizations to
discuss and analyze vital
issues. It also would serve as
a vehicle to transmit Jewish
education and values from
generation to generation. We
will be able to expose families
to the needs of living
Jewishly at home, where our
children can share in the ben-
ching of Shabbat lights,
reciting the Kiddush and
blessing of food.
We have to think seriously
about the destiny of K'lal
Yisrael. The Jewish family is
the link in the continuous
chain of our existence as a
people and the guardian of
Joseph Poisson is director of
education at Temple Israel.
our tradition. As we received
the Torah and our heritage
from our parents-teachers, it
becomes our obligation to
teach it to our children, and
they to their children.
This symposium should
consider the following issues
facing the future of the U.S.
Jewish community: assimila-
tion, demographic changes,
mixed marriages and the
decline in the size of the
Jewish family.
The most important ques-
tion is: How can we help the
families make their home a
Jewish home?
F. Adler, in his book Creed
and Deed, states that "We
have drawn our first nourish-
ment from the soil of the
family. The family is the
school of duties . . . founded
on love." Our family, in-
dividually and collectively,
was, is and will be the unit
that will keep us together
within the Jewish network.
Whatever our children ac-
quire at an early age stays
with them throughout their
lives. We must involve the
parents in the educational
process and in the ex-
periences of their childrens'
education as norim-morim,
parent-teachers. In other
words, the family that is in-
volved Jewishly at home will
help safeguard Jewish values,
education and knowledge ac-
quired at the religious school.
The suggested symposium
should deal with "learning
how," cultural and religious
practices, and give the
necessary skills for religious
practices in the modern
Jewish home. This "doing
together" venture could build
bridges between the home,
school and synagogue.
The total family involve-
ment through using the five
senses: sight, hearing, smell,
taste and touch, should
engulf our children in their
Jewish upbringing. This will
help connect them to our
past, create compassion and
gain respect for study of
Torah and tradition.
If we are willing to invest in
Jewish education and see
that families keep their
Jewish identity through liv-
ing Jewishly, we could erase
the "vanishing Jew" syn-
drome from our midst.
The Jewish family is the
foundation of Jewish educa-
tion, and the future of our
community depends on the
rise and fall of the Jewish
family. If the right steps are
taken now, we may see more
of our children living as pro-
ud Jews and taking pride in
their Jewish way of life. p
THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS
7